Am I Being a Complete Asshole About the Xmas Tree
My DH and I have been extremely busy Nov. and Dec. We are facing a cross country move. I have a new boutique I am running and was trying to get last minute orders out before we took TWO vacations a week apart. We went to Disney World and then a week later we went to Cancun. We just got back last Sat. night.
I tried to be prepared for Xmas because I knew we would only have 10 days from the time we got home until Xmas. I spent all of Nov. getting presents made or bought and shipped to his family and my family who live out of State before we left.
I am hosting Xmas dinner this year (like I do every year), but it will be smaller than usual. I told my DH before we left for both vacations that I didn't think we should put up the tree and decorate because of all we have going on. He said we will see.
Now, I'm sure you all understand that as a wife, SM and BM you do it ALL! Shop for the presents, wrap them, send them off., etc. Shop for Xmas dinner and Xmas Eve dinner. Cook it, host it and then get the pleasure of cleaning it all up with no help. I know around here my DH and two stepsons lay on their ass all the freaking time and do not lift a finger.
My DH picked OSS20 up from college and told me that SS wanted the tree up. He said OSS was going to help put it up, but of course he didn't - he never helps with a damn thing. Then he left to go over to his Mom's.
Youngest SS17 is here today (it's our long week - we have him until Monday). He told his dad today that he wants the tree up too - even though there is only a few days before Xmas. My DH walks in and says they are putting up the tree, even though he knows I was adamant about not putting it up this year because of the hassle and how late it is. I flipped out and started yelling at my DH in front of SS17(I've never yelled at DH in front of the kids before). I told DH that I'm sick of everyone wants and needs trumping mine. The kid chimed in and says "gees, it's only a tree why are you so upset?" I told him I was too stressed for all the extra work.
I left and went to my Mom's for a few hours and then came back. The tree is not up. I won for once, but now I feel realllllly guilty.
Should I let them put up the tree if they take it down. Or just be glad I finally got my way for once (well twice - DH actually told BM no once) in 11 years?
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Comments
If they want it up they can
If they want it up they can do it they are helpless. Then when they want it down they can do that too. Why feel guilty they want it THEY can do it!
Listen to Taushalove...she
Listen to Taushalove...she told it just like it is. I am sorry...men are lazy. I have painted almost every room is DH's house that we need to sell and as well as my house which is where we live now. DH's words...Do not get depressed...I will help...It will get done....repeat. I told I can get it...just need help moving the furniture and hanging a mirror. GUESS WHO...DID IT ALL. You got...JUSTME54.
This is a two part problem. I
This is a two part problem. I mean sure they wanted a tree up, but it eventually has to come down. Seriously and honestly, do you think they will take it dwon WITHOUT being reminded or hasseled?
From the track record, unlikely. These are not small children who believe in Santa Claus. Its fine. They'll live.
Oh Lorda Mercy you can say
Oh Lorda Mercy you can say that again!
My YSS17 had two car accidents within 4 months. He managed to cause very bad damage to 6 vehicles totaling 2 of them, his and another persons. The courts barely slapped his hand only making him take a driving course again.
DH and BM want to give him a new car.
The accidents were caused because he is sleepy from staying up all night on his computer playing World of Warcraft. The pile up accident happened because he fell asleep at the wheel.
Guess what he is getting for Xmas, folks? A brand new bigger and better gaming computer! Can you imagine! If that were my kid I would never buy him a new one and the old one would have been taken from him until he paid DH back for the two deductibles on both wrecks.
This generation of kids coming up are soooo spoiled and entitled it's scary! Not all of them of course, but the great majority.
Ugh, we have to take SS17
Ugh, we have to take SS17 laptop from him at 10:00 on school nights and if we forget that ass will stay up alllll night long playing.
I think it's pathetic we have to treat these young men like little kids.
DH and BM are wanting to give him a new vehicle. The only good news for me is that if DH gives him his vehicle, DH will take mine and I will get a brand new one of that I have wanted for a few years.
It will piss of BM too when she hears that I got a brand new vehicle. Because she will have to pay DH for half of the value of his to give to stepshit.
Thanks all for your advice. I
Thanks all for your advice.
I usually make a big deal out of Xmas because I enjoy it. I really go to town decorating the house inside with all kinds of wonderful lighted Xmas accessories and a gorgeous tree. I love have a big Christmas dinner with friends and family. I have the table set beautifully with Xmas décor that I've been collecting from Fitz & Floyd for years. I just don't have the time or the ambition this year because of what is going on.
If OSS comes over tonight and they ask again to set it up I will probably let them as long as they promise to take it down. But if nothing is said I'm going to leave it down.
Kind of sad, this is probably our last Xmas in this house because we have to move to a new state soon. My grown biological kids have always loved and adored the effort I put in to Xmas. But my stepshits used to make fun of the decorations and stuff, even though I know deep down they really enjoyed how beautiful it was.
I'm sure my kids will come out to see us in our new house and maybe start new Xmas traditions.
Yeah, you are right. Every
Yeah, you are right.
Every year getting them to put it up is a giant hassle and every year getting them to help take it down is an even bigger hassle.
My DH is acting all sullen since I came home last night. I know he wants it up for his pwecious baby boys.
I was also thinking that this might be a great learning example for them next year when I ask for help putting it up and they blow me off for weeks. Next time they will probably help more if I leave it down.
Tog, I guess I feel like if I
Tog,
I guess I feel like if I don't do it no one will do it.
I don't care about the tree being decorated in a certain way per se, but I do care about how the house is decorated. But that is not the issue this year.
Like I said. Usually I enjoy the decorating and present wrapping. But this year I have too much other things going on.