People's reactions when asking for advice...
Forums:
How do ya'll deal with people whom you vent to about problems/feelings about your SK and all they do is say you HAVE to love them as your own, you HAVE to be a role model etc etc
Pretty much the people who have no idea what they're talking about because they've never been in that situation so they're basically appalled that you can actually feel a such way about a child. And then they scold you as if you can help how you feel....
My question to you is why you
My question to you is why you would have ANYTHING to do with people who give you stupid orders and scold you.
Those people would just be removed from my life. I'd probably want to tell them to go eff themselves and the horse they rode in on - but really wouldn't expend the energy to do so.
Ignore the whore. SM motto.
pffft I don't care what ppl
pffft I don't care what ppl think honestly
I can say-in my family-divorce and remarriage was quite common-so there's a lot of stepmom/stepdad/stepsiblings etc
So nobody in my family has ever said I had to love my stepkids.
Now DH's family-think I am to have NOTHING to do with the kids. Meaning if there's a family function and DH brings the kids-I'm not to be around them. Same with BM's family. They all pretend DH is some babysitter so BM can have her kid free time (which doesn't really work out because she's got her YDD and her stepkids) and I'm just the invisible bitch that's with DH.
You don't have to do a damn thing except live your life the way YOU want-and die happy.
So, so true. My DH says I
So, so true. My DH says I don't love or treat his kid(s) the way I do my own. Duh! Never understood where that saying came from "love them as your own". Uhm no, I didn't carry them, raise them, worry about them, take them to doctors, etc. I can't even love my SS as my own since I'm not "allowed" to parent him in any form or fashion, so how can I love that??
I just wanted to say that I
I just wanted to say that I think the way you explained things so your husband is great. You can care about someone's well being and have respect for them without loving them. I have two bio kids and a SD, and I just feel like the world expects you to love your Skids like your own. That's never going to happen for me.
I vented to one person about
I vented to one person about my skids and it totally bit me in the ass. She actually blogged about me so harshly that an anonymous person mailed me a print out of the blog, I was horrified.
Keep that stuff to yourself. People DO NOT understand.
I've never had anyone tell me
I've never had anyone tell me I HAVE to love my skids, not even their father. If someone did I would say they obviously have no idea what they are talking about and to mind their own business.