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14 hour roadtrip to get SD19 yesterday

My4kidsmom's picture

We started at 5am, got to her town at 10:45 and she said she was ready so we loaded up our car, her dog, ans hamster ans got ready for the turn around trip back. Well first she had to stop and say bye to a friend, run by her bank to deposit money, and hunt her old boss down for her final paycheck. Then it was lunchtime. We got back on the road by 1pm and finally he by around 7pm.
She drove her own car so not much conversation except at stops for the bathroom and to walk the dog. Her cars shocks are almost out so everytu me she would hit even the slightest bump, the tail end would bounce like a pimpmobile! Lol it was cracking DH and I up. Except now he has to put new shocks, tie-rods, and brakes on her car so she doesn't kill herself. We just had to put 4 new tires on her car before we got there because she was driving on a donut and 3 had almost no tread left. Sigh
Anyway the meeting with the other kids went well although everyone kinda held back. We have all been burned and my kids are pretty protective of me after everything that's happened.
So all in all not a bad start. She has a cooperative attitude etc. The issue we are worried about is how long that will last.
It's easy now because we just bailed her out of a train wreck but what happens in a week or a month? Time will tell.
In the meantime we will just keep reinforcing the rules and praying a LOT!!

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My4kidsmom's picture

Sally, here are the rules she agreed to.

1. Enroll in Community college full-time starting summer semester.
2. We have full access to grades via Canvas (education portal)
3. Maintain at least a B average
4. Follow weekly homework plan set up by us.
5. Get a part-time job
6. Only 1 dog can come with you.
8. Absolutely NO drinking/drugs at home or anywhere else-random drug testing.
9. Curfew is midnight on weekend. 10pm on school nights.
10. Get into counseling-We will help set that up.
11. Attend church with us every Sunday morning and occasional Wednesday nights
12. Keep room clean and laundry caught up
13. Do household chores as asked.
14. No overnights anywhere else for at least 6 months-you must be home every night.
15. Must commit to a full year at home to get back on track in school
16. Maintain a good attitude and open communication with us.
17. Out of bed by 10am doing something productive
18. Most of your VA benefits will go into a savings account for you that will be used to help get you started in life when you leave our home. This will give you 8-10 thousand dollars available at the end of the year. You can use your paycheck from work for insurance, bills and spending money. We will purchase or rent your textbooks so you can save your money.

These are non-negotiable guidelines. Failure to abide by these will result in us being unable to allow you to stay here.

My4kidsmom's picture

She gets 1100 in VA benefits for school and we are making her give that to us to put into a savings account in her and DH's name that require both signatures to withdraw. That money will be saved until she passes her first year of community college, then given to her to get set up in her own place.
We have 7 kids and have never charged rent. Probably should but I have a hard time taking money from them.

My4kidsmom's picture

I do agree with that in principle although 4 of the 7 kids that are now out on their own never had to pay rent ans it seems unfair to make the last three start paying. It's so hard trying to be fair with so many of them. For example, SS24 got a pass when he didn't pay us back 1400 for tires but we are making BS25 pay 50 a month for a dental surgery he needed that we paid for. It seems like so many of the kids have gotten so much given to them, both skids and my bios that we don't know where to start drawing the line.