My step daughter played with my bio son's genital. Is it NORMAL behaviors? What do I do?
Let me start off by saying my step daughter (6 going on 7) and I have a great relationship. I like this kid. However, I have caught her playing with herself at least three times.
Yesterday, after dinner, I asked step daughter to babysit my bio son (3 years old) for twenty minutes as I needed to download some files on my computer.
I walked in their play room and found out my son's pants was half way down, lying in bed, and step daughter was playing with his genital.
I don't want to jump to the conclusion and say it is some kind of unwanted sexual advance from my step daughter. Obviously my son is too young to understand what is going on, I am wondering maybe step daughter is just very curious about sex? At six years old? Is it normal?
My husband is away on a business trip for 3 days and I have nobody to ask for advices. I checked some articles on the internet and couldn't find answers to my questions.
Is this normal behavior for a six year old girl? Should I seek some kind of professional help from an expert? Is it normal for a little girl to start masturbating at such a young age? Can I even call that masturbation? How do I prevent her from playing with my bio son in that way in the future?
I am confused and also am a little scared. Do you have any advices to put my mind at ease?
Thank you very much in advance
For the most part my opinion
For the most part my opinion this is that it is probably fairly innocent. But, as Ybarra indicated, it definately should include a talk with SD about appropriate behavior with her little brother.
Kids have played "I will show you mine if you show me yours" since the begining of human history. It is perfectly natural. But, there are some boundaries that should be taught and enforced.
IMHO of course.
Right. This is what I
Right. This is what I thought. But is it normal behavior for six year old girl to masturbate or pulling off little boy's pants like that?
edit: Do I need to talk to a professional regarding this issue?
I'd say it's fairly normal
I'd say it's fairly normal exploratory behavior, but still should be addressed. She should be told that there's nothing wrong with masturbation in the privacy of her bedroom (you don't want to make her ashamed of her body) but that touching anyone else's private parts is NOT ok.
I'd also let her father know when he gets home as well.
^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^
^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^
I'm not so much concerned
I'm not so much concerned with her exploring a boys plumbing as I am about what is happening to her. You said she has been masturbating which makes me wonder who taught her that? Mothers boyfriend/husband?
It's possible she discovered this by herself and likes the sensations but I think her mother should be informed by her father.
At 6 I doubt she is actually
At 6 I doubt she is actually masturbating, but she likely has discovered that touching gives her a special feeling. It is likely curiosity? I would make sure you talk to her about this and advise that she is not to do this and it is not acceptable to do this with anyone.
It's NOT normal, please talk
It's NOT normal, please talk to a professional and don't leave her alone with your son, EVER. As Rags said, "I'll show you yours if you show me mine" is quite common, but among kids the same age and certainly NOT siblings. I have a big brother and we NEVER saw/ were interested in each other naked. I mean, he's gay (lol), but as a kid I would've been devastated if he touched me.
That girl needs to talk to
That girl needs to talk to someone. I do NOT believe this is normal. I went through something similar and the girl had been watching her pathetic mother and step-father having sex in HER home...The mother knew about it and didn't care. Believe me, this is NOT normal. Do NOT blame this little girl as she is just a child...but there is no doubt in my mind that kids who do such things have seen things they shouldn't have or someone has taught them.
It actually not abnormal for
It actually not abnormal for girls that age to do what appears to be masterbating. I did my student teaching in an Elementary school in Kinder (shudders)and there was a girl in my class that "masterbated" every day at nap time. I found it very disturbing and reported it the counselors who then informed me that is was not abnormal. It may not be all that "normal", but it is not flat out ABNORMAL or wrong.
I taught 5th grade for one year and I had another female student that constantly masterbated at her desk. I called the counselor, and my co-teacher actually called her parents many, many times regarding it. Again, it was not considered abnormal/bad. By 5th grade I would assume that girls would know to do that in the privacy of their bed/bathrooms.
It is no wonder why I am now at the college level. I cannot handle young children.
I agree that she may have
I agree that she may have been molested by someone. I would be pretty hesitant to have her alone with your son personally. I have a four yr old boy and would be pretty upset if a girl was doing this to him. I don't think she's to blame but I agree with others who wonder if she is replaying behavior learned from an adult.
I would talk to a
I would talk to a Professional ASAP. This would be a good time to talk to your bio about appropriate/inappropriate touches. Anything that is unwelcomed by is molestation. SD also needs to FULLY understand that unwelcome touches are NOT okay. Not just with step brother, but ANYONE. Same age peers, boy/girl, etc. doesn't matter.
Personally, I would be worried it would happen again if not addressed timely, properly, and with all seriousness.
Some level of I'll show you
Some level of I'll show you mine if you show me yours is perfectly normal for kids who are of the same age.
Touching takes it to a level that certainly may pass acceptability.
If this is a chronic problem, I would say that it is time to expand involvement to include qualified professionals or even the authorities.
Protecting a kid from a molester, regardless of who that molester may be, has to be the goal for that kid's parents.
IMHO of course.