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What part of no money can you not get?

Smomof3's picture

I know this is petty, but good grief...

Had my SD15 this weekend and she brought some friends for a slumber party Sat. night. Our fridge went out Sat. morning. I had to buy a fridge, not cheap. She wanted me to take everyone for fast food prior to going home after picking up the girls. I explained that everything in the fridge would go bad, if I couldn't find an affordable new one and have it delivered that day, and that we would be going home and they could have frozen pizza, chips, sandwiches, etc. She wasn't happy, so then she asked if I wouldn't take them out to eat would I buy them all hair dye to do each other's hair? I had to explain again, i have to buy a fridge, it's expensive, NO.

So fridge is delivered, set up and everything is fine, I thought. The girls kept whispering something and my SS14 finally explained that they thought I was mean and cheap because I wouldn't take them to Taco Bell. Good Lord, the sense of entitlement. I had a house full of junk for them to eat. Then they were complaining because we wouldn't take them to the movies...watch net flix. I explained in no uncertain terms that the refridgerator took all of our ready cash and we would be staying home all weekend. (there had been no plan to go anywhere anyway)

Sunday, I felt better and less irritated until lunch. I made beef stew, yeast rolls and chocolate cake for lunch. Thinking they'd had so much garbage the day before a decent meal would be better for them. Again she asked for fast food. I finally went off on SD15... "What part of we just spent all of my money on a fridge do you not get?" DH finally stepped in and told her to appreciate what she had. We could be eating bologna sandwiches all weekend.

This is what she does to BM and she eventually caves and lets her do whatever she wants. So needless to say BM called last night to find out why I was so mean...really, why are you raising your kid to act like an entitled jackass. My husband dealt with it and that was great, but boy I'd like to give her and the kid a piece of my mind.

oldone's picture

She's 15 not 5. If you want to give her a piece of your mind do so.

I'd have no trouble telling my niece to knock it off if she was being an effing brat. And I'd do it in front of her friends if I had to.

They must have made up the stuff about wanting to all dye their hair. That sounds so stupid. I'm a grown adult and even I would not ask someone if I could dye my hair (way too messy) at their home.

As for the BM - you can say ANYTHING you want to to her. Personally I just would never say a word to her - that's the relationship I have with BM.

ltman's picture

You can lay it out on paper, you can tell them in detail what it is and means to live within a budget but until they actually have to do it, teens generally have no clue.

The funniest thing to watch is when they get their first paycheck and wants to know who the hell is FICA and why are they pulling money out of their check. This will be followed by 'I could't have used $75 worth of water' when they receive their first utility bill. Now that's entertainment!

Orange County Ca's picture

When my step-daughter started taking half hour + showers I would turn off the gas to the water heater. She had 40 gallons of hot water to mix with the cold but when the hot was gone it was gone with no warning. No getting cooler and cooler to give warning. The showers dropped to 15 minutes.

Kids just don't care what your financial problems are. It's not a conscious thought but hey they didn't ask to be here and are entitled to anything they can get by asking. So they ask. Almost all parents have to deal with this and its unfortunate the BM isn't doing so because the girl will get a horrible shock when the world demonstrates that it just doesn't care about her.

Step-Volgirl's picture

The whole asking for more and more and more and then calling you mean for saying no to each request..... if you substitute the age and money, it boils down to a temper tantrum and needs to be dealt with as one.

Smomof3's picture

She's just not a pleasant child unless you are doing something for her, exactly the way she wants it, with unlimited funds. Everything is a travesty of injustice against her personally.

Her brother is 14 and says this, "She'll never be happy, it's just the way she is." He's right and her brothers have quit trying to make her happy or worrying about why she's not. It's just her personality.

Our BM is an idiot who lives off the government.

Scratching My Head Now's picture

My husband & I are spending all our money on lawyers getting custody of one of his kids. he's 16 & can say where he wants to live BUT the bio mother has mental illness so she doesn't want to give up on the child support or the ss money she gets for the kids. She is abusive, etc. So i thought it was my duty to help rescue the kid.

Well 1 year of heavy lawyer fees, 2 restraining orders, additional monthly expenses, etc later---he was opening his bedroom window WIDE open every night in winter while our huge heating expense (we live in New York---as in hurricane sandy, etc) kept growing & growing. We asked him to stop, if hot take the comforter off etc. Then we started yelling. Then we took TV out of his room. Finally, after all his melt downs, all our huge heating bills, we closed the radiator in his room so there is no heat in there that will escape to continuously kick up the thermostat for 8 hours in the night. He has complained & i don't care. He is 16--not 6---he is adult enough to understand this. I was 17 when i moved out as a kid & I paid my own bills so no one is getting sympathy for being 16 from me anymore.

I see this now w/ the lawyer bills. SS doesn't appreciate what I've done for him. He doesn't see what money I've laid out. YET he resents me & has started acting out with name calling, being lazy, etc. WELL if he doesn't care about the money, then he won't care about me sending my money---rather than paying for anymore of his lawyer fees---I will instead send to my bio daughter who's working full time & going to college & paying her own rent.

Enough is enough. If he won't get with the program here, he can go back to his psycho bio mom till he's 18.

Smomof3's picture

We had her for a year and she just manipulated us to get away from her BM and then manipulated BM to get away from us. There is no winning with some people and she's one of them. She's not appreciative or thankful for anything.

Smomof3's picture

We had her for a year and she just manipulated us to get away from her BM and then manipulated BM to get away from us. There is no winning with some people and she's one of them. She's not appreciative or thankful for anything.