The SS was suppose to ask if it might be possible during his regular phone call with his BM. I doubt it meant do the actual pick-up/drop off arrangement , but more just 'would it be ok'. Why would the Dad bother to pursue the issue farther if BM tells the SS on the phone 'no'? This is the BM who puts tacks under his tires and sugar in his gas tank. I wouldn't call and speak to her if not necessary either.

So ok, HRNYC thinks it's rude to avoid high conflict situations and that it's 'spoiling' child to occasionally let them do an activity. Check. Psst, HRNYC, if you'd have read the actual written words, OP states that most the 'trips' aka eating out, are done while none of the kids are present. Unless of course if you insist on counting the baby who was likely snoozing away in her travel carrier while her parents dined. Other than that I read a couple times where OP took her kids to an amusement park while SS was with his BM and a week at day camp while once again the SS was at his mother's. Uh, not exactly a case of kids rolling in entitlement of spoilage. Obviously the SS gets to go/do stuff too or he wouldn't be at the place asking if baby sister has already been there.

I don't recall OP's 'spoiled' children constantly asking for Ipods, Ipads, bedroom Xboxes, piles of new clothing and oh, don't forget the shoes.

I'm not particularly in a good mood this morning either, maybe we could both use another cup of coffee :O