Called DH and asked him to come fix a flat tire for her - she was stranded outside of a bar. The skids were with us. He did not go.

Asked DH to drive her to school after she got a DUI, but had no problem getting rides to the bar. DH took her to school once (after he asked me if I minded), then told her to figure it out from then on - she threw a fit, threatened to quit school, told him he was hurting the skids in the long run. She did fine on her own - finished school, got a job in her field, and got fired after six months for missing so many days.

Asked DH to pay her electric bill (electric was out). DH had done this before me "for the kids", but due to the fact that BM had been out at a bar the night before, DH told her he would just come get skids and we would keep them until electric gets turned back on. She called a few hours later - electric is back.

DH and I used to have completely different views regarding what is "for the kids" and what isn't. I had to explain to him how he was not doing BM any favors or the skids (both girls) by bailing BM out every time. Allow BM to deal with problems herself - to be independent - and to see how that would make her a better role model for the skids in the process.

Oh brother...she wants a husband without being married to him. After my DH and BM were first divorced, that's how it was with them. She wouldn't actually ask him to do anything herself because she won't talk to him at all (BLESSING). They had their house up for sale and she was still living in it with the skids. It was on 25 acres, and the housing market crashed, so it took quite awhile. He was paying the mortgage on that, propane heat, and he was renting a house to live in. They finally sold the house at a HUGE reduction. He got nothing.

Now, the things she wants "for the kids" usually have to do with parenting time. She wants DH to give up time, of course because it's "what SS wants".

She expects DH to fix SD's truck (that DH's dad gave SD).

She expects DH to do all the pick up and drop off.

She expects DH to pay for many extras, school clothes, etc., even though he pays a large amount of CS.

She signs SS up for camp or other activities and expects DH to pay, even if it's on HIS parenting time. She actually signed SS up for a camp this summer which started on Father's Day, because "SS wanted to go". She did this without consulting DH. We never did celebrate Father's Day. I keep waiting for the skids to step up and mention it, but they won't.

She just keeps telling SS that everything is his choice. Ummmm, no, he's a 13 year old kid, he doesn't get that many choices. Of course, she tells him what he "wants" (what she wants), so DH is the bad guy when he doesn't give in.

Blah!!

At first my DH would go over and mow the lawn and do other things (he still jointly owned the house). But gradually he pulled back--she even expected him to fix the roof (and pay for it of course). He was finally able to sever the role of Mr Fix it that had driven him to divorce (he did EVERYTHING she did NOTHING) and said, "your house, you fix it." It was a happy day when she refinanced and got him off the note. He was so afraid of being sued if one of the underage partyers there got killed after drinking on her watch. She had no rules and the kids ran wild while she was out being a teenager again (at age 50).

That is demeaning to you! They are divorced. I'm sick of everyone always saying "It's for the kids, it's for the kids". The truth is, Adults are important too! Adults are still growing as people too and if you don't take care of yourself, how can you be anything for any kid?

My DH's hooker requests all kind of extra money in addition to the exorbitant amount of child support we already pay. Sounds like your DH's ex is realizing just how hard life can be without a man around. I never knew how hard it is for men to stand up and say "NO MORE!" They just want to fix things and take the least confrontational way out. They need us to help them understand.

It is inappropriate for him to ever go help her with anything, unless by some miracle of God that the relationship between ALL OF YOU is very, very pleasant.

Our BM asked us to pay half of her plane ticket to go out and visit sick SD (23) and half of her expenses while out there because it was for SD's health.

I forgot the best one - she asked us to continue paying alimony after she got remarried for the adult children! Without it she wouldn't be able to give them as many things.

Not too much to complain of.
Although after we married and were in the process of looking for a house he told her that she needed to remortgage the house because he wanted his VA loan certificate for his new house.
She complained that the boys would end up without a roof over their liddle widdle heads and really it would be better if he just let her continue to have the VA Loan facility and when the boys turned 18 she would remortgage then. She was quite obstructive about the whole thing.
It wasn't until DH sent her a highlighted copy of the divorce decree that stated that she had to show him evidence of 5 applications for refinancing EVERY year and told her that if she was so concerned about the boys and their happiness she should have worked harder at saving their marriage. And he would be damned if she was reaping the benefits of being his wife when she didn't want that privilege anymore. And if the boys needed a home we would have a perfectly adequate home with us.
She refinanaced within a week.

My DH had been divorced from his children's mother for over 20 years when I married him. He had nothing nice to say about her but there was continual contact between them since all his adult daughters and their children lived in the same house with their mom.[the ex]
I was fuming when he decided she needed to have her house rewired completely from attic to basement. She would not have known this but he insisted her house would require rewiring and he insisted he would do it for her for free.[For the safety of all the children and grandchildren.] Ex never bothered to tell him that the house was up for sheriff auction befor he did all that work. I told him after he finished the job. I had known befor he started but he needed to see just how rediculous it was to be insisting he do for her when she never asked.

Raise their 3 children without her assistance or support. When we got together he had been a single father for 9 years raising the kids alone. She skipped town with a man she met on the Internet. She's back in town now but provides no assistance or support.

