Engagement photos while SD is here...
A good friend of ours, who is also in my bridal party, will be doing our engagement photos for our save the dates. The unfortunate aspect of this is that the best weekend we can do this will be the first weekend SD is here. Now, I'm not too buggy about this because my friend from Michigan will also be here, so, if SD is being a troll, she can hang back at the house with SD while we go off or, at the very least, she can hang out with SD while we're all out and about doing our shots (they would come with us).
But, what FDH was saying, he wants SD in the shots. Blargh. Why???
"OH, SD will be here, too!" Yea, and? "She can come with us when we go driving around PGH looking for that perfect photo location." Sure, but, she's just along for the ride, right? "The photos would be really cute with all of us." How about no?
She's not getting in on the engagement shoot. No way, no how. I really, really want him to just give up on his last little hopes of ever making this one happy family because it just won't be that way. SD's parents aren't together, she has two families, and she has made it clear that she does not want to ever be nice to me or get close to me. He really has to start remembering that this is the kid who said she hates me. Just because she's going to be here for most of November does NOT mean she suddenly got over her idea of hating me.
If anything, our friend can do some shots of them, I guess, but, am I a selfish bitch if I want the shoot to be about us completely?
I don't think so, anyway. Guess I just gotta talk it out with FDH and let him know that I do not want the wedding or anything associated with it to be about anything but us as a couple. If and when SD gets married, then it can be about her. But this is our day, and our relationship.
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My feelings exactly. She'll
My feelings exactly. She'll have plenty of photo moments in her life. This one is for me and FDH, NOT SD.
Absolutely not DH2B Oh,
Absolutely not DH2B :jawdrop: Oh, just no-no-no.
Compromise on his photo idea. Great idea of DH and SD having photos done together as long as she is in town. You'll be glad to make them an appointment at the studio of his request.....but no way in h*ll is a child (any child) going to be in the engagement photos. Got it Mr DH2B ? He can have the studio he picks do some of just her and some of both of them. You're sure his family would love some new photos of them/her for Christmas. But SD will not be in one single shot of your engagement shots (nor anywhere near the shot location, hopefully)
Surely he was kidding :?
Yea, it's ludicrous, right??
Yea, it's ludicrous, right??
Since it's a friend of ours, he can arrange to have her do photos of him and SD on a different day that weekend for sure. Hey, maybe if we luck out we'll have perfect photo weather all weekend and we'll knock out our engagement shoot on that Saturday and then they can get their pics done that Sunday. *shrug*.
Ideally, I'd like SD to stay home while we go do our shoot. But, I'd be willing to compromise on that if our friend from Michigan can keep her out of the way (sounds odd because SD is 13stb14). But, yea, I'm not budging on the people who will be in the shots. Not one bit.
I hope he was kidding, but, ugh, I just don't ever know for sure.
Glad to know I'm not out of
Glad to know I'm not out of line with this haha.
The bad part would be it wouldn't create a mini wife, she already acts like one! It would just make the mini wife WORSE!
if he doesn't budge on this
if he doesn't budge on this and still wants SD in the photo, compromise. Have SD step in for a Family photo not to be used as engagement photos, then inform your friend that when she is in the picture..... have her "leave lense cap on" or just act like she took the picture..... }:)
HAHA OMG this is pretty
HAHA OMG this is pretty perfect!
Luckily, our friend is pretty well informed about the turbulence of my relationship with SD. She also has a skid, a 15yo SS, so we had a chance to chat about step life one weekend. Of course, her skid is awesome towards her, but, she does have to contend with a pain in the ass BM, too.
Tell him no. Do no budge. As
Tell him no.
Do no budge.
As an adult, there are very few things that are "all about you" and ok to be selfish about. This is one of them.
Yea, I already had two days
Yea, I already had two days that were supposed to be about me taken over by SD.
One was my graduation from my two-year school in NJ, she was a snot the entire day and made it all about her by acting out and creating drama, because heaven forbid the attention wasn't on her.
Then, there was my graduation from my four-year school this past May. It was in the thick of SD being an ass towards FDH, after he found out that SD and GUBM decided SD didn't need to go to school anymore and SD had been avoiding FDH for months at that point, so he was all morose and a giant ass about everything that day (I didn't get ANY pics of myself in my cap and gown with FDH, and was lucky to get some with a couple friends/teachers that the school photographer took).
The same thing will NOT be happening with this day or any event associated with it, no way.
(No subject)
:jawdrop:
Exactly :/
Exactly :/
SD is supposed to be in FDH's
SD is supposed to be in FDH's wedding party, so, I'm sure he's going to have LOTS of pics taken of them together at the wedding...so, he needs to calm his ass down about the possibility of her being in the engagement photos. Just because she's IN the wedding doesn't mean she should be in our engagement photos, because if that was the case well then we should have every single member of our wedding party out for the shoot.
Hell, I can already imagine the stink faces she'll have in all of the wedding photos. The kid doesn't smile in any pics with me (there were lots of pics from the family vacation in August, in the pics where I'm present, it's stink face all over the place. In the pics from after we left? Big smiles). And the photographer for the wedding does cost a lot (would have cost more had we hired them for the engagement photos, but, I wanted my friend to do them), so it's bad enough she's going to likely stink face all over those photos, I don't want that same shit in my engagement photos.
photo shop works wonders for
photo shop works wonders for stink face
Hahahaha, this is true! I bet
Hahahaha, this is true! I bet I can have my photographer photoshop the stink right off her face during the touch-up/editing process!
One would think that since
One would think that since this is FDH's first wedding, too, that he'd be just as amped to experience it as OUR day, and not our day with SD.
I have hope that he will be reasonable about this because we did have the "this is our day and we should treat it as a special day for US, screw everyone else" convo when we first started planning and each time we've gotten flack from our less than stellar relatives about where we're getting married. And, from my limited understanding, engagement sessions are supposed to be about us as a couple, SD is not part of us being a couple (hell, she tried to manipulate FDH into breaking up with me less than a month before he proposed!), so, I don't see her having a place in the pics. Heck, even if she had been awesome this entire time, I still wouldn't.
He absolutely harbors that
He absolutely harbors that delusion. I've tried telling him so many times that the "big happy family" thing is just a fantasy and not real. Hopefully as he reads more of Stepmonster he will start to understand all of that.
Oh, I already foresee issues with GUBM related to the wedding no matter what. If SD's has already told her, I can picture her filling her head with all kinds of ridiculous nonsense. If SD hasn't, the shit will really hit the fan once GUBM figures it all out. She's a big fan of crying and screaming over FDH letting her down and doing things with me that he was supposed to do with her. *smh* But this would totally be one more can of gasoline dumped on the crazy bonfire that is GUBM.
Don't bring her along, I
Don't bring her along, I pacified the DH and brought SD with too my engagement photo shoot. The photographer was a "friend" of his family. I would say there are maybe 10 out of 50 of just me and my DH, because gosh dang it SD just looked sooo cute that day no one could help having the pictures be of just her. Oh there is a few really nice ones of just DH and SD too.
It's your engagement and you should get it the way you want.
Ugh, that would just straight
Ugh, that would just straight up piss me the hell off.
Bahaha, maybe I'll just grab
Bahaha, maybe I'll just grab some random child on the street and shove them into the photos.