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It's been a while since I've posted.....I have a few issues

anothermom's picture

I've got a mixture of problems. I'm not sure they all pertain to skids but, here it goes.
1. SS19 lives with Aunty at this time.Her hubby got him a job.Yay! He seems to be doing okay but, has issues waking up some mornings. SO told me he thinks his son is working to much and misses him living with us..I laughed at him and said He is 19,working full time,no kids and,does not have any plans on college! He is fine,pretty soon you can visit him at his own home. He nodded politely. SD22- I'm disengaged and she is too from everyone SD20- mostly disengaged her car broke down. I told SO he has to fix it this weekend she doesn't need an excuse to quit her job.
2. My BS11(middle kid & namesake) would rather live with my dead Hubby's parents. He has been there for five days. I'm truly hurt. Especially, because it's because he gets the Disney life over there. I can't lie sometimes it's nice to not hear my bio's fight. I can't compete with my IL's income.I love them a lot. We get along great. We even go to the same church. I talked to MIL she laughed at me and said it's just a phase. I'm afraid of being mean to them but I'm almost there. Youngest bs10 has always played second fiddle and bd13 has a totally different taste in clothes, ect.GMA can no longer "buy" her attention any more. This is my main stressed Middle son,ugh!!!!
3. My Dad is visiting me. Its been 11 years. I blogged about this..... My 1/2 brother OMG....he reminds me of what a lot of the sk's I read on here are. Only older 49 and FAT!!!! He calls Dad daily and ALWAYS asks,"You are coming back,right?" He also cries about how he misses Dad and he's counting down the days till Dad goes back to him... Puke!!! I've been finding out lots of things I'd rather not know. My Dad pretty much supports 1/2 brothers family. He bought their home,furnishings,cars,insurance, in ground pool,deck. And he and his wife draw S.S,food stamps,Medicaide. I'm livid. How can my 1/2 brother not be embarrassed! How can my Father be such a fool? And,is it really that hard to believe that my four other half siblings don't care that much for the "User"????

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anothermom's picture

No,they don't. My babes are 100% mine. He is on his way home right now. I think you're right,hell I wish I had an escape. Should I tell my son he was acting selfish? He told me before he likes not having chores,sharing,and playing outside.I told him grandparents home can not be compared to ours! Any other suggestions to unspoil him ???

MainelyaMess's picture

Clearly HB has not figured out how to take care of himself and your father has likely enabled him.

However, why is someone a "fool" because they give more to someone else than you or your other half-siblings? He may be overly sympathetic and overly compassionate, but don't fault the man for caring. If it puts your father in financial jeopardy or if your father is doing it and does not want to, it would be a different story.

What I get from your post is that you are fed up with HB "using" your Dad and getting more than everyone else. Why should you dictate how he spends his money?

I can understand the frustration of a constantly needy sibling, but your Dad is a grown man and can decide for himself how he wishes to "spread the joy".

I listened to my siblings complain for many years about how my hs & hb had everything handed to them and we didn't get anything. They chose to wallow and complain, I chose to take action and do it myself. My siblings were never successful and blamed their financial problems on how they didn't get any help. Phooey! Get over it and get on with it. Smile

I am not trying to belittle the irritation, frustration and aggravation of feeling "less than". I felt it and didn't like it either, but once you become a "more than" maybe you can help your Dad out and make sure he's taken care of once all his money has been gifted away? Now...wouldn't that be sweet! Smile

MainelyaMess's picture

It may help to know that sometimes people have it easier than others. Nobody said life was fair (or just).

When I feel I have it worse than others, I simply remind myself of how many people are truly suffering out there and how fortunate I really am. It's not hard to find examples of people dealing with much, much worse things in life.

End every evening with a quiet "thank you" for anything you can think of to be grateful for. You will find it helps you to get to sleep quicker and awake with a more peaceful spirit.