Wow what a wonderfully familar site this is and so great to feel that none of us are alone. For years I have put up with an ex who hasn't realised her time with the family has expired along when she had an affair on my husband and decided to leave the marriage. but hey all is forgiven and forgotten on his families behalf. Not to mention the hell she has put myself and my husband through over my husbands 2 daughters. It seems this woman is invisible to any critism and can do as she likes without any backlash from anyone including my Husbands family. My Husband and I have a Son together 6 months old and I have also have 2 daughters from my first marriage. we used to have the SD's for a week at a time till baby came along and they stayed with BM while for a couple of extra weeks when baby came home because with me looking after 4 other children was a handful at first being up all night but they were meant to get back into their routine after a couple of weeks but have never hardly been back even after my Husband begging. when we ask BM about this she accuses my Husband of treating my children better than his which is the usual story and seems no matter what he does she brainwashes the children into thinking they have become second best. I am dealing with a very very jealous woman who must know what we have, what's in our house, what clothes i Buy etc to the point I think I have the most UNWANTED visitation story from my Husbands ex that I have seen so far. I had just given birth to our Son and in she walks with my two SD into the delivery suite to check out the new baby!!!. She just had to see him for herself. Mind you MIL was there for the birth and she kept calling during my labour to find out if I had delivered. I had literally just had a shower after giving birth and there she was she turned up voice and all on my Son's video of the first moments of his life. was it not enough to drop the children off and just wait outside??? What makes this whole experience more sickly is the woman has put me through the utmost hell for the entire time I have known my Husband. Things have become increasingly worse since our Son was born. The eldest step daughter does not want to come over anymore because she does not like that she is not always centre of attention and cannot sit on the computer from the time she gets home till she goes to bed like she does at Mums. It seems it's a never ending fight to win these children over by giving them what they please or they don't come over. She has dragged us through the mill financially and emotinally to the point I'm sure my Husband at one stage thought the only way out was suicide. And all the time she has manipulated every Government system, the children and of course My husbands family. She refuses to cut contact with his Family who invite her over for dinner when we do not even end up with a invite. She has manipulated them into thinking we are the worst in the world and she is perfect. Recently she has paraded 3 new boyfriends infront of the SD's and when we spoke to my Husbands family over our concerns, we were told that no-one is perfect!!! To rub salt in the wounds, his Mother just returned from a holiday in Fiji with her and the children. She took it upon herself to tell his family who have bought into it that we do not pay her single cent in child support!! His Brother only called him this morning over it. Mind you we are paying more than 10 times the amount we are suppose to pay at the moment and have it deducted from his wages before we even see it. I cannot believe my Husband even said to his Brother I will show you my pay slips. why does he has to justify himself to his own family when I believe she should have to justify herself. She has also fed them bull##it that my Husband does not see his daughters anymore (MIL lives away) when he invites them every week and they tell us they will call back after they ask their Mother then fail to return our call. My Husband gives them lots of attention, and love when they are here, he text's them and calls regularly to tell them he loves them. In the past she has manipulated my MIL relationship with her by getting my MIL to tell her about our financial details about how much our repayments are on our house etc. She is very clever at playing the victim to his Family and to the children who in the end feel sorry for her doing it so tough!!. Yet she always has money for nights out on the weekends, for her new outfits, to go away for weekends and to buy alcohol and cigarettes. My Husband works 2 jobs and cannot afford to take a day off to spend with the family!! This woman is everywhere I look and turn to the point the only way i can get rid of her is to keep away from his Family. My Husband is currently in the process telling his family that they have to make a choice betweeen her or us.Where is good old fashioned Loyalty?? I too have an Ex whom i get along with fine as I did with his parents. I would never dream of interfering in his families life as much as I like them out of respect for him. As he also got on famously with mine and wont overstep the mark out of respect for me. Is'nt it an unspoken rule that when you move on you move on??? I sometimes think leaving my Husband is my only option because I cant get rid of this woman. But I know I love him and this is what she ultimately wants is to make him suffer the rest of his life!!

First off, Gina, I am with Fearless and Althea. You are headed for heatache and break! After reading the blog and the posts, I have to ask...Ladies what did we get ourselves into? Ouch. I have had my parenting questioned- I have a 10 year old son, whom I am so thankful for because he is truely a great kid. I have had to deal with the police on more then one occassion, which is totally embarrassing. I have gotten into verbal confrontations on the phone with an a person who I swear did not graduate from high school because I have the pleasure of reading her rambelings on a weekly basis. My husband's insurance was used by this nut to get her teeth cleaned because she is the type who will step on anyone to get where she wants, without having to do any real work, she had 7 jobs in one year. My stepson is obsessed with trying to see me naked- he says that he showers/baths with his mom. He is 3 and was at one time sleeping with her and her boyfriend. I have been accused of emotionally abusing him when she tells him that my son doesn't have a dad; that my husband isn't my son's father- he calls him dad; that she hates me- he tells me this all the time; that my husband used to live with him and his mom until I came along; that "my mommy says that my daddy loves her"; when she tells my stepson to call me Bitchty; if he gets in trouble, I am horrible and mean. I am mortified that she is going to accuse my son of abusing my stepson. She didn't want my stepson when she was pregnant but now she thinks that she is up for Mother of the Year or I should say Mommy- that would be how she refers to herself. Unfortunatly for my stepson, she doesn't give a rat's butt about him, she wants my husband back...it has been 3 years. I told her that if he had ever wanted her in the first place then he would of married her and not me. I am embarrassed for her because of the way that she acts, she makes a total fool out of herself!

"What you do to children; they will do to society." ~Karl Menninger

I understand exactly about the whole ex stuff. My fiances ex is crazy, lazy, and manipulative. The kids are 18 and 15 the oldest just left for college yeahhhhh. The 15 yr old is a puke and the eyes and ears in our home for the ex. She has no life and was laying on my fiances couch until i came along and even a short while after until told her to get the hell out one morning when she thought I was at work and I came back home with a friend of mine and caught her on our couch sleeping. What the hell has she no pride??? She never moved on he had the kids and took whatever help he could get from her and she spent most of her time at his house when he worked and the kids let her in. She is the most obnoxious woman if you want to call her that I have ever met. She calls my fiance about the 15 yr old like he is 5 and she demands him to buy stuff all the time for the puke and she doesnt pay a dime of her court ordered child support. She is a real piece of work and I could go on all day about this witch. The 15 yr old is just like her picked out of her ass in attitude and looks and lazyness. He is the most disrespectful kid I have ever met. Loud obnoxous, dirty, demanding, swearing at his father when he doesnt get his own way piece of shit I ever encountered. Sorry but I am so frustrated. If anyone has any advise I would more than welcome it.

If DH and I weren't married, I would never deal with this. I didn't want it or need it. I didn't marry BM and refuse to speak to her.

Skids constantly poisened against me and I have ceased to care if they like me or not. Whatever, it is totally not worth it. If you want to hang in there, you are a better person than I. Step mothers are saints.

Me, I am checked out and hoping one day I will not be angry anymore about being trapped in a situation that I don't want to be in.

When I first became involved with my now Husband he also was exchanging gifts etc.... I put my foot down and said the relationship is with me or her. You can't have 2 wives. He was also bullied the first two years and did what ever she said for the sake of his son. Now it has taken 3 years snce we have been married but things are now NORMAL. So it sounds like he either needs to decide if wants to have a relationship with you or he still wants to be married. He needs to make the decision.
If he cannot I would run away fast. It will never change.

How to deal with a stepson that hates me, & the ex-wife... About 3 years ago I met the most amazing guy, married him 3 months later and life was perfect...or so I thought. Now to back up some, I have two children a 13 year old and an 8 year old. Both of my children adore him as much as I do, to the tune of him adopting my oldest (her father passed away when she was a few months old). So you start to see my pretty picture. Well my husband came with a coniving ex-wife and vicious child that HATES ME! AT 4 years old he tells me he hates me among many other things. At 5 I'll kill you, I could push you down the stairs and daddy would think it was an acident. He has told my children the same thing. Then it got bad and though we have tried to work through this I have back WAY off...we were planning on having a child and when asking the normal "so what would you want me to have?" My two chime in with smiles and "A baby sister!" "Uh no sissy, a brother, mom please a brother!" my step-son, after being asked and me trying to include him says "I'll hate the new baby as much as I hate you!" I was in shock, hurt and now afraid of a 5 year old. Since then we have not had him over which is makeing serious waves in my marriage, but how do you balance out the two...protect yourself and your children and still allow this child in your home because he belongs tot he man you love??

Now here's where it gets complicated, thought the ex is off her rocker, she loves her son. He's on monitored television, goes to church, appropriate language is used around him, mom is FINALLY dating (2 years since our marriage and 3 since the divorce). He is a super brain; at 4 he says "You know why you where sunglasses in antartica? Because the sun is so bright it could burn your eyes when it reflects off the snow." I'm not the only one he behaves like this with either. He loves my mother in law, but hates my father in law. He has acted out at school, stabbing a child with a pencil, cutting and pulling hair with no remores.I'm sure you see my problem, he's causing me to think I am crazy and need to be on meds, he's now causing serious tensions in my marriage and I have gotten where I don't want anythign to do with him.

