Child support question
DH and BM agreed on a cs amount outside of court and included it in the court order. She threatens us monthly that she is taking him to court for cs, which whatever. We already pay her a lot of money but here is the thing, BM chooses not to work. She has a masters degree (but is still dumb a dirt) but doesn't work full time because she will loose her government assistance that she receives (food stamps, healthcare, subsidized daycare, and HUD housing.
I know it is possible to have the BM assessed at what she SHOULD be making if she were to work full time. SD is still in daycare full time during the week even when BM is not working so she can't say that she needs to be home with SD that argument will be void with the daycare records. We are avoiding trying to hire an attorney for financial reasons. We really can't afford much more than we are already paying her but I guess if we go to court we will deal with the financial change and we won't have the looming threat over us all the time. Trying to find the silver lining. Has anyone done this?
Oh my gosh. No he pays it
Oh my gosh. No he pays it directly out of his paycheck. It was just a general "we" statement.
When my SO when to court the
When my SO when to court the 2nd time to change the amount of CS (he was waaaay over paying) the judge based CS on BM making minimum wage on a 40hr work week. She didn't work but that was because she's lazy not because she couldn't. SO's lawyer actually asked BM is she was mentally handicapped and was that the reason she couldn't get a minimum wage job.
In my DH 's case he too was
In my DH 's case he too was overpaying way beyond what he should have been every month and any additional extras. He then advised BM they would need to reassess the situation when she got married -not because he wanted to shirk his responsibilities to his son but because he knew she was using the fact that she has a golden uterus and had crotch dropping as a "you owe me for life" ransom.
BM threw a fit and said she would take DH to the CSA, which he advised her not to do as she would end up with even less than the new recalculated amount (of course in her eyes there should have been NO limit to what she is owed). So off she went to the CSA, imagine her horror when the CSA came back with the new amount which was less than HALF of what she had been getting.Best thing she ever did! Its definitely worth getting it recalculated if you are being held at ransom by her whims -remember its pointless negotiating with a terrorist.
Terrorist she is! I don't
Terrorist she is! I don't know if we're paying what we should be paying, they agreed on an amount providing that we provide extras which we do and pay copays which we do, etc. She will more than likely get more out of us but I don't think it will be that much more. All I want is it to be fair. If we have to pay more, then whatever. I know that she won't spend it on the child she will spend it on herself but I can't prove that and the courts don't care anyway.
I just don't think it is fair that she drops SD at daycare does god knows what all day and picks her up and then drops her off at a neighbors while she works in the evenings for 15-20 hours a week. SD is barely with her and now we are going to be expected to pony up when she's skirting the system.
Maybe it's because I am a morale decent person. ExH and I agreed on a child support amount out of court too, we don't even ahve a court order. We sat down like adults and came up with an amount that seems fair. He pays on time, doesn't bitch about it, and I don't gouge him for everything that I could because in my opinion there is no point.
That's true. If nothing else,
That's true. If nothing else, he can throw that at her next time she threatens to take him to court. That might be enough to scare her into silence.
This kind of thing enrages
This kind of thing enrages me. I have nothing against public assistance for those who NEED it, but people like my BM do NOT need it. She has an education that she could be using but she is LAZY and to boot, she's lazy, AND sticks her kids in daycare and goes home to do whatever she wants then constantly cries single mom. SHe has more free time than any mother I know. She has 5 days a week to herself from 7am until 5pm when she is dropping SD off and picking her up. Then she works a few hours in the evening and then comes home puts her kids to bed then she has more free time then every other weekend she has alone. She claims she cannot cook healthy meals for the kids (any meals for that matter they eat mcdonalds all. the. time. With that much free time I'd be a gourmet chef every day!!!
She cries broke. She pays $57.00 for her apartment monthly, only has to pay cable/internet. Her mother pays her car payment and her cell phone bill. She gets CS for SD and she gets SD (plus 10 years of arrears) from her other kids Dad. Just in child support alone she gets $1000.00 plus her cash assistance, food stamps, and whatever she makes from her job. Even if she was making 10 bucks an hour that is still an extra 7-800 bucks a month. Theoreticaly she would have more money than we do because she doesn't have bills or pay for any living expenses. Meanwhile, DH and I work our asses off like most people do to have what we have and be comfortable and I hate the fact that everything is handed to her and then she just keeps putting her hand out for me.
I believe in child support but I really feel like the system is flawed. If I took my ex to court I would easily get another 3-400 a month from him. BUt what for? If I screw him and he's broke then he can't afford to do anything for our kids when he has then and our kids will have to see him struggle and for what, so I can pad my bank account? No thank you!
/rant over. Sorry!!! Lol.
Really?!?! Like BM wouldn't
Really?!?! Like BM wouldn't get child support at all the support would go to the state? Oh myyyy!!! One can only hope my state is like that. Off to hit google!!
My sister is a social worker
My sister is a social worker in Toronto and she says that in Canada welfare doesnt take any child support, but they base the amount of welfare you get based on your child support.
First example, she had a single mother who was getting $2300 a month in child support of 3 kids ( An ex who made alot of money). For some reason this mother wanted to apply for welfare despite the gross amount of CS she gets every month. It comes out of his paycheck bi weekly so it is consistant. Long story short welfare denied her, saying that her child support alone was double the amount that welfare would pay her even if she had no CS.
second example. Another single mother who got around $800 a month in CS. Again consistant payments out of paycheck. She only qualified for $400 of welfare a month since welfare max there is $1200 a month.
Maybe it depends where you are?
I thought NC explicitly
I thought NC explicitly states that new spouse's income is not to be used to calculate payments??
I don't think the step
I don't think the step parents income should ever be considered in the calculation of CS. Luckily my state doesn't do it but I feel bad for those that have to deal with that. It's not the step parents responsibility to financially support skids.
NC CS guidelines say more
NC CS guidelines say more than once that it is not to be used. The only thing Sparents are on the hook for is health insurance through their job.
Maybe you guys could have her
Maybe you guys could have her considered as an "unfit mother" and go for full custody? She obviously can not find a way to care the for child properly with what she has so the custody should go to you...