She just wants her own way I think....

So the summer has begins and so has the 30 days visitation with the skids. So BM was pissed off last Thursday night because DH didn't pick up the skids so she had the skids call DH and ask if he was picking them up he just told them that he will would them pick on Friday June 2nd which was what he stated in the notification letter that he sent to BM back in April. I understand things change and sometimes schedules need to be rearranged but BM cannot look up anything she is just too lazy or wants everything her own way.

The CO specifically states that DH picks up the skids on Thursday night at 6:00 pm during the school year. So DH and I are trying to have a nice quiet dinner last Thursday night and who starts blowing up DH's phone because she is pissed that DH didn't pick up the skids of course it's BM! She said that he will start picking up the skids on Thursday nights again and EOW after his 30 days of visitation.

DH then sent her pictures of the CO which he highlighted the part where it states that he picks up the skids on Thursday night during the school year only. She didn't say anything back so once again she needs everyone to spoon feed her through life and is too lazy to look things up herself or just wants things her own way when DH is just trying to follow the CO because that is what the judge put it in place for. Apparently BM doesn't think that she should have to follow it even though she was the one that filed for CS and wanted a CO set in place. BM's patterns are all screwed up.

I get really tired of her interrupting our lives even though DH has already told her that he wasn't picking up the skids last Thursday night but yet she told the skids to call DH and ask again. So I think from BM's patterns she just doesn't read the CO on purpose and thinks that DH will give into her just like he used to when they were together even though he is trying to follow the CO and establish boundaries with her. I am just waiting for what drama is going to unfold in the coming weeks while DH is at work and the skids are with the babysitter.

tankh21's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

She really just wants

She really just wants attention. If he had picked them up on Thursday, in all likelihood, she would have referred him back to the April letter. She has to show how awful he is at all times.

LOL I didn't understand why

LOL I didn't understand why she had the skids call my DH after he had already told her that he wasn't picking them up but, when he sent her and highlighted the part where he doesn't pick up the skids on Thursday nights during the summer months she was pissed off. So to me I think that she is just playing games.

BM here does this regularly.

BM here does this regularly. When she doesn't get what she wants she unleashes the SDs on him. When she got evicted the time before this last time, she had nowhere for her dog and cats to go. She just assumed that we would take them. I said Hell to the NO!! Well, then DH gets a barrage of texts and phone calls from the SDs crying and begging him to take the animals.

Of course, I'm the bad guy who said no, but too damn bad.

The CO has been set in place

The CO has been set in place for about a year. I don't know what the case but, it is getting old fast when BM gets pissed off because DH wants to follow the CO and she doesn't.

Is this still stemming from

Is this still stemming from her text the other day asking if he was picking them up on Thursday? He didn't answer her with an answer, just referred her to an April 1 letter right?

Now, do you see how simply answering her question (even if it was "spoon feeding") would have headed off her snappy response that day and then all the "blowing up of phone" on Thursday?

I'm not defending her trying to avoid the CO... but your husband set this situation up.

Also, was Monday the last day of school? If so, it's possible she would have considered this week to still be part of the school year.

No last Wednesday was the

No last Wednesday was the last day of school but, why get the skids to call and ask dad why couldn't she just call him herself and tell him I need a definite yes or no answer not some vague answer like please refer to me letter or the CO.

She could've just read the

She could've just read the damn CO and be done with it as well...I don't get why you are defending her you have no idea what this woman does.

I'm not so sure that it is a

I'm not so sure that it is a matter of defending anyone vs trying to give advice that might make your life easier.

When you talk about things like "last night of freedom"... it is pretty clear that a lot of the press to "follow the CO" is coming from you because would your husband really look at a chance to have his son as losing his freedom? Now I get it, the CO stated it and you had things to celebrate.. fine, but it's pretty clear that you are the one who is fine combing through the CO to ensure your DH doesn't take any more visitation than is absolutely necessary. I am pretty sure you penned that April letter too right? I mean, maybe that's why he didn't answer his EX in the text because he really didn't know the answer.

In any case, him flippantly answering to her "see my letter dated X" when he could have easily said "per my letter dated X and our CO, I pick up the kids at X time on Friday". Spoon feeding maybe but he could have headed off a few nasty texts right?

I mean, you can be right... and still end up with more hassle in your life. Maybe if he communicated with her in a less passive aggressive way, she might have left you alone that night?

I am not saying that his EX is not up for playing games on her own... but you are way too involved with his interactions with his EX.

I may be involved but, she

I may be involved but, she took advantage of him and he let her run all over him. She is the one that filed for CS and wanted a CO because she was pissed that he moved on and got married there was no CO set in place and he just gave her money every month before me and she got her way with everything and now that she doesn't anymore it's her problem. It's not fair to my DH that he actually got more time with his kids and paid less CS before she went and filed and now she wants to have her cake and eat it too I think not. I mean in reality if you think about it people say a marriage should come first but, in my case the children always come first so when I stand up and don't let someone dictate my time and life all the time in my marriage then that makes me the bad guy I guess. I feel like my marriage always comes second to my DH's kids so I just wanted one day to celebrate with my DH and I don't think that is asking for too much considering I tell me DH to spend time with his kids on his own all the time.

Thank you for your support

Thank you for your support DirtyDiane yeah I kind of knew what I signed up for I just didn't realize it would be this difficult and I feel that BM shouldn't get special treatment just because everyone else gives it to her. I have never had to deal with this much drama in my life so I guess it is going to take some getting used to.

You are involved because your

You are involved because your husband lets her run all over him. That means you should have a problem with HIM. I wouldn't blame someone for advocating for their own self interests. You should be advocating to your husband for YOUR interests and then he can fight the fight with BM if needed.

I believe you have inserted yourself way deep into his interactions with his Ex because you don't trust him to do the right thing.

This is not a contest. If your husband thinks so little of your special occasions that he will get his kids that day even if the CO says he doesn't have to and he can't think of your feelings... you have a husband problem, not a BM problem.

BM is simply trying to

BM is simply trying to control your husband and he is not allowing it, see it as that...

keep on boosting DH's ego more, telling what a great guy he is for taking a stand against his ex, tell him you've heard of stories where the current wife has no say and gets dumped as soon as the BM demands attention... then boost ego more

Why didn't he get his kids on

Why didn't he get his kids on Thursday if the mom was offering extra time?

LOL because it was our last

LOL because it was our last night of freedom and it was my birthday and our anniversary and we had plans. DH knew that he didn't have to pick up the skids and he is following the CO so we went ahead and made plans. I am not going to rearrange my plans just because BM wants her own way and neither was DH. My marriage matters as well if you want to think that DH and I are selfish oh well.

I thought last week your DH

I thought last week your DH had told you too bad, he was getting them anyway because they expected it.... ?

Glad it worked out the way you wanted it though, with the dinner just the two of you... except for the texts, of course

Thanks secret. When he told

Thanks secret. When he told me that I just left it alone and told him to do whatever he wanted. When he got home he asked me what was wrong and I told him how I felt that I just wanted to spend an evening with him and he said ok and finally understood where I was coming from. I feel like sometimes my marriage comes second and BM and the skids come first. I know that the kids do need to come first in a lot of ways but, at least it worked out.

Your husband made the right

Your husband made the right decision and I'm happy for you tankh21. We have had Skids for about a month full time now and DH surprised me this past weekend by texting BM, "when are you picking up the kids for YOUR weekend?" Rather than just letting another weekend slide by of her off doing whatever she does. She actually picked them up and had then all weekend. I feel REBORN. BM will probably drop off the face of the earth for another couple of weeks, but it was nice while it lasted.