On a small note of the ex, she gets 800.00 a month on top of insurance, etc. Now because, not we, but my husband doesn't spend as much time as she sees fit with their son and doesn't have a good relationship with her she is taking us to mediation to raise the childsupport......honestly does it ever stop, or do we just have to go crazy to the point of being medicated to deal with this??..any suggestions??

Stressed & Confused...Stressed & Confused...

Now that I read all the posts on here, I think my life is not so bad! What a nightmare. I have been married to my husband for almost 4 years. We met after he was separated and she had filed for divorce. She moved in with her current husband about the same time and married him about 2 months after we got married. Our biggest issue is the ex-wife wants her kids to think my husband is a deadbeat dad. She treated him that way even when they were married. My husband is in the Army and has been gone a lot because she refused to move with him....didn't want to uproot "their" lives. He pays his child support plus a little more just to make it "even", provides medical coverage, pays for dental, and now pays half for oldest daughter's braces. We would pay more if we ever got truthful information, she has provided us with medical bills, etc that were before our insurance had paid the entire bill. She lies about what she paid for stuff so we'll pay for it all. We live 6 hours away and drive to and from the whole way. Every time. She refuses to meet, unless it suits her plans. Which has only been 2 times! They live a blow & go lifestyle. She is a nurse and he used to have his own business, but now not really sure what he does...works on a farm?? Anyway, the kids are 13 and 9 and the oldest has now taken on the posture of the mom that her dad doesn't pay for anything. She says that $600 a month doesn't even pay for groceries for she and her sister for a month....am I crazy or is that sufficient. I have tried to explain that we aren't responsible for the entire support that her mother is responsible for half. She makes more money than my husband btw. We are very frugal. We don't have any credit cards, we pay as we go for stuff. She goes out & buys a $450 pageant dress for a 12 year old and then says we owe half. Actually, I found out it was really only about $300, but she told us $450. That goes on & on. I would NEVER buy a dress like that for someone in a school pageant that had SIX contestants in podunk Louisiana. She got 4th runner up. Ridiculous. But, this is the attitude throughout. I have 2 grown daughters, 20 & 23 and their dad was a deadbeat...spent 2 years in prison for it...I know how hard it is to raise kids by yourself. My husband now can't talk to his kids....they don't answer the phone. His youngest would, but I know she catches it whenever she does. Whenever we see her, she cusses my husband in front of the kids, tells them that her husband will continue to take care of them like he always does...very frustrating. My husband calls in advance, a month, a week, for visitation. She finds something to interefere with our time, every time. The kids love me btw, we get along great and they love my daughters. My husband is strict, but a good dad. They're mom says they're scared of him and beg her to tell them they don't want to see him. But, when they come, we have a good time....the oldest gets bored easily though and wants to spend all her time with her friends. Last year they came for a week in the summer and then called their mom to say they wanted to stay another week and you should have seen how she treated her kids...they were in tears....it was awful. They stayed, but I knew they dreaded going home to face her. Another incident when they were visiting, she had the youngest in tears, telling them about a trip they going to take without them...because they were gone...and it never took place. How do you do that to your kids?? I have always worked and so I'm not a drain on the finances. Our lawyer says that the 13 year old has a choice if she wants to talk to her dad or not....I don't understand that. If they were still married, she wouldn't have a choice...why would she now? I keep telling my husband that she'll realize some things when she gets older, but in the meantime, that doesn't help his hurt over all this.

Just needed to vent.

Hi everyone

Just one quick thing to ladylou, sounds like your husband is getting along with his Ex a bit too much. Strange that hes gettin cranky with you tho cause you have a right to be concerned. I certainly would feel annoyed with my man. If hes talkin to his ex more than his daughter then i would be wondering whats the hell is going on. I guess its a good thing cause he gets to talk to his daughter again but there is no need for the constant emailing between him and his ex. He needs to understand, how would he feel if you were catching up with an ex partner.

I have been with my man for 5 years, not married yet. And yes his ex-wife is a real cow. He said she wasnt like that at all when they were married, though he would sometimes go without sex for 9 months so you can pretty much work out why but he stayed for the kids sake. Then when he leaves because of her infidelity she blames it all on him for cheating with me. Which is not true! She has tried to make things so hard for us and we dont complain or argue. I have nothing to do with her, i say nothing to her at all. I stay right out of it. But she still tries everything to make it hard for him to see his kids and now she has them playing sport which we said no to because she moved 500kms away and makes it difficult because we cant stay up there in a motel, its too costly. But went and did it anyway and told the kids that he doesnt want them playing sport so hes the one being nasty yet she was the one who moved 5 hrs away to live on the coast and now we only get the kids overnight cause they play on saturday so we cant pick them up till sat afternoon.

Why does she have to be so nasty, we give her no reason. She should be bloody thankful that he 'wants' to see his kids. He loves them so very very much and they love him just as much. There is so much i wish i could say but to be honest it would be 5 pages long. This woman is so nasty and lies for the sake of lying. How do women like that still get everything they want.....how???

She is now with a guy that has been hard on her, and is very arrogant so i guess shes gotten what was coming to her!! Problem is, he is arrogant on the kids too.

We're in the process of taking her to court and she doesnt even know it yet. She told us to take her to court if we wanted to cancel the sport so we will be! We have to so that he can finally see his kids again from friday to sunday, instead of sat night to sun morning. All this crap started when my bf and i built a lovely country home and bought a new car. We had to buy a new car for safety features since we have to do 1000km each weekend, picking up the kids and dropping them back off again. Its ridiculous. Sometimes she'll text my bf a messages when we're already half way up there, to meet halfway, saying 'i cant make it halfway, stuck in traffic, can you bring them up here. So our 5 hrs trip has then turned into a 9hr trip by the time we get back home. We got home at 11pm once and had to get up an 5:30am for work the next day, we both work together.

My bf tells me all the time to just let it go, that she is digging her own hole and eventually it will cave in all around her. The kids will finally realise the truth when they grow up, hopefully they dont take too much notice to the bull%$^@ she dribbles to them between now and then

They ask us a lot of questions though. When will you get married, will you have any babies....just the other day the daughter told me that her mum said it was ok for her to call me 'mum'. Well, we know why she told her that...its cause she wants the kids to call her bf 'dad'. My bf's ex is very strange but there is always method in her madness....i dont trust her at all and ill stand by my man the whole way through!!!

Hello to all women who married men with kids!

I am so sorry for each of us, i was in the same situation before I realized that it is me who can chose I will be happy with this man or not. My husband is a very good man and I am not going to give up my marriage because of an idiot ex-wife:) But I wont let her rule my marriage either. I dont give a damn what she cries and complains about, here is me and my future kids and this is the most important, she can kiss my ass but my husband is not going to do anything she wants. And my kids are more important than their kid together, and they will always go first no matter what. Why should I suffer because they have a kid ? They shouldn't get divorced then and stay together for that kid.Not spoiling somebodys life. hell, no. Everything is going to be my way;) And it will!

Hi - Question....I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 months now. Things are wonderful, except I'm realizing he cannot say no to his ex about his son. His visitation is every other weekend and every Monday and Tuesday. So, every other weekend he has his son 4 days in a row. I'm totally cool with this, except for the fact that he also travels alot and I have custody of my grandson. Therefore, our time is very limited. He is out of town this weekend, and I asked him if I could see him Sunday night (tonight) when he got back. He said that sounds good. However, now he tells me he has his son tonight. Where did that come from??? And, this isn't the first time this has happened. Is it too soon in the relationship for me to make a fuss over this? Don't get me wrong, I feel kids come first. But, is this just a case of him not wanting to say no to his ex? I'm very disappointed. My time is very limited because of my grandson, and I had a sitter all night tonight. I'm not sure what is happening here and don't want to cross the line too soon by asking. We have a wonderful relationship otherwise - one that I can see being long term. Any thoughts??? Oh, and he and his ex do not get along. I haven't even asked about the why's of that one yet....

I'm glad i found this site. So much of what everyone says is a lot like my situation. i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, his son was only 4 months old when we started dating. since the start his BM has been causing trouble, mostly with me. she then go a boyfriend about a year ago and the bull stopped for a while he has now left her she has a 4 month old with this other man. She has always pushed 4 year old off on everyone else since he was little and even wrose now. my step son is delayed in speech on only started talking about 7 months ago, he has a speech therapist and in school has speech classes which have helped out a lot. we work very closely wiht him to drag words out of him when he is with myself and my boyfriend every weekend. the problem i have isnt toward me but more what she is doing to her son, both the speech therapist and doctor have said she needs to ditch the binky (which he hasnt used with us since he was 2 years old, didnt even suck his thumb wen we took it away) she refuses to stop giving it to him b.c it shuts him up. also my aunt works at his school and said she sees a huge difference between him being with us on the weekend and while hes at school, he's hitting kids and teachers and when it was brought up to the mother she walked away like she never heard anything. She also refuses to potty train him, my step son is 4 1/2 years old he pees in the toilet standing like a big boy but she has taught him when he has to poop to get a diaper and do it there instead of in the toilet. My boyfriend is afraid to stand up to her about this because he doesnt want her to pull the bs she did b4 trying to call DSS on him even tho he has never done anything wrong... so difficult because i love this kid just like he was my own, but there's nothing i can do!

