You are here

How is it for you?

Sambolina1's picture

Submitted by Sambolina1 on Fri, 01/31/2014 - 5:54am

Forums: 
Adult Stepchildren

I have several minor children. Several are young enough they are oblivious to the "drama" and one is young enough to have no memory of adult half siblings. We've lived far apart geographically for some time, and with this rift, well, the emotional divide is more of a challenge then the geographic one.
So sadly (or not) the adult steps just come up more and more infrequently. They just aren't part of our everyday lives...and since I'm disengaged I make zero effort to introduce or interject them there as I did in the olden days.
My question is this. What is the relationship like with your bio kids and the adult steps? As your bios got older, were they able to have a relationship with them separate from you and their dad? Is it sincere and open, or is there always an undercurrent of tension because bios are the spawn of the evil witch (that would be me! Smile ) What does the relationships look like? How do you, as a parent "on the outs" with the steps handle said relationship? What boundaries are in place? What are your adult bio's take on the situation?

mannin's picture

Submitted by mannin on Fri, 01/31/2014 - 11:32am

My story is a bit reversed. I'm 35 with way younger siblings. I have no relationship with any of them. One sister was adopted out of the family (maternal side) and when I finally met her a couple years ago, it was horribly disappointing - she's a mini me of our mother.

I tried to have a relationship with my other sister (paternal), who is now 18, but she's a drama queen like her mother. I disengaged from my father's wife over a decade ago. She gave me a photo of her, my sister, and my father with a card that said I needed to move on and not seek a relationship with my father. The role of "daughter" was filled.

A couple years ago, my father's wife told me that if I wanted a relationship with my father or my sister (I also have a brother who is 12), I was "required" to have a relationship with her. I refuse to do so. She's abusive, manipulative, and a classic narcissist.

Since, I didn't grow up with these siblings, I don't miss them or feel like I'm missing out.