More drama
What do you do when you when you are up against a BM with no idea on parenting? I know kids do not come with an instruction manual but some common sense tells us a lot of what we need to know.
The latest drama is after this weekends visitation. Fist time we have had skids for a couple of months due to her stupidity. Her stupidity being the eldest who is nearly 9 was told to use a knife to cut his food. He didn't like this and went back and told her he wasn't coming back because of this and she was fine with it. Skids didn't have to come back so back to court, and a lot more court fees later, we have the 3 skids this weekend.
They weren't too bad with me, better than last time anyway. Twins of nearly 6 and the 9 yr old all said they do not have to brush their teeth at home. We went out and bought them toothbrushes etc. The amount of sweets and garbage they are allowed to eat is unbelievable so DH told them that on Sunday they were having a garbbage free day. This went ok until the skids were returned to BM. Within about 10 minutes of them being with her she was texting DH saying she needed to speak to him about the children. He phones her and her problem was the kids had no sweets etc that day and it was a shame and they weren't coming back etc etc. WTF.....why the hell would a decent mother think like this? Saying that a decent mother would install manners etc into her children which she doesn't. We try but as we only have them one weekend a month it seems pointless at times. The eldest only ever wants to play wrestling games on his playstation which he quite openly admits he learns the moves to use on the two younger ones. Don't know how many times he was told off for having his hands round their throat. He doesn't know how to tie his shoelaces and doesn't ant to learn. He can't use a knife or ride a bike etc yet this seems all normal to BM. I could scream at her stupidity.
Ok rant over for now but would love to hear from others who are up against anything similar
yikes!
he cant tie his shoelaces? That's just plain lazy. I sometimes feel what's the point since we only have SD10 EOW, but they have to learn rules, manners, correct behavior etc. somewhere! We get calls from BM after a weekend to yell at us because dear SD10 complains of something we made her do (like clean HER room or eat with her mouth SHUT) and I say too bad. While she's at our home she has to obey our rules (ok mostly their mine, but still!)
I would stop phone conversations
Allow Bm to say these types of things in email or text that can be printed out and shown to the judge. Make sure when you go back again that you request that BM pays court costs as well, since it is due to her stupidity that you are back in court again for essentially the same issue.
Using a knife
I find it odd that my SD10 not only can't use a knife, but doesn't seem to want to. She even asks me to cut up things like waffles and pancakes. I know this is OT but I couldn't help but comment.
so fed up
reeny511.........It's a mixture of laziness and not wanting to. He's not bothered that he can't do things. Although things get explained to him the whys of being able to do things he just doesn't want to learn. BM thinks it's fine that he can't do it so doesn't encourage him. She won't buy him shoes with laces. There would be no point us buying them as she would not make him wear them and I don't see why we should as she gets more than enough CS.
2Bloved.........She won't do that. She has had a warning about texting before. As for her paying court costs there is no chance. She won't get off her butt and get a job so she gets her legal expenses paid for her. Yep thats another gripe of mine. I think they should stop paying it for her then there wouldn't be half the crap there is. Thats the law though.
Constantly_guilty............Yep same here. He doesn't want to and what he doesn't want to do he won't do. DH asked him if he would eat that way in a restaurant and he said yes. He doesn't seem to see anything wrong with it. We tell him what's wrong with it and show him how to use a knife but as he doesn't have to do it with BM then he just won't do it. So frustrating
I would think she would be
I would think she would be delighted with a junk free day, I know I would. I agree with the post about printing out her e-mails, I would also document all phone conversations, and any times the children are being kept away from you due to this ridiculous bullshit.
I don't think any judge would find a no sweets day, wanting the child to tie thier shoes, and learn to ride a bike etc as anything but loving and helpful to a child.
THis bm makes me sick :sick: Does this women not want her chidren to grow up productive and healthy!