When i met my husband 10 years ago (married 9 years now)His kids were just turned 18 girl and 21 boy i also have two sons at the time i married him they were 4 and 12 both boys.I had to deal with ex wife (who was also an ex Military wife)He divorced her.I can't begin to tell you all crap she caused to not only him but after we married year or so after they're divorce.Its been bad really bad.I am a loving,wife.and i feel very good step-mom to them but i believe even after 10 years its not want she wants his daughter.Now 27.You can't disagree with her lets just say that.When i first met him she was getting military school money to attend school (both children got it but only the girl attended collage and finished.We found out he got a portion of money around 160.00 as reward for her attending school the man at VA explained this to us and i said is this HIS MONEY OR HERS.He said HIS money so he never had this money put in his account yet and she called him screaming on phone i want to see you!!We were at my sons school festival he was at time 1st grade she came sqilling in parking lot obviously upset.Got out car said to my husband (her dad)I want to speak to you now over there!(away from me)My husband said what you say to me you can say to her.She said NO!so i took myself out situation by saying i'll be over here if you need me.Although i was only 10 feet away and you could here her loud mouth anyhow so no secrets that day.She said he stole money from her and she wanted it back!!!(NOW..My husband very nice man never stole thing in his life ever kind hearted everything.)She said she would put him in a home if he messed with her.I stopped her right there and said NO YOU ARE NOT!!I was his wife and that would NOT happen.She had so much control back then over him she made him drive two streets back to our house and get his checkbook and write her out a check for the amount (and i swear on my babies he never stole anything it was his the VA man said she had other income from VA that went to her.This was not part of her's i made sure that day i double checked by asking.Not only did she break our phone that day by throwing it.But it was first time i'd ever seen my husband cry (grown man)Wile he wrote her out check.for what she thought was hers but it wasn't but you could not tell her that.She hated me and made him pay.And i think alot was his ex feeding her what to do.That was the beginning of my beautiful relationship with my step-daughter.I still tried to work it out because it was his daughter and we knew she was young and maybe she would grow out of this mind you its been 10 years she has gotten little better but not quit the latest was just couple months ago we were loaning out money to my step-son who is now 30 300.00 at time to get his car fixed.Sister don't like brothers girlfriend (at all)and we all tried to keep this secret none of her business us loaning him money so he had two of his cousins on his mothers side ride him to meet us to give him money everything was done (by the way supposedly sister wanted nothing to do with her brother because he is with this girl even prior to us giving him money.)So everything was done he got his money next day sister calls us oh...She said you know the money you gave @@@.I said yah..How'd you know???I have my ways.His girlfriend had her hair done with some of it.I said i don't care really what he did with it.I do believe he did get his car fixed yes because he showed us the part he bought.But the fact..That i did not care ate her alive!!!!She wanted me to be pist but i was not going there this time i said who cares.Its our money not hers so leave it alone.SHE BURST OUT!!!!ITS NOT YOUR MONEY ITS MY FATHERS MONEY!!Now mind you we been together 10 years altogether and she is collage educated and she is 27 yrs old???She still does things here and there that tells me she is not fully likeing me but i don't care my job is to love my husband and try...To be the best parent and step-parent to my family as i can reguardless what or how they feel.I now just ignore it.When they don't get reaction they evenually stop until the next time.

OMG, i feel so competely at home here. i am going thru hell. i f*king wish it would stop.

I came to this site because I am about to give up hope. I am the child of divorce myself, but incredibly lucky in that my parents never involved us in their separation or divorce, and have been friendly in a healthy way throughout our lives. This is not the case with my boyfriend who is now 2 1/2 into his divorce/separation and everyday continues to be a living hell.

Because of my profession in law, I am not unfamiliar with divorce and its consequences, but I never in my life have experienced or met a woman full of such hatred, revisionist history, narcissism and with such a profound (though not justified) victimization complex as my boyrfiend's ex. They have 5 kids, so the top post interested me. I have no children and have been dating him for 1 1/2 years. I live a long distance from her and him, for that matter, and had no connection with them at all prior to my boyfriend and I meeting. She has lost the war with the kids regarding her attempt to make me into a monster, and for that I am grateful. The kids are lovely, and I care for them very much, and feel I do so in a manner that respects boundaries. They are very loving in return, and are very happy I am a part of their lives, but their loyalty to their mother, and the constant barrage of "your father's a loser, he doesn't pay for things, and nasty statements about me, upset them and confuse them, until they come to talk to me directly, almost confessing their mother's statements, and feeling awful for them. It goes without saying he is not a deadbeat dad, as he enters year 3 of living in his parents basement 10 feet away from the home he built (yes it's literally 10 feet), that she currently lives in with her live in boyfriend (her testimony in court is that he provides nothing for rent, food or living expenses). Because of the dysfunction and tumultuous relationship between his ex and her new boyfriend, the State has become involved, and even initiated a CHIPs action after he was violent with the kids, and the ex and new boyfriend were violent to one another. Yet still, everyday he receives worthless emails commenting on his parenting, pick up and drop off times, and all sorts of things already known to us. No less than 75% up to in excess of 100% (he actually has to take personal loans to pay the temporary support mandated) of what he makes is turned over to her, he has his kids 36% of the time (yes it's a ridiculous number), and attends events, buys clothes (the clothes she buys the kids are "her clothes"), and has been there every time she has kicked out the oldest daughter, which occurs frequently.

I have had no contact with the ex, up until yesterday (three emails), and we have never actually met. My olive branch email in the teeth of vitriolic comments about my weight, looks, the incredible loser my boyfriend is etc., were completely ignored, and it was made clear there would be no truce, even for the children. My only question for myself is, can I keep going? I love my boyfriend, and our relationship has been wonderful. He is growing so much out of the grasp of this woman, and is so supportive and loving to me. But I can't take this anymore, and because I am an attorney, I think I have involved myself too closely in the legal battles (she is actually going after his parents' business!!!! - it really is this terrible). I need advice, help or solace. Is there anyone out there?

So, I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years now. We originally dated in high school and found eachother again in 2006. We have a great relationship and plan on marrying. I have an almost 8 year old daughter and he has a 13 1/2 year old son. Our kids (on their own) started referring to eachother as brother and sister and his son calls me his step mom and my daughter calls my boyfriend her step dad. My daughter lives with us and sees her dad on weekends and my step son comes to our house on weekends and vacations. For the past 4 years I have helped my stepson make gifts for his mom for Mother's day, birthday, Christmas, etc along with her family. I would remind my boyfriend to have his son call his mom on those occasions as well, just because I know how it feels to not be thought of on those days. My ex never has my daughter call me on those days if she is with him,nor has he ever had my daughter give me a gift for any occasion. It really hurts, so me trying to be a good person, I did not want anyone else to feel that way. My step son and I get along well. He is a really good kid. He enjoys helping me in anyway that he can;cooking, making things, or even stood up with me at my Dad's Funeral Service 2 months ago to read what I had written because I couldn't (he volunteered to do this). He really wants to get to know my family and be part of it. One of my sisters lives across the country with her family because her husband is in the Air Force, so we rarely get to see them. It is really hard to get everyone together. Every year on Christmas Eve we all get together at my other sisters house. We asked my step son's mother if he could come with us last year. She said no. But said maybe next year. Well this year she said no again, so my boyfriend asked her if we could have him just for a couple of hours and we would bring him back. She said no. So stupid me, thinking that maybe if I wrote to her and told her how much it would mean to me to have him there to support me (since my dad had just passed away, my mom passed away 11 years ago and my brother passed away almost 5 years ago)that maybe she would understand, since her dad passed away a couple of years ago. Well boy was I wrong. She in turn wrote me the nastiest email I have ever read. She told me that Christmas Eve was her day and it always will be, that her son knows that even when he is older he HAS to go there, that her family was the only family that matteredand if my family wanted to get to know her son that they would have to rearrange their lives for her schedule. She also said that her husband knows not to butt into hers and my boyfriend's business and she doesn't expect to hear another word from me. Oh and she didn't forget to tell me that my boyfriend loved her family more than he could ever love mine. I was so angry my whole body was shaking and all that I could think of is as long as I stay with my boyfriend I will have to deal with this inconsiderate, selfish, controlling arrogant jerk. Ugh! How do you deal with people like this???? When her dad was ill in the hospital I went to her mom's house to help my boyfriend mow and rake her lawn because his ex wife's boyfriend was too lazy to help out, not to mention dropping everything to take her son so she could go to the hospital. When her dad passed, I went to his funeral. Every Christmas we make homemade fudge for gifts for our family and friends. My step son last year (2009) wanted a box to bring home. He was so excited that I was giving him some that he told his mom and she told him that I probably poisoned it. I didn't believe him when he told me this(I mean what mom would say such things to her kids?), so I told my boyfriend, he in turn called her and asked her about it. She admitted saying it and claimed it was a joke. She constantly talks smack about my boyfriend to their son to the point where he stands up to his mom and tells her to stop. My boyfriend pays quite a bit in child support, along with buying most of his school clothes, medical, monthly medication(which she won't send him with any ont the weekends when we have him), school supplies,and whatever else he needs. last year we bought ALL of his clothes and she called to yell at us for not buying him any short sleeve shirts(nyone else would have been appreciative that all they had to buy was a couple of short sleeve shirts). (my daughters dad doesnt buy anything for my daughter and I am lucky if i see any child support)She doesn't see how good she has it. My boyfriend does anything and everything for his son, but that doesnt stop her from calling him to tell him he is a horrible father every chance that she gets. A couple of days later she will apologize to him, but in my eyes if she were truly sorry she wouldn't do it anymore. This woman makes me so angry! I truly love my boyfriend and want to spend the rest of my life with him. He is a wonderful person, helps anyone that he can, treats me great and does anything in his power to make me happy. I am truly lucky to have him. However, I just don't know how I can deal with her in our lives. Everytime I think of how aweful of a person she is, i get sooo angry! Any suggestions on how to deal with all this would be greatly appreciated.

