I held a hysterical SD tonight thanks to BM...
I just cant believe this woman. SD came down stairs about 20 mins after DH put her to bed. DH and I were just sitting on the couch watching tv. She started to tear up and said "mommy I don't feel good. My tummy hurts." (I know she calls me mommy, we've been over this). I said do you think you need a bucket? She says yes then bursts into full blow tears, climbs into my lap, and tells me how BM told her she may have eaten some bad berries and could die. WTF!?! BM called earlier and SD has been asking to go out on the porch for her phone call and we say yes and keep an ear out but don't hover usualy. Aparently SD went down to the raspberry bush while she was on the phone with BM and BM gave her some bullshit story about being able to die from berries. Now we have taught our children which berries are ok to eat and which will make you sick. We live in the country. Kids eat from this raspberry bush all the time. Logic would tell you if you have eaten from these many times and not gotten sick or died you wouldn't now either but SD is 7 and who knows wtf BM really said to her. These mind games are so messed up. My heart is actually breaking for this kid. What mother makes her kid think she might die?!? The ironic thing is I had someone say this to me as well when I was a kid but it was over eating raw bacon. I cried all night thinking I might die so I know how SD is probably feeling. BM did ask to speak to DH (which is supposed to be not happening at this point but whatever..). SHe asked about the berried and DH explained that it was raspberries and they eat from it all the time and he has taught the kids which berried are ok and which are not. Well too late. She already made her kid think she was going to die and she jumped into evil stepmoms arms. This woman disgusts me at this point.
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It BM was really concerned
It BM was really concerned about the kid eating wild berries, she would have called you or DH to take the child to the ER. What type of parent knows their kid ate something dangerous and leaves it?!
Your BM is a bitch and just wanted to freak the kid. That's emotional terrorism. New lows everyday when I read what parents do to their kids here.
There's a reason why she
There's a reason why she calls you mommy, because real mommy's don't do what she just did. SD find comfort in you. Thank God she has you. BM's behavior is only securing your relationship with her daughter.
Thank you for this. Not
Thank you for this. Not everyone understands or agrees with what she calls me but its been like this for years. I cant change it now and she also calls her SF Dad/daddy and she doesn't get any shit from us about it. The important thing is that she is treated right. SHe knows which parents are bio and which are step but it doesn't change how each one of us makes her feel. I have never pushed her away or scared her or filled her head with crazy shit. I try to say nice things or at least not put BM down infront of her. I did have one slip lately that I wrote about on here but I think for the most part DH and I are doing things as right as we can. And you are absolutely right about the relationship dynamics. Once SD was upstairs I knew DH wouldn't want to have along talk about it that time of night so the only words out of my mouth were Good job dumbass, you just made your kid think she was going to die and pushed her even further into my arms. I left it at that. DH gave me a knowing look. We are both so sick of what that woman does to SD and its the most aggravating feeling knowing there isn't shit we can do about it other than continue to be there for SD and reassure her. I hope when she gets old enough she has the balls to tell her mother she wants to live in a stable home and moves here. I know most don't want their older Skids moving in but I cant think of anything that would be better for SD!
What an idiot. Why don't we
What an idiot. Why don't we try to give our child a damn anxiety complex?
It reminds me of something when I was a child. I just got my room painted in an orangey color. My mom had her BFF over. She told me that the tomato soup I was eating was the left-over paint. They laughed when I started to gag.
SD is already full of anxiety
SD is already full of anxiety as it is. BM constantly tried to make her thin she cant not trust or rely on us. I think DH was a little hurt it was me SD came to as well but he didn't show it to her of course. I explained to him after we had her back in bed that its her relationship with BM that is screwed up and no offence but sometimes its a mommy cuddle they need and if shes not getting that from her mother Im the next best thing. Anyway I went upstairs again after I heard some banging around. Thought it might be SD trying to make her self throw up. She also does this sometimes when she gets really upset and she was hyperventilating last night. Turns out it was BD2 slamming her bed into her dresser (love this new phase of hers) but SD was still laying there balling. SHe said she doesn't know why her mom said those things to her if they aren't real. SO I calmly explained that Im sure she didn't mean to make her scared, she was probably just worried since she hadn't seen the berries herself but that she should have asked daddy about it before saying what she said to her so as not to frighten her. DH came up since I was taking so long and we both promised her over and over she would be just fine. DH wrote her a note this morning before he left for work basically saying good morning. See we told you you would be just fine and you are! Hope you have a happier day, I hate to see you so sad. see you when I get home and I love you to china. This made her pretty happy and I think it was a good step in SD seeing DH and I are not stupid. We know what we are talking about and she can trust us. I have to wonder how BM would handle knowing how she made SD feel last night. Part of me thinks DH should firmly let her know that if she is just going to call SD to get her all upset and think she is going to die don't fucking bother any more but Im sure she wouldnt believe it anyway and I can just imagine the what the next phone call between BM and SD would be like. And for those who mentioned it if it had been the "snake berries" as we call them Id love to send her a huge basket but Im not wasting perfectly good rasberries and blackberries on the likes of that C-U-Next- Tuesday }:)