I care for my girlfriend dearly, we seem to be a great match, but her 4 year old son has behavior and attitude problems I cannot tolerate. I am an extremely patient man, my whole life that has been my virtue, however this kid seems like he was made in a lab specifically to counter my patience. I raised my sister and nieces and nephews my entire life and I know how to deal with difficult kids, so it isn't a thing about not having patience for children. It's only him and his rotten behavior. To be honest I hold contempt for him and resent his presence. Let me elaborate on his behavior so you don't think I'm just plain evil. He's prone to tantrums constantly, he cries for any and everything. He is disrespectful, rude, loud, obnoxious, undisciplined. He refuses and flat out ignores his mother when she speaks to him and tells him to settle down. He is very manipulative. He has a younger sister who is a year and a half, she is well behaved and minds her own, but he constantly takes her toys away making her cry just because he wants what she has ALWAYS. He is very attention seeking, constantly being loud, calling for his mom for anything. You constantly have to tell him to be quiet, stop fighting with his sister, stop being rude. He whines and cries for any and everything if it doesn't go his way or if he doesn't get what he wants with stomping and throwing himself on the ground. When he does go on timeout, he cries loudly for his mom all the time until his mom takes him out of it, which is a whole 5 minutes. He always thinks he can talk himself out of things by saying "I'm ready to listen" which his mom always falls for, even though he's at it again in less than 5 minutes, repeat process over and over and over. He constantly fights with his sister even hitting her and kicking her in the face, and that gets the same punishment as a tantrum. Yes, he ALWAYS provokes it, even though his mother says his sister does start with her brother also (she doesn't, it just seems like the mom's way of making her brat seem like less of a demon child... plus the girl is only 1yo). He gets all his mom's attention, constantly blurting out nonsensical words loudly because he knows his mom will celebrate it. He won't listen when you tell him to stop jumping on you. He makes a mess and talks back constantly, just by being plain disrespectful towards anyone who tells him he's wrong. I really could go on for days. In my opinion the mom is to blame for this as she always buys him what he wants. Instead of punishing the brat, she tries to talk to him about his behavior which never works, He talks back, refuses to potty (At age 4!). His sister always gets the short end of the stick attention wise, material wise, entertainment wise (she'll get the brat something, but not the baby. When the baby starts to act restless she just takes her to her crib in her room for hours and make her cry it out, but he can be a brat all day wherever he wants for as long as he wants) so she thinks I'm just targeting him. Me and my lady have gotten into spats after I point out the futility of her techniques on him and how he manipulates, and quite frankly he listens to me more than her because I am stern and don't fall for his tricks. Once I made him sit in the toilet for three hours until he went potty because I was tired of him manipulating his mom to let him poop in his diaper (he's 4!), and another time he had no toys, tv or anything he enjoyed for a whole day because of his rotten behavior. Plus once I put him on time out, telling him if he likes crying so much, he can cry as much as he wants because it's only gonna make him stay on timeout even more (a whopping 6 hours). He stopped his whining. But when she's around, or not sleeping, he's a demon who can't be reigned. It takes consistency and she often saves him from his proper punishment. His mother doesn't believe in spankings and isn't stern enough too, letting his bratty behavior slide. It's affecting the relationship because often I pass on seeing her because of the dread of dealing with him (which is always) and he's like this from the moment I see him until I leave. I leave that house relieved to be away from him, and just thinking about him or seeing his face fills me with anger. I'm re-evaluating my relationship with his mother because of him. She is honestly one of the best things to happen to me, but on the flip side he truly is one of the worst things to happen to me. I'm tired of having talks with her about him and if things don't start to change with her ways of discipline within two weeks, I'm gone. Which I really don't want to do because I do love her and truly want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I also refuse to deal with him and risking his sister turning out just like him making it double bad for me, or rearing a child while his horrible presence is influence. That's where I'm at any thoughts?