So, I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years now. We originally dated in high school and found eachother again in 2006. We have a great relationship and plan on marrying. I have an almost 8 year old daughter and he has a 13 1/2 year old son. Our kids (on their own) started referring to eachother as brother and sister and his son calls me his step mom and my daughter calls my boyfriend her step dad. My daughter lives with us and sees her dad on weekends and my step son comes to our house on weekends and vacations. For the past 4 years I have helped my stepson make gifts for his mom for Mother's day, birthday, Christmas, etc along with her family. I would remind my boyfriend to have his son call his mom on those occasions as well, just because I know how it feels to not be thought of on those days. My ex never has my daughter call me on those days if she is with him,nor has he ever had my daughter give me a gift for any occasion. It really hurts, so me trying to be a good person, I did not want anyone else to feel that way. My step son and I get along well. He is a really good kid. He enjoys helping me in anyway that he can;cooking, making things, or even stood up with me at my Dad's Funeral Service 2 months ago to read what I had written because I couldn't (he volunteered to do this). He really wants to get to know my family and be part of it. One of my sisters lives across the country with her family because her husband is in the Air Force, so we rarely get to see them. It is really hard to get everyone together. Every year on Christmas Eve we all get together at my other sisters house. We asked my step son's mother if he could come with us last year. She said no. But said maybe next year. Well this year she said no again, so my boyfriend asked her if we could have him just for a couple of hours and we would bring him back. She said no. So stupid me, thinking that maybe if I wrote to her and told her how much it would mean to me to have him there to support me (since my dad had just passed away, my mom passed away 11 years ago and my brother passed away almost 5 years ago)that maybe she would understand, since her dad passed away a couple of years ago. Well boy was I wrong. She in turn wrote me the nastiest email I have ever read. She told me that Christmas Eve was her day and it always will be, that her son knows that even when he is older he HAS to go there, that her family was the only family that matteredand if my family wanted to get to know her son that they would have to rearrange their lives for her schedule. She also said that her husband knows not to butt into hers and my boyfriend's business and she doesn't expect to hear another word from me. Oh and she didn't forget to tell me that my boyfriend loved her family more than he could ever love mine. I was so angry my whole body was shaking and all that I could think of is as long as I stay with my boyfriend I will have to deal with this inconsiderate, selfish, controlling arrogant jerk. Ugh! How do you deal with people like this???? When her dad was ill in the hospital I went to her mom's house to help my boyfriend mow and rake her lawn because his ex wife's boyfriend was too lazy to help out, not to mention dropping everything to take her son so she could go to the hospital. When her dad passed, I went to his funeral. Every Christmas we make homemade fudge for gifts for our family and friends. My step son last year (2009) wanted a box to bring home. He was so excited that I was giving him some that he told his mom and she told him that I probably poisoned it. I didn't believe him when he told me this(I mean what mom would say such things to her kids?), so I told my boyfriend, he in turn called her and asked her about it. She admitted saying it and claimed it was a joke. She constantly talks smack about my boyfriend to their son to the point where he stands up to his mom and tells her to stop. My boyfriend pays quite a bit in child support, along with buying most of his school clothes, medical, monthly medication(which she won't send him with any ont the weekends when we have him), school supplies,and whatever else he needs. last year we bought ALL of his clothes and she called to yell at us for not buying him any short sleeve shirts(nyone else would have been appreciative that all they had to buy was a couple of short sleeve shirts). (my daughters dad doesnt buy anything for my daughter and I am lucky if i see any child support)She doesn't see how good she has it. My boyfriend does anything and everything for his son, but that doesnt stop her from calling him to tell him he is a horrible father every chance that she gets. A couple of days later she will apologize to him, but in my eyes if she were truly sorry she wouldn't do it anymore. This woman makes me so angry! I truly love my boyfriend and want to spend the rest of my life with him. He is a wonderful person, helps anyone that he can, treats me great and does anything in his power to make me happy. I am truly lucky to have him. However, I just don't know how I can deal with her in our lives. Everytime I think of how aweful of a person she is, i get sooo angry! Any suggestions on how to deal with all this would be greatly appreciated.

Jan,

I will never understand why EX-wifes put thier own feelings before thier own childrun. I thought that most states make both parents attend classes to help both parents and childrun weather the divorce in the best possible way.

I made bad choices in the first year of my divorce becasue of anger. but put things in order after that. And the kids healed because of it.

I say ignore the EX and do what is right for your own family. The kids are the ones who need you most.

I completely and utterly relate and I have almost walked out on my now husband more times than I can count because of the psycho the youngest two call "mom" who does nothing but manipulate every single move in my home. We tried the co-parenting thing. What a joke! What she wanted was to manipulate me like she was my husband and when I let her know point blank no way was that happening she about came unglued at the seams and has been a complete nightmare to the extent that I have documented endless visitation denials despite the parenting plan and flagrant custodial interference. Where is my husband their father in all this.....his head I have decided is permanently buried up her butt and when I forcefully pulled his head out and kicked him where it hurt recently because his daughter is suffering from Alopecia Aeriota which is generally put a severe and sudden hair loss (most usually caused by stress) which I suffered from for over a year myself so I can certainly relate to her emotional pain. I stated it's about time you start seeing what that crazy witch is doing to your kids and put a stop to it and the only way I know how to do that is to say okay obviously you believe you are in control I believe you are mistaken and we will let the courts decided and all the documentation we have on denials and your using the kids to manipulate my home and my time with them will most likely force a change in custody and lets see how you like only seeing them every two weeks and having to ASK to be with your kids! She with that has become even worse and is calling his bluff. It is a matter of finding a lawyer willing to take payments through out the mess but she is just nuts to the point she told girls not to listen to me because I am not their mother and I said well duh I know that but thanks for pointing out the obvious however it is MY home and when they are with us it's our rules and our time. I know riding it out is best but I am so fiercely overprotective and very much defensive when I see the kids reacting to something in a negative way like they are storing it for later reports to their mother which is so wrong on so many levels! I don't know what to tell you except if you think this is bad now....get married! She intentionally dyed the girls hair bright pink just before our wedding so they would look terrible for our ceremony because of her jealousy. She also cheated on him and he dumped her at that time and how she got custody with her false stalking order is beyond me I mean didn't that tell the judge at the time UNFIT?! Unfortunately if the dad isn't willing to stop her behavior you have not one hope of getting anything done! You are for better or worse the dysfunctional Brady family if you choose to stay. Believe it or not the kids will discover who is the "better person" later in life but it will be a long road to that day and it's a hell of a rocky ride with potholes and crazy behavior and the husband sitting on his hands regardless of the pain he sees in his kids eyes. I see it every time I am with them and it is killing me! Why are we the only ones that care?! Sorry for the rant but you need to document document DOCUMENT!

