Step son want to use step fathers last name
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almost three years ago my wife had her ex's visitation suspened because of his mental illness. he was suppose to by court order get an evaluation, still has not in three years. since then we have had twins and with my two older boys and our teins his last name isnt the same. with what i have found we have to have ex husbands ok to change or adopt, can he just use my last name as a alias without going thru the courts and stirring up anything. she doesnt want to get him involved what can we do legally
He could just start "using"
He could just start "using" it, but it wouldn't be official. It wouldn't be in school records, driver's license, etc.
I've done both a stepparent adoption and name changes. (My kids chose to use my maiden name following my divorce from their father.)
For a name change, you need a notarized, signed affidavit by the non-petitioning parent in my jurisdiction.
For a stepparent adoption, you need either the other parent's "ok" or you must petition the court to approve against the parent's wishes (not easy.)
Most importantly, does SS WANT to use your last name? He would be asked in open court if it's his desire...for both the name change and the adoption.
He can change his name to whatever he wants when he's 18.
Get a lawyer, have them send
Get a lawyer, have them send him asking for permission, an attorney I work with is doing this now, the family has no contact with the Bio-Dad the Bio-Dad is having to go through us with all communication.
Every place is different but
Every place is different but I have some personal experience with this. My brother changed his last name to my aunt/uncles last name. My dad hates it and while my bro is in jail he refuses to write that last name on his mail... but I digress. My brother made that decision when he was 15 or 16 I believe. He did not have to have my dads permission (he would have fought it) or even my moms. My aunt/uncle had custody at the time. Now this happened in virginia. I would suggest looking up the laws online, calling a lawyer, or calling legal aid. They have a free helpline you can get by calling the courthouse.
But your DH is the bio
But your DH is the bio father. That's a little different. Alabama is supposed to be pro BM but they will change a child last name to the bio fathers against the mothers wishes.
Every state and school
Every state and school district is different. Ask the school if they can use a "AKA" in his records and the teachers use his requested name.
My oldest boy did that and it just killed me emotionally. Perhaps this is different considering the mental illness but does the father really deserve this? If not explain to the boy why and the emotional pain for dad. Remember dad is not responsible for his illness anymore than if he had polio. Try to help the boy understand this.
The boy can legally change his name to Santa Claus if he wishes at age 18 and its fairly simple with paperwork found on-line.
My DH would love to change
My DH would love to change SS's last name to his and even change his first name (it's an ethnic name that sounds like a girl's name and SS gets teased to death over it). We were told BM would have to approve and so would SS, so he hasn't tried to do it.
I'm interested in finding out how others have gotten it done against BM's wishes. In our state, she has to sign the form and if she doesn't sign, then it won't be considered. DH is so pissed off BM didn't give SS the first name that they had agreed to and his last name. But he didn't think there was anything he could do about it.