Tell your DH you are not the babysitter, you have to work yourself. Let him deal w BM. Do not take the kids if she appears with them.

Child support should always be paid thru the courts for exactly this reason. Sorry since it is done, but live and learn I guess.

P.s. if I were 29 again, I would find someone who does want a child with you honey. I waited too late and have none, it is wrong what he is telling you to accept. Hugs dear

I feel for you sweetie. I really do. It sounds to me like you and your fiance are not on the same page. You want kids and he doesn't. That sounds like a deal breaker to me! How important is it to you to have children? Think long and hard about this before you get married! If being a mom (not step mom) is in your heart...will you resent him in the end? You are going to hate me for saying this, but you are only 29! There are other fish in the sea and you are plenty young enough to catch one that is more fit for you.
As for babysitting, I don't blame you for saying no. In fact, my husband is in charge of finding a babysitter for SD if he is not going to be home. Sometimes he can't find one so I will have to step up, but he must at least try. This will be the rest of your life if you marry this man!! Please think about it!! IMHO (and I am a real bitch...not typical of my gender), a man coming in with that much baggage better damn well make sure he is worth it!!! I am starting to learn that no man is worth the drama!! That is just coming from my bad experience, poor attitude and shit for luck. Be honest, open and clear with him from the very beginning and it is possible. I just feel that if you stay with him, you will end up compromising your own happiness for someone that (seems) marginally worth it.

You are so not wrong for feeling the way you do. It's ridiculous of your husband and/or his ex to expect you to watch the kids for them. You're not a nanny. I am concerned though about you marrying someone who says he doesn't want children because he's afraid you two will divorce and he'll have to pay for cs. You're young and if you want children of your own then you every right to become a mother. That being said, I'm sure you love him very much and want to be with him so I truly hope he changes his mind about you two having children of your own.

My DH often makes me feel like I'm wrong about things too. I think it's just how he tries to win an argument. He turns it all around on me. You have every right to say no to watching his kids while his ex parties and he's working. You have 3 jobs and that alone should be enough for him to make other arrangements.

Stay well hidden and do not answer the door. That will solve today's problem. Don't answer the phone either.

As for the 7.5 years you have invested, well if you do not make a move now it will be 17.5 years and your hopes of having children will be gone forever. This man has had his children, you have not. I think sooner or later this is going to get to you and you will leave anyway. So, why not now. My daughter is 36 and having her third child, she was 32 when she had her first, all are well and healthy, but she is married to a man who wants children, you are not. So, you may find yourself still childless in your 30's.

Relationships are about compromise, and trust. Your BF says he cannot afford to have a child with you and then you take him for CS. Doesn't show much trust does it. After 7.5 years he thinks you cannot be trusted, and you will not always be around. His thinking is very different from yours.

I have found out something fairly recently and I am almost 60 - sometimes there are people in your life that cannot, or will not change. Right or Wrong it is their way or no way. Now, if this is what you want in your life, beautiful, invest more time with someone who has trust issues, 2 kids that he dumps on you, and refuses to have children with you, therefore denying you the chance of ever carrying, giving birth to, and holding your very own beautiful baby. I learnt that my DH is a very selfish man, who wants everything to be his way, and now I have decided to look after ME first and him second. You see, for all the years we have been together I have always put him first. Now, I really didn't get any thanks for that, and worse still he allowed his kids to tread me like a piece of dog poo they had stepped in.

I don't know your BF, but the idea of him getting mad because you don't want to mind his kids and work three jobs, so he and their mother don't have to put themselves out, sounds very much my husband's attitude to me when I didn't do things his way.

I have three grown children of my own, and I am now in the process of looking after me and making plans for my future, with or without him. May I respectively suggest you give this relationship some very serious thought. Right now you are only 29, from my end of things, nothing more than a baby. Pretty soon in 2.5 years actually, you will have invested 10 years in this relationship. Do you see yourself getting anything YOU WANT out of it. I wish you all the best. Please really think this over not in terms of years invested, but in terms of what you want out of life. At 29 the world is still your oyster. I didn't wake up until 6 months ago, and as I said I will be 60 this year. Do not see 60 just around the corner, find yourself childless (and I assure his kids will not look after you in your old age), and think I wish I had listened to the people who said leave and have your family with a man who wants children. Good Luck Hon. Sorry you find yourself in this position.

DO NOT OPEN THAT DOOR - DO NOT TAKE HIS CALLS. LET HIM AND THEIR MOTHER WORK IT OUT. SEND THEM TO GRANDMA'S IF THEY HAVE TO, NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

Annoyed1, I didn't want to say what tough as nails has just said, because I am twice her age and you would just think "what do I know, I wouldn't understand" But now that she has said it,I will add this.....She is 100% right.

when fdh and i were discussing having a baby, he told me he didn't want any more kids (he only had sd) and that he didn't want to have a baby and make sd feel more left out than she already did. i came unglued. i told him that it is not MY fault that he and bm aren't together. it is not MY fault that he only has her eowe (i say "only" very lightly, as those weekends were far too frequent for my liking). i told him i would not have a 14 year old kid deciding if i could have another baby or not. i let him know that if we wanted different things out of life, there was no point in being together, and that i was NOT giving up my dream of having another child for him. i told him i had given up enough for other people in my life, and a baby was something i was not budging on. a year later i was pregnant for bs3. }:) so i won that fight!

don't give up your dreams for anyone else. how would you feel if you and dh split up in the future, with you having had no kids, and being past childbearing age or some other reason for not being able to have kids anymore? no man is worth giving up your dreams for. he got to have kids and you don't get a say in it. don't let him dictate this huge life decision for you.

GOOD GIRL, well done, I'm proud of you.

YOU TOTALLY ROCK!!!!! Good on you girl!

So did fdh think that the kids wouldn't mention to bm that they didn't see him at all that week? He doesn't want to tell her that he's working out of town, but she's obviously going to figure it out as soon as she picks her kids back up. Pretty sure her first question as she's pulling out of your driveway would have been "so what did you and dad do this week?"

There is no law stating that you have to answer your door. Screw 'em.

You have no obligation to watch your fiance's children. If you don't want to, you don't have to. It is up to your fiance and his ex to figure out what they're going to do with their kids.

If he has told you point blank that he doesn't want anymore children, and you desperately want a child of your own I would rethink your situation. If my DH wouldn't have wanted anymore children, it would've been a deal breaker for me. That's not something I was willing to compromise on.