Hi Jan,
You aren't the only one that has faced this problem. My BF has two children.I've never thought, i will have this horrible experience. Long story short. My BF ex-wife cheated on him to someone else, abandoned her children, she came back home&left home before they divorced. They divorced 5 yrs ago. 2yrs ago, i started my relationship with my BF. He has had a bad credit because his ex-wife didn't pay morgate, she got money from my BF and didn't pay until morgate called my BF to remind he was behind payment for 2 months. His ex-wife has still owed child support to my BF and never paid. He lost his job and house 2 yrs ago. I can't belive this happen with him. His ex-wife called him and told him to see her at dunkin donut, she needed to talk about the kids. My BF worried about her&the kids. Then, the next day, she blaimed to my BF about his new girlfriend(it's me) and tried to make her daughter&son closed to her new husband whom she had an affair with(behind of my BF back). The kids really wanted to stay with their mom because their mom would move to out of state. So, they did everything that their mom wanted. My BF's son wrote the letter to the court about his dad abused him. and his daughter just blamed at me that dad picked new girlfriend over than her. I have been crucified to get that blame from 11 yrs old girl and had seen my BF cried every night to miss his own children... I have known so far everything is from his ex-wife to change the story from her fault to be my BF fault that's why, she ran away from her own children before. My BF lost job&house that time. We didn't have anything to eat just peanut butter. We moved to live with his mom for a while. His daughter called her Nana and blamed at me everything until one day my BF's son wanted to move back to stay with him because he didn't get along with his stepfather and my BF's mom started to worried about her situation because my BF's son used to say "Fxxx You" to her when the cops came to knock at her house and we all called my BF's son to go to school, that time was the process of my BF ex-wife to move out of state. Then my BF's mom turned to make me to be excuse again to be unable to live there even if she used to ask us to live there because she was 78 yrs old and unhealthy. I love her, my BF worked far away from his mom house. Everytime during 3am or 4am, his mom called&yelled at him. I never seen him yelled at his mom back. I could see my BF love his mom so much then, my BF's son came back, My BF's mom tried to convinced me to no accept her grandson back. I felt bad for my BF and i was so much optimistic person. I said "Yes." My BF's mom kicked me out&made me to be excuse. Whoever read this, you know?? Why i knew exactly, she made me to be an excuse... Because she just passed away couple weeks ago...I was shock. I haven't talked to her for a year. I used to take care of her when she was sick and never hated to clean her bottom because i respected her like my mom in U.S. Last mother's day, i gave the flower to her and she thought, i went back to my country already because my BF had to lie to his own mom about me due to his daughter always never ended my story and his mom couldn't say anything because she loved her grandaughter very much and if she said, I 'm a good girl. My BF daughter never gonna called her again.... The truth came out after my BF's mom passed away, she left the easter card to me about she loved me, and told me how wonderful i was. They found out at my BF's mom house. It 's horrible for me that the way that my BF's mom passed away lonely. At my BF's mom funeral, someone came to me and told me my BF's mom loved me...My heart is broken and hurt so much because i wanted to see her a long time but i thought she didn't like me because my BF's daughter told us. The 2nd truth came out again when we met my BF daugther at my BF's mom funeral after we never seen her &talked to her for over a year. When we first met her, she huged her dad and huged me and said she missed me... My BF's ex-wife didn't say anything to me even if i have been taking care of her son and paid for everything... She came back to hurt my BF's feeling. First day of coming back had a cook out before my BF's mom funeral next day,she took the kids with her, the kids never seen their mom cousin a long time so they forgot their dad(my BF). They came with her. My BF's daughter canceled her dinner with her dad for that stupid cook-out...At funeral, my BF's son changed back again, didn't talk to me or said anything. He just waited to see his mom, he started to lie to my BF again and did something that couldn't do. He came to his mom's counsin house and had a party before my BF's mom funeral and after my BF's mom funeral on Sundays....I was so upset because at the funeral day at church, my BF's ex-wife cut in front of me to go to sit close to my BF and took her daughter to hug during mass at the church. My BF couldn't do anything that time because we wanted his mom to go to heaven and had peace and mind... At the cemetery,his ex-wife relative tried to pull the flower from my BF's mom funeral to give it to his ex-wife sister daugther, not only one rose, they all gave her a lot of roses and didn't give us to have a quite time to say bye to my BF's mom... Afterthat, my BF's son asked about what's wrong&showed he didn't agree with them...But you know what, my BF's son went with them before his Nana's funeral&after funeral to cook-out while his dad was crying....My BF told his son everything about the thing that my BF's son mom did to us...Then, he said he understood..Then, the next day, he puted his mom photo in our computer on screensaver.

I was so upset, everytimes when this kid needs me, i always did everything...paid so much money for him.. I don't want him hate his mom..I have mom too. I just want him care me and it seemed like they make me&my BF to stand in the position of my BF cheated on his mom and i am that girl...I told my BF, his son has a mental problem, he almost burned his house before, wrote the letter to court to say bad to his dad who never left them and spent all money that he had for his children, hugged the guy who had an affair with his mom behind of dad's back and against his dad,...

After my BF's mom funeral, he has changed and always changed when his mom is aroud...When my BF's son lived with his mom, he got all "F"..Right now, he lives with us his grad is better because we all care about his future...

Sometimes, i want to just walk away and then, my memory always popped up the time that my BF's mom cried to me to no leave her son...Am...I'm so tired&want my BF to agree with me and told his son to spend all summer with his mom&his cousins then school years, if he doesn't get A or B, no bother us to ask to go with their grammy or anyone in that his mom family...It s unhealthy...It's poison to the kids and my relationship with my BF....

I just joined this forum today to get help with my own problem, and reading all these posts has made me feel less alone. It sounds like ex wives can be really difficult to deal with, and as the new partner, we have to put up with a lot of unfairness and a lot of game playing by the ex wife who is probably (lets face it) upset to see her ex happy with someone else. Good luck to you. I think it´s a great shame that people use their children in this way. I hope she comes to see she is causing more harm than she realizes

Hi Can any body help me please?
I am married for almost 3 years and i have a problem with my husband,s Ex wife... she does not want to know she is just that..... THE EX!!!
She uses the kids to get me mad, like recently my husband's daughter got sick, she had to be rushed to hospital, he did not call me to let me know i only found out after i called him, then when i asked why he did not let me know he tells me that i did not really worry about his daughter i am more worried bout his ex, me and she hates one another so much its so nice lol... any way jokes aside, when i tell him how i feel he gets rude and we argue and then he goes to his kids to calm down he tells me that the sick kid don't want to fall asleep if he not there so he comes home late at night, i decided i am not going to spoil his kids( he has 3) any longer until he and they learn to respect me and its just a pitty the day he realises what he has it will be to late... i am at wits end i felt like taking my life just today as people telling me he using me, i spoilt him etc.. things i dont want to hear right now...
Help guys please... i do not have any friends to turn to as i lost them all when i married this man.

First...don't ever say anything negative about the ex (you can think all the bad stuff you want but don't say it) and second boundaries need to be set. It is very difficult to deal with all of what you are dealing with.
I am a Stepmom and have been for 8 years. I have a SD15 now. I have 3 biological children and have to deal with the BF and the new wife also. It has been a very challenging ride and continues. I have learned many things through the years. No matter all the great things you do for a stepchild it will never really be appreciated until maybe they are an adult. Don't ever have any expectations and you will be fine. Live your life and do the things that are important to you. Try to not let the chaos and craziness rule your life. Life is too short for all of that. Work on your own peace...really work on it. Don't let the choas define you. I wish you the best!

