need advice please
So I have a SD6 and a BD3..for most of the part my SD behaves good. But lately I've notice that she is destroying my daughter's toys for no reason. I've let it past because I want no problems with DH. But it just got plain evil. A friend of mine made my daughter a bracelet out of beads and the plastic pink, my daughter was so happy with it because she loves lil things like that. Well two weekens ago SD came along and destroyed it. I only found ou because I was cleaning my daughter's room and found beads loose and the plastic pink thing tide to some other toy. Now my daughter is 3 and cant tied things. I know its just a lil plastic bracelet andit shouldnt matter but why would she do that.
Now Christmas past my daughter has brand new toys and im thinking to hide her new toys the weekens she is here and just let her play with the other toys. My daughter doesnt have a lot of toys she mostly has stuff animal, she loves them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. ..thanks
You may be right maybe this
You may be right maybe this is just a age thing and will pass..havent had much issues with her she is a very good lil girl..we call them sisters and have no problem with that. This just started happening this year and we have had many issues with the Bio mother dnt know if she is getting any love or discipline over at her mother..she just have birth to a baby and already has a lil girl only months older.
I have a 5 year old grandson
I have a 5 year old grandson he is an angel. EXCEPT when it comes to his 2 year old brother. He takes things off him. Won't share with him. Excludes him when he has a friend over. I guess it's a power thing. Don't know but I do know they all do it. Mum and dad are onto it though. He's not allowed to get away with it. Kids do this.
Without knowing anything about your situation if be loathe to give advice on how you handle the child.
I would perhaps suggest to you not to stress to much as long as she is not hurting your child. You cannot however just ignore it. There would have been no harm in you perhaps sitting down with her and getting her to restring the bracelet. Or help her to make a new one for the three year old. That done maybe another day help her to make one for herself. She needs to know you see it and there needs to be some consequence.
She may be feeling pushed out herself.
Why are you afraid to involve DH in this.
Your right. Im a young home
Your right. Im a young home of my bio and having an older SD with new experience that I dnt know about. I dnt want him involve because he thinks she is too sensitive and will cry with him over everything. She tried it with me and it didnt work so she doesnt cry with me over spill milk.
I do think she feeld left out over at her mothers house. She had a baby last year and just delivered a new one. Because she was a good lil girl until this year.
How can you be sure your kid
How can you be sure your kid didn't accidently break it and be afraid to admit it? I know its difficult for some parents to comprehend but it is possible for your kid to lie to you.
Hiding the new toys can't do any harm except I suppose your kid will eventually tell his kid that they exist.
How about a video camera in a room when his kid is left alone with a not-so-cherished toy and see how she treats it? Then you can show your husband and discuss ways to handle this. Keep in mind it could be nothing but plain jealousy - not plain evil. In the end these are kids and kids have to be taught how to handle their emotions. We're born animals but what differs for us is a long, long span of time to learn the ways of civilized people.
I know my D3 didnt do it
I know my D3 didnt do it becaus she loved it..I had to fight her to take it off for bed and every morniing she would want it one. This was two weeks like this so I thought it was weird that one morning she didnt ask to put it on.
I already hide some toys of hers not to be mean or anything but to recycle them so they can actually play with them. Dnt know about a camera maybe if it gets out of control I will.
I dnt know how this age is
I dnt know how this age is supposed to act. I dnt know if its just a passing thing or if she is really doing it to be mean. They are allowed to play in the room with the door open and its off the living area so I can hear anything they say and see thek too. They sleep in the same room and the door doesnt lock to avoid any problems with my BD. (She already managed to lock her self in the restroom)
Im really hoping its just a passing thing because she is a good lil girl with a kind heart.
She's only 7. She's been
She's only 7. She's been pushed out by mums new baby and she has your little one she has to share with. It's a lot for her. She will sense your apprehension and smell your fear. She won't know exactly what your thinking so she's probably thinking you don't like her.
She is not killing animals or spinning her head around like something from the exorcist. She is basically doing crap stuff like breaking a headed bracelet that you can insist she help you repair. Just make the punishment fit the crime.
Try not to read too much into it. Perhaps try looking at it like this. If she were your bio daughter and the 3 year old was your step daughter. What would you have done to your 6 year old over this
Your DH is not being fair. Please don't resent the 6 year old for that.
It is hard taking on an older child when you have no experience with that age group. Hang in there. She sounds normal. She has had major changes in her life and two little ones to contend with
That bring said she cannot just destroy anyone's stuff and walk away. She can help fix it Or wash the dishes to help pay for it. There are lots of little ways you can work WITH her on this. I know it's not fair. Dad should be doing it. But if he is at work, then it's going to have to be you'd rules. If he doesn't like that. Then he's going to have to change his hours. You do not need the added stress of having to worry about what he thinks either he trusts you with his child or not. If he doesn't. Then he works around get visits. If he does then you handle things your way. He cannot dictate from the workplace.f
But if these kids were both your biological daughters you'd get mad at the older one and you'd get over it in a second. You would not be trying to look for something sinister in it. And you'd be right to do so.
When she starts sticking pins in a voodoo doll of someone or stringing up cats. You've got a problem Meantime, you've got a normal kid that you don't feel confident with because you are worrying about upsetting dad. Sort this out with dad. He's your real problem. You need his support and trust. Not his disapproval. And not advice and instructions from his workplace.
You will be ok. You basically like her. You just don't have enough confidence in yourself. It will come.
Kiddie scissors, those are
Kiddie scissors, those are fun. My 4 year old cut the 3 year olds hair with kiddie scissors. A huge big patch right out of the front. It couldn't be disguised or hidden. It just had to grow out.
Mind you that was 33 years ago, seems I am still harbouring a grudge doesn't it.
Kids do things to kids, whether they be bios or steps. They're just kids. CheriWilson is right. Your 3 year old may have broken the bracelet. I read you said it had been tied up somewhere and that is why you think the older one did it as your three your old can't tie things up so you're probably right. But again, you say she is basically a good kid. I think if you have the attitude that she is basically a good kid, I'd trust you to discipline her. NO, hot tar and feathers are out. We all at times would like to do it, but NO. It leaves a mess on the carpet anyway, the kids dob, and the smell of tar lingers.
Not that I've tried it mind you.