Can there be a court order to provide work schedule?
SD9 has made some statements that make it seem like BM may have a new schedule as nightshift. DH asked BM about her schedule as he thinks SD shpuld be here for overnights. She goes to school here in our district/county per a court order. BM lives 30 min away and they share week on off 50/50. BM told DH her work schedule is none of his business and she doesn't have to provide him with any information. Can DH get a court order that they have to disclose their work hours to eachother?
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Ostensibly he could, if there
Ostensibly he could, if there were a refusal clause in the existing CO, but if that's not there, then there's no reason that she has to prove she's home or not.
I'm thinking unless it's a
I'm thinking unless it's a ROFR issue in the CO that as long as the girl isn't being left ALONE at night that it should not necessarily be a problem. Of course, it would be nice if DH knew so that he could make sure that his daughter is free to call him anytime even at night if she needs him.
Is the worry that SD is being
Is the worry that SD is being left home alone at night? If so you might be able to step in on safety concerns. I don't know if 9 is quite old enough to be left completely alone for that long even if she should be asleep during the hours.
My brother in law did becuase
My brother in law did becuase my sister works nights and she must provide him a monthly schedule.
There is no ROFR. So it
There is no ROFR. So it sounds like he should get that put in as an order and also request work schedules alongside it?
Not necessarily. Unless he
Not necessarily. Unless he is concerned about WHO is watching the child while she is asleep. Potentially, the ex may be there in the evenings to eat dinner and tuck her in and then goes to work and comes home in time for breakfast. Remember whatever is put on HER would be put on your own household.
As long as your DH doesn't
As long as your DH doesn't suspect abuse or neglect, he should leave it alone. If a BM asked for info like that, she'd be called nosy and controlling.
If Dad works days and (in the
If Dad works days and (in the event BM works nights), is Dad prepared to give BM all day during school breaks and summer while he is working? I bet not.
See, ROFR goes two ways. If Dad intends to try and get BM's hours taken away while she is working, Dad needs to be willing to do the same.
As long as BM has a sitter who is there while BM is working, what does it matter if it is sleeping hours for the child? The kid is asleep. She would be asleep at Dad's house too. ROFR is to allow the opposite to spend time with the child, not listen to kid snore.
Dad's attempt is nothing more than trying to punish the mother for working. Dad works, kid is in school or in summer with someone else while he is working. But perhaps because BM works say 10pm to 6am Dad's wants to take those hours even though Dad, himself, would not be spending any waking hours with the child during that try of ROFR.
IF bm is not able to be
IF bm is not able to be present for extended amounts of time Yuppers, dad should request modification. This is a change of circumstances.
I don't care if Santa Claus comes to babysit the child overnight, BIO PARENT trumps babysitters or boyfriends or grannys. DAD should have custody MOM can do eow or what ever fits her work schedule.
Yes parents should exchange work schedules. Sad thing is they can be court ordered too but doesn't mean they will be provided. UNBELIEVABLE but true. Happened to us. smh
REMEMBER op, if there is nothing to hide, hide nothing.
twoviewpoints,,,bm can have
twoviewpoints,,,bm can have eow and 1/2 of holidays. Standard visitation like dads get.
PLEASE knock it off with DAD punishing MOM for working. That is crap and you know it.
Sounds more to me that mom is refusing to give dad more time with the children because she doesn't want to give up child support $$$
Dad has 50/50 now...that's
Dad has 50/50 now...that's why I asked if Dad has to give the kids to BM while he goes to work during the day. Probably no child support at 50/50, so if you're seeing a CS grab I'd say it's on Dad's part.
Reading.. It's essential.
We do not have all the
We do not have all the details twoview points. Its IS essential to also quit the crap "dad is punishing MOM for having a job". Is that all YOU have?
It looks like THIS BM is refusing to co-parent in a reasonable manner not providing dad significant details about her work schedule and SHE is now punishing dad because HE has 50 50 and cs has been greatly reduced if not zeroed out. It is not as if MOM is running to the Fill and Fizz for soda. Looks like MOM wants to leave the child unattended to me and not tell dad about it.
WAY to go MOM.
Leave the child unattended?
Leave the child unattended? Where are you getting this?
OP doesn't even know what swing shift hours (she's googling generic info) may be and you are assuming an unattended child.
I'd certainly suggest both you ladies collect factual pertinent information before either attempt going before a judge. *shrugs*
OP posted this without some
OP posted this without some needed information.
We have no idea if the child is being left alone or not which is of most importance.
Nor do we know exact hours. If mom's away while the child is sleeping then so what. She still deserve to keep 50 / 50 because she is able to be there with the child before and after school. She shouldn't lose that time just because she has to work. That's rediculaus.