First, I am so happy I found a place with people just like me everyone has partal parts that i have going on in my life> Hopefully lots of u can help me coop with this problems! Becuz my problems are alike and more added.. TO get started i would like to introduce myself I am a 27 yr old stepmom I have been since i was 17. I met my husband in the oddest circumtances and i am still struggling. I met him knowing he had a daughter and as much as i was against it i never wanted to be with a married man or a man with baby moma's becuz all men with baby moma's always go back to have sexual relation with them or indupt with them that is actually one of the first things that i told my husband. I was never into to that. But something changed I some how allowed him to make me believe that he was different he told me to give him a chance! That not all men were the same. But the day i allowed that to happen my world went upside down. I went from being confident and outgoing open minded to who i am today! FIrst off yes its true my husband had a daughter later in the relationship, i found out he had a son as well. But it was odd to me that he never spoke of him! You can hear him talk of his daughter it was always about his daughter. Randomly of his son! We moved in together back in 2003 and honestly i wasn't prepared for what i am in. My husband was with his ex for almost 10 years ofcourse on and off he never married her but they were together. Today i feel like i fell in love with the wrong guy! From the moment my husband separated from his ex to this moment the ex is making my life a living hell. For starters i am sorry to all the woman that got cheated on and i am sorry to say but my husband cheat on his ex with me only difference is that he told me he was separated that he lived with his mom, and i believed every word! By the time i fell in love with him i found out that it wasn't true that he was marryed and lived with his wife. When i asked him he admitted to it but added that he was living with her becuz when he went to maine to work he lost everything so the only place he had to go was with her but that she did her on thing. Again as a young girl i believed it. Exspecially when i noticed he spent every moment of the day with me at my house and when he would get out of work he would come to me and when he was at work he would be on the phone with me. Til one day the woman called she wanted him home and well i allowed him to go> It was very weird how i got here but u know something there was something very wrong in there relationship. I had a feeling that he wasn't being hosnest so i questioned his son! so He told me that he knew his ex since they were young and when he met her again in high school she was pregnant by her husband. He told me that she poored her eyes off telling him that she was living a horrible life with her husband that she didn't want that kind of life so he decided to get her away from it. he took a big responsiblity at the age 18. So he told me that he learned to love her and he fell in love with me! So i allowed for the relationship to continue! One night he came to our apartment and he told me that we needed to talk! So we did> He told me that he loved me and he wanted to be with me that he wanted to start a life with me but that he could never leave his wife. He told me that while i was at work or school he would go visit his daughter and ofcourse the wife would be there. He also said that while he lives with me he would be paying the bills for his ex I was crushed i didn't know what to say he told me that it would always be me him and his wife. Again i was young and i agreed i was in love with this man and i was willing to do anything to keep him. But one day he picked me up and said that him and his ex got into it and she told him to get out and that why does he go if no one wants him there! He told me that its been going on for awhile> So i told him why do u stay in a place that ur not wanted, next thing u know the next day all his stuff was at our apartment. I was still in the terms that he can continue to pay her bills i didn't mind.
one thin g led to another that he came home and said that his ex was kicking his mother out as well so i suggested that since we had two bed rooms she can come and live with us.
he was most happy because i referred to his mom as my mom he said that he has never heard anyone call his mom "mom" now it turns again turns out the i found the woman at a target she and a guy were following me and i didn't know why til i noticed that the car she was in was one of the same as the one my husband just bought. I called my husband to tell him his ex was following me and that a man was in the car was with her! he totally didn't believe me he said i was lying. so a week later my husband came home and said that his ex is moving out of the house and that he needed to go so he can be with his mom. I didn't want to move in the ex's house i cryed and begged him no so but becuz i loved him i did. as soon as i moved in with him i started hearing roamers that the ex was saying that my husband kicked her out to put me in it! But that wasn't true she moved away and i knew why because she had someone else. Becuz one of my husband conditions of him paying he bills she had to continue living alone and have no relationship with men. Turns out the amonth after she moved aways she was pregnant of two months by another man. AT the time the woman didn't allow my husband to see his daughter because she was 2 years old. She was very angry with him. I started to notice that my husband was depressed and missed his daughther so i think thats were i messed up! I sent my husband to meet his ex and to talk to the ex to try to talk about it. So he did he called her and met her at a peter piper pizza he didn't know she had been pregnant but some how the woman gave him a sob story and said that she was living with her sister and that they got in to a fight and that she need to get out because her sister sold all her stuff. That she need money to move out. she even asked him why he was there he told her that i was a good woman that i understood and trust me i did.he came home that day and told me that he was gonna give her ($900) to get a place of her own so i agreed i didn't say much but i knew she was lying. 3 days later i get a phone call from my husband that he wasn't coming home because he had something to do, i asked him what is it he told me that he got a phone call saying that his ex was with anopther man. I asked him why do u care shes not with u now more he told me if u want things to fine between me and u, u have to let me do this i need to catch her.. So i did! Turns out she had been dating a guy and and my husbands family saw her. Ofcourse he was on the blue tooth with me until 3 am when my husband saw her getting out of a car with some guy. he hung up and told me he would call me back. 10 minutes later i get a phone call to the house from his ex telling me to tell my husband to give her back her car. I told her why did he take away ur car she said i don't know. at the same time my husband calls me to the cell and tells me to hang up and to not answer her, meanwhile she is telling me that the reason he doesn't want me to talk to her is becuz they had sex. so itell her when and where she said the time u let him come to peter piper i told her so then ur saying u had sex in the car she said yes so i told her so ur saying ur a bad mother u left ur kids unattended in the pizza she said yes then no i hung up on her cuz it was obious that she was lying. i told myhusband what she said and well i cryed and said how could u he told me not to believe it she was saying it becuz of the car that he took all the cars away i told him why would u do that he said because he wanted to give her the green one instead and not the one she had i asked but why leave it to her why do u want it how would she get around he said i will give her urs and told him no leave her the car. so that was that night! He left her the car but he didn't give her the $900. then shortly after another problem occured his momwas staying with us and turns out the ex called wanting my husband to give her money to get her husband out of jail. Honestly i didn't agree in this because how is getting her husband out of jail helps his daughter at least he said that he has to know his daugther is fine. But i didnt under stand how this man affected his daughter in any way. So my husband did it anyways only this time i went with him to the ex house ofcourse i stayed in the car. the girl was pregnant again and it got me so mad that my huband was comforting her and rubbing her arms and hugging her so she wouldn't cry. I remember the ex glancing at me and asking my husband and why is she letting u do this he told her because she is a good woman. as soon as that was over i conforted my husband he told me that because she was pregnant he was comforting her i told him what is the kid urs why do u need to comfort her she should be glad ur helping! BY now me and my husband started getting into more argueements and lots of it had to do with her i think in the few days we fought more then a marryed couple of 50 years. My husband started spending time with his ex driving her around to get her husband out. When i call him he wouldnt want to answer when i tell him i love u he wouldnt tell me istead he would yell at me and tell me that why do i want to rub it in her face i new my husband was sitting next to her when he said that he wasn't i know my husband sat her in the front sit instead of the back and becuz he is so worryed in comforting her i think he probably held her hand while he drived her. by this time my problems were getting bigger so much bigger that after my husband took the ex's husband out of jail, they started having excuses to be together he took her chrismas shopping whenthat should of been with me. Shortly after that i started working and shile i was working i noticed that my husband would be tlkin to his ex every day he would sit in front of me talking and nothing about the kids it was about when he goes to work when i go to work stuff like that i started to become angry. At the moment i was holding up a job and school. One day one of my friends went looking for me at my house and turns out that friend was like no other she saw something and didnt tell me til i asked. everything was going good for about 2 weeks my husband got sick and i went out to get some meds when i called my friend and she told me that the ex was at my house. i was furious so i went home packed my sh** I have never disrespected my husband like this in my life but i did i cursed him and his mother because while he is sick and me by his side like a dog meanwhile he has been secretly bringing the ex over. i left and i tryed not to look back but i was in love i took him back and i tryed it one more time i put rules done but it wasn't to long before they were broken i started a new and better job while i was there my had this horrible feeling that something was wrong i knew i need to be home at the hour to get out my husband called me on the exsact hour i get out to tell me to get a banna split when my husband never done this always wanted me straight home. Ignoring the felling i went. turns out he had the ex there again. So this time i moved out for good he said he does it for his mom because she is old but thats not it. I got my own apartment he wanted to continue seeing me and continue having the ex at his house i asked him not to talk to the woman at my apartment and he did he was getting out of control i love him so much that i was putting up with to much. meanwhile i was getting used to his daughter i fell in love with his daughter she was the greatest. she was small and little so innocent so loveable she loved being with me of course i continued caring for his son but i never got attached to him because i knew it wasnt his. everything i got his daughter i got him. I always bought their presents or anything they wanted. One day my husband brought his kids to my house and allbecause the ex was going in to labor he went to be with the ex during her delivery i was honestly becoming more dummer then before. yet loving his daughter. His daughter would tell me that her dad would kiss her mom and that he would go see his ex sometimes not even to see her i mean here i had a 4 year old telling me all these thing my mind was going crazy. here i had a awesome lil girl loveable kind sweet and a husband with the ex and out of control/ one day i got out of work and i was going to my husbands house and i here the new born crying i knew she was there. I had noticed that his mom was acting strange and i told him something was wrong she needed help he told me to go visit my ex that his ex was coming. i told him i am not going to my ex i have nothing to do with him i am ur wife and i am staying i have rights here. so there i was face to face with his ex wife we were trying to figure out what was happening with his mother when the ex suggest it might be witch craft at the time i didnt know what she was trying to say but i do now. So there i was somehow by the end of the night my place as his wife i indupt as his dog, u wont believe it but the ex was in the house while i was told to wait in the car! Again i became angry i was in there for hours so i called him to the house phone when the ex answers the phone she sounded happy supposely his mother got sick because i started calling her by her name instead of mom. But really was i supposed to call a women who called me the devil and did everything possible to separate me from her son. from my knowledge my mother in law never got along with the ex. my relation ship became cruel. After that night i decided to speak to my husband and i told him you know something ur ex will never stop and u wont either but i think ur right i am going back to try to fix my life with my ex, he really loved me and i should bewith him u will never realize that this woman doesnt want u she only wants u alone." So i called a quits i returned to my old life and he went home i didn't call him at all because i was serious but at 4 am he called me and asked where are u i said where do u think i am i am with my ex i told u that its over. he said he needed to talk to me as bad as it sounds i went to him leaving my ex waiting. when i got to his job he was just sitting there looking down and i told him what is it i told u its over i have a man waiting for me wanting to be with me and i am here with u. he told me that he waited and waited for me to call him that he checked his phone hour after hour and i never called he told me that i was his woman and he soud be taking care of me that he would stop talking to her but that he couldnt stop his mom from doing it that she wasnt worth losing someone he loves. he would do all of it if i returned and that he didnt want me living away no more. So i excepted, i went home Things started to slow down and i got to spend more time with his kids but it wasnt from from problems free my husband stop talking to his ex but now his ex started hitting my stepdaughter because she would call me mom or because she would tell me she loved me it was weird that the woman would know things like that but i found out that her brother was telling her mom. I started to notice the boy started to rebel it came to a point that he started saying that i had to buy them school supplys if my husband didnt i told the little boy i am sorry to tell u but i dont have to do anything and ur father doesnt either he pays his child support and thats all he need to do but if we do it its cause he loves yah. this contiuned for months until one day i told the boy to get ready to go to bed and he looked at me like he wanted to kill me! we had a problem i started not to care for him i stopped buying him things and i didnt take him where i took my husband daughter. with time he stopped copming and well i started changing my step daughters room more into a girls room so he decided not to come anymore. the ex put so many things in his head that i think thats what turned him. IF not he probably would of still been coming over. First off the boy wasnt my husbands so i felt less willing to take care of him. But u would think the ex would be grateful that i was. to finish faster after the boy stopped coming the lil girl wasn't getting hit as much. Only when she would go home and say nice things about me. But that didnt stop the ex from fu**ing with me. the ex started bother in forms as calling my husband for directions to childsupport. I mean i am a woman and the smartest thing to do is pick up the phone call child support and ask for directions. I told my husband to put a stop to it so he did. it became a habit for his ex to start problems when ever she broke up with her boyfriends. SHe would stop bothering when she had one then start up when she didn't. I don't celebrate valentines because one day she called my husband at his job that she was taking his daughter to houston to live. I noticed that they were talking because he always calls me but this time he didn't so i tell him why are u blowing me off. he told me why. He talked to her all night he didnt call me til like 2 am but i didnt answer him because he was wrong i had a feeling that it was crap. he came in the morning and he was suppoesed to go with me to the doctor i was going to stop birthcontrol so we can plan a family but instead he stayed in the car talking to her it got me mad because it was valentine day and they were still on the phone. and if it was true what he said why stay in the car why not come out and talk inside he wasn't supposed to talk to her with out me being around. so i winded up going to the clinic alone he called me at 10:30am thats what time he got off the phone. he was rushing me to get out the clinic to hurry to get home. instead of getting off the birthcontrol i chose to stay on it. he ruined my valetines day. we argueed all day. I told him watch the b**** not even go to houston 3months from now u will see her ass will still be here. Thats when he slapped me for talk about the ex. I think my problems got worst. after came the stage when she hooked up with a guy that didn't allow her to talk to my husband so she started talking to me tryed to but she started telling me things. then she broke up with him and wanted to talk to my husband again. She started say things against me she would find any excuse. this continued for years but now 8 and a half years later we are still in the same thing now more then ever i am hurting.every year i got my step daughter gifts i took her out i hung out with her we became bestfriends. up until a few months ago. In july i made a face book for my step daughter to be able to talk to me because when she was 8 she i bought her a cell that her mom didnt allow her to have because she aways called me. well in july the ex got ahold of my stepdaughters facebook password and saw some pictures of me and her and on one of them i ut " if u didn't know any better u would have thought she was mine" SHe got so affended that she started talking trash like there is only one mom! blood atracks blood! and her sister started doing the same. i made my husband aware of it but he blew it off. one of my friends started talking to them telling them that she should be greatful that i loved her daughter and took good care of her. so it blew up big i dont have my husband ex's facebook cuz i blocked her but my friend did. my friend kept telling me that they would talk crap and telling the world that my husband beats me and that he never beat her. her sister would say that my husband was cheating on me with the ex. mean while i am telling my friend not to waste her time to just block them. so she doesnt thse woman wanted to get me to answer but since i cant see them i couldnt and i dont think i would of because i have always told my step daughter that as long as she is young i will never disrespect her mother. and i havent. this woman has done everything to me she told the world i cant have kids because my oulvarys are frozen but that isnt true i just take care of myself. this womand has 5 different kids 5 different fathers and the lst one she doesnt know who it belongs too. i remember this woman went to the childsupport court which i went to and she went home and told the lil girl that my husband hugged her and told her she was precious and gorgues that he missed her and still loved her. I know the lil girl wants her mom and dad together but she isn't helping lying to her. well back to the facebook she was so jeoulous of the relationship of me and my stepdaughter that she told my husband that it was me that made all the comments. Also she said that i wasnt the lil girl mother. Honestly, i have never told the lil girl to call me mom i have always done the oppisite i have always told her to call me by my name that i was not her mom and i would never be. a lil time before this y step daughter has been acting up but i havent payed mind to it til this situation. with facebook. the lil girl was here for the summer only lasted one week she locked me in the rooms she hit me she threw salt at me and she told me i couldnt have kids cause i was frozen inside that her father would never marry me by church cause he loves her mom and that i will never have kids with her dad. I was crushed her was this innocent lil girl which i would give the world for that turned agaianst me. the mother would tell her that if we had kids i would kick her out like i did her brother. that i didnt love her i only acted like i loved her because of her father. and much more. well now the lil girl is no longer close to me she is now talking bad about me on face book. and what makes it worst my husband family is best friends with the ex they preffer the ex. they post facebook pics of them together. and they talk to each other all the time recently the ex asked the lil girl to tell her dad to give her the lincolns ls which is mind. I am having lots of problems with my husband all because his family can't except me. to then the daughter in law/ and / sister in law is the ex. just yesturday i walked out of his family house because his mom told me that i knew what i was getting in to that the ex was and will always be there. so i screamed at her that u know what u jujst want that woman to win and u will allways want her to win u know she wins...so can someone tell me what is wrong and what is the advice. how would u hand this i think i am about to exploded i cant take it no more!!!!!!!!! i have no respect from the ex the daughther my husband now the family...

