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What age is ok to leave SD home alone?

proudstepmommy's picture

Ok so my DH and I have SD10 for 1/2 of the summer (really most of the summer cause BM apparently needs a vacation from being a mom).

Lately our sitter, DH's grandma, who has watched SD since she was an infant, has had some minor health issues and has become somewhat unreliable.

We're facing a very real issue of either trying to find someone that could be "on call" to watch SD or run the risk of taking SD to work (BM is not an option). I've taken SD to work with me a few times, but usually on days that are slow or I don't have any meetings (DH cannot take her to work). Unfortunately all of our ther relatives are either working themselves or have too many health issues to watch her.

Some advice would be greatly appreciated.

Craving Normality's picture

I personally think 10 is too young, and in my country I think 12 is the legal age that a child can be left home alone. My 9DD visits friends when I am working and she is not at school, but I expect this would not be an option for you because her friends probably don't live in your district.

Crazy_in_Ohio's picture

This link will help you determine what the laws are in your state (assuming you're in the US)

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

I was staying home alone at 8 and babysitting my two youngers brothers, but that was over 30 years ago in a different time.

My son is 10 and he's been staying for short bursts for the last year or so - once or twice a week after school for an hour and a half or so.

This summer, when he's not at summer camp or VBS or on vacation or whatever, he's staying at home by himself for up to four to five hours at a time.

My son is pretty mature for his age and is a very confident child who is capable of making food for himself, following instructions and checking in on time. He has a list rules and of things he's to do each day - so it's pretty mapped out for him so he doesn't get bored and then follow up his boredom with agitation and possibly getting fearful. He has to check in with me multiple times a day as well. Some people don't agree with my decision, but his dad is on board with it and all of his grandparents are aware -as are two very trusted neighbors who stay at home during the day.

You have to determine if she's responsible and capable and then make sure to put all the right pieces in place for her.

Oh heck - edited to add that I just noticed you're in Ohio and I am too. Ohio has no legal age at which a child can stay home alone - so obviously you have to use your best judgement and not rely on the law. You are held responsible with whatever your child does or gets into.

PeanutandSons's picture

Hmmmm, I live in FL and that chart says I can't leave a kid home alone until they are 18.

Probably pretty accurate for my skids.....

Crazy_in_Ohio's picture

yeah i thought "HOly shit Florida, you might as well keep your child glued to your thigh." The link they reference is broken, so I'm assuming there's probably verbiage in there on how you're responsible for them til their 18 but you have to use your best judgement. Who knows.

I know my SO's daughter isn't responsible enough to not be an idiot, so she won't be home alone any time soon.

Last year in the summer she and her brother stayed home together for a while and she called me no less than 10 times a day over the most idiotic of stuff. "Umm can I have some crackers?" "Um how long shold it take for the toilet to the flush?" "Umm I think the water is too hot in the tea kettle". Just Ridiculous!

RedWingsFan's picture

I agree with the above, it's all about whether or not the child is responsible and trustworthy and what age is legal in your state.

I was watching my younger brother at age 10 for a few hours every day after school and most of the day all summer long, but I was extremely responsible.

My DD who is now 15, has also been staying home alone all day since age 10, but she's extremely responsible.

Stepdevil14? I wouldn't trust her alone for 5 fucking minutes. She's immature, disobedient and has proven that she cannot be trusted. Point in case: DH and I left her for 30 minutes once and had told her right as we walked out the door NOT to light any candles (we have tons around the apartment) and NOT to start a fire in the fireplace. NO fires of any kind and don't use the stove. We were only going to be gone for a half hour so we figured she'd be ok. She was 13 at the time. We got home and ALL the candles were lit and she was throwing papers from her school bag into a fire in the fireplace. Yeah, that was the last time we ever let her stay home alone.

proudstepmommy's picture

Thank you everyone for the advice.

When I was her age I was babysitting younger family members... she's not 100% responsible... but she is dependable. We're working on her being more responsible for things. She knows how to make basic food items. I'm sure if we really were in a bind, SD could stay at our house and DH could run by at lunch (he works 10 min. away from home compared to my 35 min. away) and check on her. Although, we may have to figure out something in the mean time for the rest of this summer... oy!

Step-Volgirl's picture

My DS is 11 and our "new summer" routine is this: He'll stay up until about midnight or so and sleep until 9-10 each morning. My DH and I are gone by 8-8:30 for work. I'll pick him around lunch time. He's alone for about 5 hours each day. We have a landline and we'll have a "check-in" every few hours. The first week, my mom popped in a few times in the morning as well. We haven't had any problems yet.