Uhmm.... this is tough - there have been so many little things but I guess the biggest one was the following:

BM was angry that she had to pay to move the "trailer" she bought for SS 36 from land she placed it on originally that she did not own when the land owner kicked her out and she had to buy another piece of property and pay for improvements to this piece of land for the trailer to be moved there. SD 35 actually informed me of this and implied that H and I should have to help BM pay to move BM's trailer - because she was letting SS 36 live in the trailer - SD 25 said it wasn't "fair" that her mother had to pay!!!!!

I didn't pay attention to the stink eye looks I recieved from SD 35 on this because
1. I would never invest in a trailer and did not - It was BMs (neither myself nor my husband will give BM another penny.
2. I did not feel that I needed to help lazy greedy middle aged SS by buying him a home - he should have rented like others do
3. I would never be stupid enough to make improvments to someone else's land or to place a trailer on land I did not own --- duhhhh.
4. If BM makes bad investment decisions it should NOT affect me at all!!!

Like I said not the sharpest tools....

Uhmm.... this is tough - there have been so many little things but I guess the biggest one was the following:

BM was angry that she had to pay to move the "trailer" she bought for SS 36 from land she placed it on originally that she did not own when the land owner kicked her out and she had to buy another piece of property and pay for improvements to this piece of land for the trailer to be moved there. SD 35 actually infomred me of this and implied that H and I should have to help BM pay to move BM's trailer - because she was letting SS 36 live in the trailer.

I didn't pay attention to the stink eye looks I recieved from SD 35 on this because
1. I would never invest in a trailer and did not - It was BMs ( and neither myself nor my husband will give BM another penny.
2. I did not feel that I needed to help lazy greedy middle aged SS by buying him a home - he should have rented like others do
3. I would never be stupid enough to make improvments to someone else's land or to place a trailer on land I did not own --- duhhhh.
4. If BM makes bad investment decisions it should NOT affect me at all!!!

Like I said not the sharpest tools....

We have SS9 & SD7 living here, in TX, with us...somehow, BM Nasty decided that once the CO kicked in & she started having her wages garnished for CS, that it would be best for the children (that she DOES NOT HAVE) if we sent her CS payments back to her. Apparently, her argument was that SO & I should be able to support them & it would be best for the kids if she had money left after her bills. She was living with her parents at the time & had no bills aside from car insurance & cell phone.

I'm still confused as to how this is related to the kids...really, I am!

Why are your steps driving cars and not working? I am assuming if they can't pay their own registrations, etc. They don't have jobs to pay for it? Seriously? I've been working my ars off since I was 15 (on a workers permit) had to buy my own car...pay for everything ( I bet my parents would have footed bills if I would have asked...but I felt like I was achieving something on my own) Kids now aren't getting their first freaking job until they are 19/20 I don't get it. I've already told the girls they are getting jobs...and saving for everything and college. Probably braces too since I feel like they are cosmetic.

When I first came into the picture my DH was doing things for BM too, for the sake of the children. I put an end to that one.

1. BM wanted him to put Xmas lights on her house.

2. Had him stay with the skids at her house while she was out purchasing a "refrigerator". More like...watch the kids while I go out and fuck someone. Meanwhile, I'm patiently waiting for him to come home so I can spend some intimate time with him.

3. Has him moving her brand new flat screen t.v. in her house.

4. BM refuses to pay any copays even though the CO states she's to pay 35%.

5. Complains that we had the CS lowered a few years ago and that she barely has enough money to make ends meet. Apparently when you make 73k annually, tax free, with no mortgage is not enough money and if it isn't...try getting a job!

6. Can some tell me the difference between a single, stay at home BM and a prostitute? BM does not work, collects CS and Death benefits from a deceased spouse (whom she married because he was dying), has another child with a different guy and gets money from him. No mortgage, drives 2 Lincoln's with no car payments.

7. One day BM asked DH to put a badminton set up for the "kids" and I was with him. BM and I had gotten into an arguement prior to her asking him and I went to walk with him to the backyard. BM tells me I can't go back there with him and that I needed to get back into the car or get off her property. I told BF that either I was going with him or he was coming with me, but that I didn't feel comfortable being left alone. BM says to him...go, I don't need you anyway. I said to BM, your'e right, you don't need him, God knows you have enough men coming and going around here, that one of them should be able to help you.

Aah...that felt good!!!

1. pay her mom and aunt back for dh's share of what they give each week just b/c she thinks dh should pay more and she convinced her mom and aunt that he would them back b/c he had too.
2. Pay all maintenance on her car for life.
3. pay her mom and aunt for made up loans that she said he borrowed before they split.
4. hook up her computer for the kids when she only got it b/c she is going to an online school.
5. do all pick up and drop offs even though we live an hour away.
6. pay for a pair of 160 dollar pair of shoes for ss15 b/c he is a jock and ha to keep up even though he just got a new pair.
7. Support her and the boys for life b/c she gave birth!!! :sick:

Not long after DH left BM (before we met) he said he went over to their old house and fixed the washing machine for her. He threw out his back as a result. Nice.

Not long after we got married (about 6 years after their divorce), BM called him freaking out because her air conditioning wasn't working. His response was perfect. "So? It's not my house anymore. It's not up to me to help you with your air conditioning. I don't care if you can't afford to have it fixed. It's not my problem."