Tiffani K, I have a great relationship with my ex-dh. We have 3 kids together and have been married for 15 years before we got divorced. We are better as friends and don't want to be married anymore. I have also remarried. But, my ex and I do speak alot because of the children and believe that it's in everyone's best interest for us to be on good terms with each other. Because we've been married for such a long time, we do have many ties to each other, mutual friends, etc. He knows my family very well and I know his too.

My ex is not in a relationship now so I can't tell you how his new gf feels, but I can tell you things from the ex-wife's perspective if that would help. Honestly, I care and love my ex-dh very much and I believe he feels the same way. Not in the way a married couple would, but in a "we have a long history and children together and we know each other very well" kind of way.

If you decide to stay with your BF, I would try to befriend his ex too. You may just find that you have nothing to worry about. Your BF and his ex will probably respect your sense of boundaries if you approach things from a calm, sensible manner and explain your point of view clearly.

I experience almost everything that everyone here is talking about .... Except the crazy ex in my life has gone as far as trying to tell me they are sleeping together (which i 100% do not believe cause my bf despises her even more then I) and she says things like dont worry he came on my stomach so im not pregnant, a couple nights ago she went as far as to send him a naked picture of herself. Shes almost TWICE my age and never have I retaliated with everything she has done. Its been a long hard road, I have almost thrown the towel in a few times.

I NEED ADVICE FOR YOU LADIES!!! I am currently dating a guy in his mid 40's & I am 26. He is divorced with 2 kids. I have never dated someone this older than me in age OR anyone that has had childern before. This is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. I think the hardest part is dealing with the ex wife. She does not respect our relationship & sometimes even tells the kids not to make me things or give me presents. I can handle that but what I can't handle is that I feel my BF cares too much of his ex wife's feelings. He often sends her photos of the kids & is always letting her get away not picking up the kids on time or forgetting plans (when she is suppose to take them). My BF's dad picks up the kids EVERY day from school & watches them til she gets off work at 7pm. Oh and also she only has them Sunday night, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. In those times, she only sees them from 7PM til they go to bed at what? 9pm? They are only 8 and 11!! We have them every single weekend & I just got my BF to agree to possibly splitting weekends that she is not agreeing to. I just feel that everything is directed toward making her happy and giving her what she wants. It is very bothersome to me and its getting to the point where I can't handle much more. I respect that he has kids, which love me dispite what their mom probably says about me. We have been dating over a year now & I need your advice on how to approach him on these issues. Everytime I bring something up he gets VERY upset. How should I approach the ex wife problem and spending QUALITY time together..which we hardly get because he has the kids every weekend. Thanks for your advice !!!

Wow. I can completely relate! My bf of two years has an ex-wife very much the same. We went through to custody cases (where nothing changed) and also a criminal case with her. She once told her child to punch me in my face. He didnt even know me at the time. I have been where you are, on that edge of leaving. I made the decision to stick through it all. I even went to counseling with her, not that it miraculously changed things, but I was willing. If he and his children are what you want, don't break. Trust me. If all the problems are with her, hang in there. Dont let someone else control your happiness. It sucks that she is what she is and its obviously not going to change but hopefully it will at least die down. Just mind your P's and Q's and dont give her any ammuntion, although it seems like that won't take much. Hang in there!

she don't require to be vocation niggling about an important person or somethings on or after their precedent.

Don't attend functions where BM will be there. Its enough that both bio-parents attend. If the step-kids ask why just be honest.

It's so nice to see that I am not alone. My bf and I have been together for over 2 years. Together we have 3 children. He and his son moved in with me, my son, and daughter the beginning of the year. I have my kids 95% of the time and he has his son 50% of the time. Our kids get along great and his son tells everyone that he has 2 moms. I have never had any problems with his son and treat him as if he was my own. His ex-wife, however, cannot handle their son and calls and texts constantly because of this. It never fails that during these conversations the subject always changes from their son to other things. They will have social hour when they drop off or pick up their son and this social hour also occurs quite frequently via phone calls/texts during the week - they have sometimes been on the phone for over an hour. I have made numerous comments/jestures for him to wrap it up and when he does he has to make some comment about me being jealous. I am not jealous, I just feel that his actions are disrespectful to me. He responds by saying that he does it to make her feel uncomfortable and to rub in the fact that he has moved on to bigger and better things. I feel his obsession to rub this in has completely diluted his level of respect for me. When I tell him that I don't deal with my ex in a like manner, he says "you hate your ex - I dislike my ex". To my response I say "that's not what you used to say". He would always tell me that he can't stand his cheating ex-wife who tried every means possible to destroy him and frequently will try stuff to get away with. Now to hear them talk you would think that they were great buddies. He also will call her up to find out stuff that he can easily look up or find out himself or with my help and he doesn't - he just goes straight to her. It's like he's relying on her just as much as she relies on him. He says he doesn't but that just because he doesn't see it. I don't know how to handle this and until reading the other posts, I did not realize all the other individuals going through the same thing. His ex is putting a strain on our relationship and I just don't know what I should do or how I should feel about this behavior. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated.