My partners ex refused to let him have the children for his whole weekend because one night he had to do an extra shift from 12 AM to 8 AM. I would have been with the children while they slept so he lost ALL of that other time just because he was working while they slept. It's rediculaus.
Many parents work nights and sleep while their kids are at school. It causes no harm to the child but losing the time before and after school would.
Unless you can show the child is being left alone over night or that the mother is not with the child at all then leave it alone. Even if the child is being left with a step parent leave it alone because that's still their family and yes what if the same was done to you. Oh dad works days you can't get them at all during the summer.
So DH talked to BM and she
So DH talked to BM and she only said she works swing shift but wont define the hours. We are not sure what that means but a google search said 3-11 or overnight. He feels a 3-11 shift means SD doesnt even see BM after school, so she should stay with him those shifts.
But that would still take
But that would still take away her ability to parent in the morning before school IF she works 3 to 11.
My boyfriend works over nights now which is 9 PM to about 6 AM so over the summer the kids were with me at night. Should he have lost all of his time just because he wasn't with them while they slept?
Who is the child with while she is at work? If it's "family" be it a commited partner or direct family then leave it alone. The kid deserves to spend time with BM's family also as long as she's being cared for. I understand if the girls just being passed from person to person but this situatuon is normal for many families.
Don't punish the women for working what hours she can. Would you rather she quit? Because there are cases that parents can have 50 / 50 and the higher earning parent is STILL required to pay child support.
Basicly stop for a second and consider what is best for the child? If she is safe and being taken care of then leave mom alone. Many single parents chose to work night shifts and let a family member watch the child over night because that means they can be with the child before school and after until close to bed time.
If there are issues the sure deal with them but that's not what's being presented.
I still ask who is the child with if not mom?
I agree... if he pushes this,
I agree... if he pushes this, the woman is likely to quit this job and not earn as much and then she would retain her share of the custody.. but in the balance of CS.. perhaps he would end up paying more.
Unless there is an issue with the arrangements that BM has made for her daughter's care while she works, I don't know that I would throw a wrench in things unless there are other factors that would call for it.
Also here swing shift means
Also here swing shift means the hours change regularly. Meaning one day she works nights then next maybe afternoon then the next days. It's really hard on a person but doesn't mean the child is being neglected.
Let's also add one other
Let's also add one other thing. If she doesn't want to provide it and it's not in the CO then it would mean going to court. Which cost money and honestly unless you can prove that the child is in harm will likely result in nothing changing. Even if she does work nights as long as she can show the child is safe and cared for I don't see a judge changing a custody order.
It would punish the mother for actually working to provide for her daughter. It's just wrong.
There is no child support
There is no child support exhanged. DH doesn't want money. SD is frustrated because she says someone different is always picking her up or dropping her off at school. Or sometimes BM or someone drops her at the before school daycare. She never knows who is going to be watching her. Never knows who to look for at school pickup. From SDs comments it's either BM, grandpa, grandma, the ex-stepfather, or friends/coworkers of BM. BM wont tell DH who is watching SD as it's "none of his business" and the same phrase applies to her work schedule. DH is trying to provide some consistency. He is home before SD gets off the bus at our home every day. Our residence is primary for the school. BM lives in the next city adjacent to us.
I can see how the girl could
I can see how the girl could be frustrated by that. Has your DH explained that THIS is the reason that he is asking about her schedule... that in theory, he really is not concerned with her work hours, but it does become a concern when he hears complaints from his daughter that she doesn't feel secure with all the changes on a day to day basis.
Maybe his EX could set up a more reliable and stable pickup system so that the girl isn't so insecure?
HEY if a dad had a work
HEY if a dad had a work schedule like this do you really THINK BM's would not pitch a fit and demand full custody.
Courts do NOT wag their fingers when bms present evidence dad works crazy hours, they are given full custody and dad can HOPE to see his kids eow if he is lucky.
So, good, this mom has a job WHOPPEE doooo.
She better reconsider giving dad that schedule or HIS lawyer may suggest going for full custody since mom cant keep it together and co parent.
Courts are also still a bit
Courts are also still a bit more "mom-centric" in their decision making process. It might be a little less likely that the BM would have custody yanked so quickly.
It also is a possibility that the EX would simply change to a different job (that may pay less) and the court proceeding would end up being a reshuffle of support in her favor.
OMG dontfeedthetrolls, are
OMG dontfeedthetrolls, are you really going there too
PUNSHING MOM for having a job so she can provide for her daughter??? LUDICRUSE .
Such statements are feminist and 'snowflake' I cant stand it.
OK, I am out.
(op child protection and safety first for some reason some parents forget this)