So wants space
We've been together a few months. We work opposite shifts, he gets out at midnight and I have to be up at 8 am. For a while we would make an effort to see each other at least twice throughout the week after he got out of work. I guess it messed with his sleep schedule too much and he couldn't wake up early enough to get anything done before he left for work. So now I can only see him on the weekends, when he has his 2 year old son. He doesn't see the importance of alone time, just the two of us. That's why I enjoyed seeing him during the week when SS was at mom's. I haven't heard from him since I left his place Monday morning. Maybe he's emotionally unavailable right now? He said we're still together, he just wants space. Insert sigh.
I told myself I'd never date a man with a child. Then SO came into my life. I thought *we* would be different. Heh.
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give this man PLENTY of
give this man PLENTY of space. start dating others.
That's not how I operate. I
That's not how I operate. I tend to stay single for around a year between relationships.
He said you're still together
He said you're still together but he wants his space??
Oh Honey....I'm sorry to tell you this but this is his wussy way of breaking up.
I would call him and simply end this relationship.
Besides...you're on opposite work schedules, never see each other without his kid and you probably said it best "maybe he's emotionally unavailable." It sounds like he's not interested in putting the work into this relationship.
I think you can do better and find someone who cares enough about you to invest some time and effort into making you happy.
I dunno. He gave off more of
I dunno. He gave off more of a "I need to recharge my batteries" vibe. I see him without kiddo once he's in bed, so we do get a few hours to ourselves at night.
".already shows you a
".already shows you a relationship isn't his top priority right now"
It seems to have been until this past weekend. I know he's stressed about his son being around BM's abusive boyfriend and he's worried that BM will move in with her boyfriend once she has the baby she's pregnant with now in around a month. So I can see why he would be more concerned about his son at the moment.
He went to my mom's bday
He went to my mom's bday party over the weekend, and offered to go back this weekend to help set-up the pool. Why would he still volunteer to help my family if he broke up with me? This is the stuff that keeps me up at night.
Space? It seems like he has
Space? It seems like he has plenty of space since you work opposite shifts.
Monday nights he would go to
Monday nights he would go to a friend's after work and have a few drinks, so Tuesday mornings he slept in and didn't do anything before work. We would see each other Tuesday and Wednesday after he got out and stay up for an hour or three- again, he would sleep in and not do much before work those days. Thursday night he would spend at home alone because he got his son Thursday evenings and he needed to be up early Friday to wake up with his son. Then I would spend the night at his place Friday, Saturday & Sunday. I can see how that could be smothering for him... the only day of the week that he wakes up at a reasonable time before work he can't do anything productive because he has his son. I think he would feel that he had more time/space if he worked a day shift and saw me the same two days a week after work, KWIM?
Then why does he tell me
Then why does he tell me things like I'm the perfect girlfriend and he couldn't ask me to do anything different? He said this during our talk.
Maybe two weeks ago in the car he looked over at me and told me how happy he is with me and how lucky he is to have me.
Why say these things then? He's a very straightforward person, he doesn't beat around the bush or bullshit people.
I overanalyze everything, I
I overanalyze everything, I always have. I take hours to fall asleep at night because I can't stop replaying what happened that day. It's a terrible habit. I'm here because I don't want to talk to my friends & family about it. I've been burned in the past by discussing relationship problems that I really shouldn't have.
"My take is yes, you are the perfect girlfriend because you are there then he wants you there and when he doesn't you don't bother him or ask questions. He is lucky to have you, but the question is....are you lucky to have him?"
Well I took what he said at face value I guess... if it's true then we'll get past it and if it's not then we're over. If it becomes a common occurrence then I'd have some questions. This whole time I have felt lucky to have him. In the past few months the relationships I have with my friends and family has changed dramatically and he's been there for me through every step of it. It's just this past week that's been driving me crazy.
A friend of mine gave me this
A friend of mine gave me this advise when my relationship with my ex was in its final death throes.
"When you cut off a limb, you do so cleanly with a sharp instrument. You don't hack at it with a dull spoon taking off a little bit at a time. It hurts more."