Honestly cut ties with the BM just stop communicating and don't say anything over the top if you have to. I see BM as someone I do business with any communication I have with her follows that role. It is a civil business relationship nothing more... if she goes over the top with me she gets a reply that I will be treated with respect as I do her. Stand your ground but do not get personal as hard as that is. If you feel that urge call up your friend or go on here and let loose

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My name is Mrs. Anita David, From USA, and I`m happily married with a lovely husband and three children. I had a very big problem with my husband few months ago, to the extent that he even packed his things away from our house. He left me and and my kids for almost 1 year, and i tried all my possible best and effort to bring him back. l discussed it with a very good friend of mine, and he gave me an advice concerning a spell caster, that he is the only one that can handle my situations and problem, that he is always ready and able to do anything related to spell casting and helping of the needy, please everyone i would like you all to contact him with his email address,which is as follows (dr.iyere@hotmail.com) I never believed in spell casting, but my friend convinced me and i had no choice than to follow my friend advice, because i never dreamed of loosing my lovely Husband. And i contacted him with his email address, (dr.iyere@hotmail.com) and i discussed with him all my problems and worries and so surprisingly, he told me that I`ll get my husband back 5 days after. I did`t believed Him, until when i got home, the next day, my husband called me to inform me that he is coming back home.. So Amazing!! That`s how i got my Husband back through spell casting and our relationship was stronger than ever. One of the price i was asked to pay was to tell it to the people around me that problems like this, can always be solved by Dr. Iyere, So! my advice to you out there is to visit this same E-mail address, (dr.iyere@hotmail.com) and tell him your problems too, if you are in any condition related to love issue or getting your ex back or any problem at all, please Contact him and have a happy life. you can contact him via email (dr.iyere@hotmail.com)

i am Lisa Hall, i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 2 years and we have two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come again and he called me that he want a divorce, I asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying that he want a divorce and that he hates me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do, i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. I contacted Dr. Iyere, at (dr.iyere@hotmail.com) for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman that she cast a spell on him that is why he hates me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they cast the spell and after 3 days my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still love me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that the Dr. Iyere, casted out on him that made him come back to me, today me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr. Iyere, for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great help. i want you my friends who are passing through this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact (dr.iyere@hotmail.com) and you will see that your problem will be solved.

Hi guys, I am a 32 year old sm of 3 kids, ss 9, ss 7 & sd 3. I have been with my bf on and off for 3 years. A year ago we made a real commitment to be together and he moved into his own place (as he had lived with her due to financial reasons). The entire time we have been together, the bm has lied on me countless times trying to get him to believe I was cheating on him. Finally he stopped listening to her. When that stopped working for her she would stop for a little bit and then start back. She would tell part-truths and part-lies to try to make it believable. For example, she told him 1 day that she drove by my house and my door was open (which it was) and that a guy was walking out of the house (which didn't happen). He finally stood up to her enough to get her to stop for real. When he had moved out on his own she came over ALL the time and made excuses to have to be there. And he would never make her go home so she was there all the time. I warned him as soon as he moved out that she would "run out of money" and "have" to come live with him. Then, about 3 months later she "couldn't pay her rent" and didn't tell him until it was too late and she was being evicted. So, she had no where to go with 3 kids, so she had to move in with him. I allowed it b/c I was told it would be no more than 2 weeks tops. A month later she was still there, as I knew she would be, and so he decided to move in with me b/c she could never get her s**t right. She tried her best to get him to not move in with me but he did anyway. She tried to say "because of the kids" that he shouldn't move in with me. So, we have been living together for 3 months. She comes over ALL the time and stays for hours (sometimes its been 6-8 hours). I have expressed my feelings about this with the bf as I feel he should be the one handling it. He says he understands and he talks to her and it is better for about a week and then she's back to coming over all the time. She also tried a couple months ago to "befriend" me and told me that she doesn't want him and now that he has moved on that she wouldn't want him back even if he wanted her back. She started telling me that he has cheated on me with many females including her (but not to tell him that she said it or she would deny it). It kind of got to me for a second and then I realized this was another of her many ploys. So, then she is back to coming over all the time and doesn't talk to me like her bestie anymore (which is fine with me). He doesn't seem to mind her being there (or anything she does) and says that they are still good friends and she has no one else, and that he wants the kids to see that they can get along. He has no problem showing affection to me in front of the kids (not anything like making out, but just like rubbing my arm going past or looking deeply in my eyes). It isn't so the kids will see it, but if they do then it isn't an issue, but he won't do it in front of bm and rarely will even call me baby in front of her b/c she gives him h*ll about it later. The bm had also started saying the kids were doing badly in school b/c of the split. And the middle child has told her that he never gets to spend time with his dad (isn't true, but dad was working quite a lot at the time), and that he wanted to come to our house, even when his dad isn't there to wait on him, and that he hates her for keeping him away. He then cried to his dad saying that he wanted him to come home and be with bm again. My bf explained why that couldn't happen. BM also, at this time, started telling my bf that she was going to date someone (finally!!). I knew it was just to get a reaction and he did react but said it was b/c he didn't like the idea of the kids being around a man that he doesn't know and who might lay a hand on them. I told him that she only told him that to see if he still cared and he showed her that he did. He didn't say he agreed or not. She never went out with the guy, surprise surprise. Then, later she told him again that she was going to go out with someone. This time he told her that that was great and to have a good time, and even gave her a little money to make sure she had a good time. He didn't ask her how it went, which wasn't the reaction she wanted, and a few days later, come to find out, she went out with her mom and her mom's gf's. Wasn't even with a guy! I told him again that anything she says about going out is just to see if he cares.

Now, the ex just got a new job (my bf has been paying practically all of her bills b/c she was working a little job making nothing and wouldn't go look for anything else, to where he hasn't even been able to contribute to our bills). But every single time she drops the kids off now to go to work she brings her work clothes and changes in our house. I wanna be like, dummy... put your work clothes on before you leave your house! Now, sometimes I am home for this but many times I am not b/c I work later than when she is supposed to be at work. I have asked bf why she does this and he just says he doesn't know. It bothers the crapola out of me b/c how do I know she isn't trying to show her (fat) body off when I am not there? And everytime I bring her up or ask a question about what she is doing and why, he gets mad and tells me to stop. He doesn't like being in the middle b/c she does the same thing about me. A week or so ago, when she was leaving (which takes her at least 30 mins to finally leave b/c she just keeps saying she's leaving but never does), they walked outside (which they always do, which drives me crazy, and talk for 30 more mins to an hour) and she cried to him and told him that I am taking her place. He told her that she has to let go of her feelings for him and move on and if she feels some type of way that she has to push it aside. And he said he's noticed a difference b/c she don't make a face now when he shows me flirty attention. He acts like her trying to win him over is a thing of the past, but I know she will still try.

I just want him to stand up to her more. I know he does do some things and he tries in many ways to show me that he's with me and doesn't want her but I just don't see how he can be fine with her doing things she does. I don't see why he would want his EX to spend hours at our house every time she comes over. She NEVER just drops the kids off. Ever. Frustrating...

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What else can i say rather than to thank Doctor Okpamen who God used to reunite my marriage. Each day of my life, i ask God to bless Dr. Okpamen for he has made my life complete by bringing back my husband to me and for this reason, i made a vow to my self that i will testify on the internet to let the world know that Dr. Okpamen is a God on Earth. My husband and i had a fight for three days which led to our divorce. On this faithful day, i came across a testimony of how Dr. Okpamen helped a lady in getting back her lover. So, i contacted him and explained to him and he told me that my days of sorrows are over that my husband will come back to me within 12 to 16 hours. Could you believe it, my husband came home begging that he needs me back. Do you need any kind of help? Contact him now via email: Doctorokpamenspelltemple@hotmail.com or Website: http://doctorokpamenpowerfulspelltemple.webs.com or you can call me for more info on +1 785-219-4717 Becky Nolan.

This article is dedicated to the Doctor Osemu Okpamen from Africa. My boyfriend left me because i had CANCER of the breast for 2 years. I seek for help from my home doctor but he couldn't do anything towards my condition not until a friend of mine from high school directed me to this genuine spell Doctor called Osemu Okpamen. I contacted him via his email ( Doctorokpamenspelltemple@hotmail.com ) and he assured me that my CANCER will be cured and my boyfriend will come back to me as well. I took his words with faith and today am been cured from CANCER and my boyfriend is back to me as well all within 24 hours after i contacted him. If there's anyone out there that needs his help should get in touch with him now via Website: doctorokpamenpowerfulspelltemple.webs.com, what'sapp him or call him on +2348135254384. RAMEY LAURA LEE. (901) 231-7127, USA

My life was destroyed when my husband sent me packing, after 13 years we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to my husband back to me. One day at work, I was distracted, not knowing that my boss called me, so he sat and asked me what it was all about, I told him and he smiled and said it was no problem. I never understood what he meant by it was no problem getting back my husband, he said he used a spell to get back his wife when she left him for another man, and now they are together till date and initially I was shocked hearing something from my boss. He gave me an email address of the Prophet Abuvia which helped him get his wife back, I never believed that this would work, but I had no choice coming into contact with the sayings that I get done, and he asked for my information and that my husband was able to propose to throw him the spell and I sent him the details, but after two days, my mother called me that my husband was pleading that he wants me back, I never believed, because it was just a dream and I had to rush off to my mother's place and to my greatest surprise, was kneeling my husband beg me for forgiveness that he wants me and the child back home, when I gave prophet Abuvia a conversation regarding sudden change of my husband and he made clear to me that my husband will love me until the end of the world, that he will never leave for another woman. Now me and my husband is back together and started doing funny things he has not done before, he makes me happy and do what it is supposed to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind need, please contact Prophet Abuvia for help. His email is prophet.abuvia@gmail.com his website is http://prophetAbuviasolutiontemple.webs.com/