Money. Career Choices. Kids.

In that order...and that is really all we argue about. And we don't argue that much. If DH was settled in a career I think we wouldn't argue at all, because we get along beautifully and, contrary to my fears, skids are starting to launch and I'm not feeling overwhelmed by them anymore.

We don't really argue, but DH gets A LOT of pushback from me when it comes to his mom.

My MIL has instigated the whole "poor skid is a COD and needs to remain #1" and "y'all just need to get over yourselves and be friends with BM" crap.

MIL has taken this whole step life thing way harder than anyone else. It's a problem.

My DH thinks I am perfect lol well I am not, but he was in abusive marriage with someone who treated him poorly AND never worked for all years of marriage so compare to that I can do no wrong.

My only complains about DH are that he is easily distracted and forgets things like leaves doors open or lights on. I am obsessed with how house looks, it has to be certain ways so I get upset if he doesn't leave it perfect.

But those are minor complaints, he is an angel.

So far we haven't argued about SKids because we are on the same page. But we also newly weds❤️ First year anniversary. Hope things stay the way they are.

With my exSO of a long time all we argued about was his kids. Everything else was so good but his obsession with adult kids and their behavior killed the relationship for me.

We used to argue - well it was more of me yelling at him - about BM and how much she ran our lives with her schedule. It finally stopped when I missed a day with a friend because at the last minute the DB decided that she wasn't taking the oldest SS to a football camp and I took him because SO paid $500 and could not get the day off work. It has never happened again. 1. SS19 is now away at college and 2. SS14 lives with us full time so BM isn't in the picture.

We don't argue about the kids. I voice my unhappiness with something and walk away. If he decides to fix it he does, if not, then not my problem.

We actually don't argue much at all. We are on the same page about most things; ie money, kids, cleaning, etc. and we both make an effort to try harder in the areas we're not on the same page. For example, he doesn't understand why the house needs to be clean ALL the time lol, but he cleans as much as I do because he knows it's important to me. I don't understand why he needs to spend SO MUCH TIME playing stupid video games, but I ignore it and take SD out with me while he plays once in a while to give him his leisure time.

We're both pretty relaxed and easy-going. I think the best tip I can give any couple is this... give 100% to your spouse and look out for them first and foremost, but both of you need to practice this for it to be successful. If you are both putting each other's needs first, you will always have your needs met and you will minimize any sort of resentment greatly.

I hope I don't jinx the current status. We rarely argue. Previously, it was about skids and DH's propensity to fall for BM's manipulations and financial expectations. (DH paid high child support plus a whole lot more. ). I say previously because I no longer ask about his kids (thanks StepTalk) and have gotten much better expressing my personal feelings (thanks StepTalk, especially Moe and Gimlet).

Otherwise, DH feels like he won the lottery with me and I feel I might have a second love of my life.

kaos. he's been the root of 95% of our arguments in the past. since he got full custody, we argue far less about him, because i can just sit back and let dh get the full, in his face picture and i don't have to say a word anymore. other than that, it's $/finances. but we rarely argue

the key is to disengage from parenting, and choosing your battles within the home. the kids don't run our house, my dh does. but it also depends on your definition of "kids running the house" and if you are being nit-picky or if there are actually large, life-altering issues.

i'll absolutely say stuff to kaos if it is a safety issue or an investment issue. most anything else i turn a blind eye and leave it up to dh to address in whatever way he desires. BUT if and when i DO pipe up, dh always has my back.

Oh ya, we argued quite a bit about BM's ability to get SO to do whatever she wanted and say yes to whatever stupid crap she asked. "It's for the kids" got real old real fast. Although, I wouldn't call it arguing because it was me getting upset/angry, SO listening, and then taking the proper steps to change things. THIS is why BM hates me. She lost control of SO. I guess you could say I have him "whipped" but honestly I just showed him how much he was being taken advantage of.

Otherwise, we argue about really stupid crap......like facts. Thanks to google, this usually ends things. We never solved the "is fish 'meat'?" argument. Google doesn't know everything. SO is too much like his dad and wants to be "right." Too bad that's not how the world works now. It's not the 1970s when no one had the ability to look up everything except what you could find in an encyclopedia.

skids, skids, skids and BMs (not BMs so much anymore because skids are 18 and 19 so really not much contact with skank a doodle dandies anymore)

Really, DH and I don't ever argue about much of anything... except skids.

This has always been the sticky wicket for me as well. At first I was "hands on", and would tell kids to please pick up, please do your dishes, please put rabbit on towel on the couch, please do not have rabbits on the carpet, dog on the furniture, etc. Then I disengaged and had SO do all that, but he felt like he was my attack dog, and did not like it. Then, after receiving much advice here on steptalk, I now do this:

Have discussion with SO about the household and agree on certain household rules ahead of time, so there is no possibility of him doing the "flip-flop", and giving in. Drawing the hard lines, having agreement ahead of time, will create strong united front. Then do not give any inches on these hard lines, ever. None. His parenting and your house managing will overlapp, for example, as regards picking up after themselves, doing their own dishes, and doing it after one ask and not 20 minutes to 2 hours later with 6 askings. All has to be backed up by DH.

You can manage your household, and you can require respect from Skids, while they are residing in your household. Period.

The only thing we have ever argued about, really, is ex-wife texting him and his divorce not being final (this august its one year!) and mostly his parenting/non-parenting of skids.

Our most commons arguments sound like:

"why would you spend money on THAT?"

"Are any of you capable of putting something away after you use it?"

"No, she can't just "switch days" on 5 minutes notice."

animals - and their lack of caring for their zoo..... pisses me off to no extend, you wanted to have animals you will effing care for them.

SO's emotional buying of shit instead of something needed.... he's getting better, but we really do not argue about it lol

I hardly argue with SO anymore, I simply decide oh eff off, not worth fighting about and I ignore him for a couple off days, if SO does not get his way, he either tells me I hate his brat, to which I answer YES I do... or he tells me it's my money and I can do with it what I want to... to which I smile and say yes you are right... then I stop taking food over to cook

Definately about SS17. We hardly argue though. I just don't have the energy for it anymore. Another flashpoint can be about this country I live in. I am from the UK and DH is a native of this european weird place. I moan about it and he gets all defensive.

SS and unikitty, we don't really disagree or fight about anything else.