I always went because 1) gave DH support 2) it affected me & my home 3) yeah, a bit to show BM that she didn't control my life... besides maybe BM will show the judge her crazy & it could help DH. 4) it gave DH a person to talk to afterwards who understands what he's feeling. 5) if BM can have her mom & boyfriend in court there should be no reason DH can't have his legal spouse with him. 6) I'm nosy!

Good luck!

I don't know your specific dynamics but if it were me, I would absolutely be there for my DH.

Anything involving BM is traumatic for him. Court would be even worse. I know he wouldn't have to talk directly to her, and I may not even be allowed in the room, but I would be there the second he walked out. Even if it wasn't divorce/custody related, court is just plain stressful. I'd want a friendly face there for me and I would do it for my husband too.

Plus, my presence might help keep the dogs off of him (BM's disgusting redneck family).

I went, our lawyer thought I should go to show a united front. The fact that it pissed off the BM was just an added bonus!!

I went to every single court date. 1) to support DH 2) show BM we are a team 3) it affects my life all the way around 4) to secretly piss BM off }:)

I went to the ones three years ago and earlier but I stopped part of the way through three years ago. When it became obvious that NY's court system was 99.4% in BM's favor no matter what we did, it was just too damn frustrating to watch. Our lawyer sucked at that time also. Him and I didn't get along because I didn't hide my opinion that I didn't feel he was fighting enough for DH. He seemed to just agree to everything and not argue anything. Since I always had to use vacation time to go as well and just sat in back of the room, it made no sense for me to keep going. DH knew how upsetting it was for me to hear BM's lawyer spew lies so we agreed I wouldn't go anymore. Hell, DH wished he didn't have to go and that we could just send the lawyer. BM's husband goes sometimes.

If you DH wants you to go, I think you should consider it but only if it's not extremely negative for you.

I went to every single court date and I agree with just tired:
1) to support DH
2) show BM we are a team
3) it affects my life all the way around
4) to secretly piss BM off
****plus***
5) when BM insisted I be removed from the courtroom - her hubby had to go too. He did not take it well & was escorted out of the courtroom & down the hall.

It was open court in the county H's divorce took place. I went to show we were a team. The only time I was asked to speak was when Uberskank claimed I was starving the skid and the judge asked me to respond to her claim.

Outside of that, I stayed seated behind H and kept my mouth shut.

What does your DH want?

I'm all about supporting DH, IF that is what HE wants. DH has had to go to court 3 times for BM/skid crap since we have been together and I have never gone. My personal choice would be to NOT go. I have no desire to be within a 5 million mile radius of either BM, it stresses me out. BUT with that said, if DH wanted me there, I would have sucked it up and gone with him.

I had to attend as a witness for our side (I never actually had to take the stand). BM's attorney asked that I leave until the witnesses before me had testified. I knew that was coming so I smiled, said "yes, sir" to the judge and left. BM gave a triumphant little smirk as I walked out. After all our witnesses were finished, a bailiff came and told me that I could go back in. BM was on the stand when I walked in and sat down. She actually interrupted HER attorney while he was questioning her, pointed at me and asked "what is SHE doing in here?". Her attorney was super annoyed and said "She is allowed to come back. Their side is finished presenting testimony. Can I continue now?". He gave an apologetic look to the judge and continued but he was actually kind of mean to her after that. So, for us, my being there really helped as it threw BM and her attorney off their game. Also, the judge wanted the new CO read into the record that day, so I am glad I was there to give my input on that.

Even if I had not been a witness, I would have gone to support DH regardless. Also, if you think any long-term decisions will be made that need your input (b/c they affect your household, finances, etc) then I would definitely go. Finally, it was great to be able to go out for a celebratory drink right after court and toast to our hard won victory!

I go to court with DH primarily to support him. Secondly to piss BM off and thirdly so BM can't catch DH at his car and say some off the wall shit.

The hearings are held in a inner room of the court room so they are not in front of everyone. Only DH, BM, lawyers, the judge and SS7's guardian ad litem. Prob go the best because I would be tempted to call bullshit on BM.

In the past BM has come up crying to DH about how she wants custody and can't afford CS. She pays $150 a month. Gimme a break... I won't let DH be cornered and made to feel guilt by her sneaky, lying ass. Once she came up before the hearing and asked to speak to him alone...Nope! I told her anything she has to say can be said in front of the judge