I did this week what I bet a lot of you wish you could do. I kicked my defiant SS out of my house.

I have been absent for awhile but have had a trying few weeks and found myself back reading through similar step parent frustrations.

I think my SS14 finally learned that I will not put up with his crap. Hopefully also learned his bio parents are also sick of his crap. 

SS14 over the last year has been a defiant pain in the a$$. Up until a few weeks ago I didnt really care. He was living with BM since her return right before the school year started. Once he was out of my home I disengaged on anything to do with him. It was major conflict before that mostly focused on SD 16. Both moved in with biomom upon her return. 

I heard the problems biomom was having but really didnt give a shit since it was finally not my problem. Two weeks ago he got himself expelled from school. Around that time he broke into biomom's safe and stole her stash of weed. Not the first time he stole from her but I guess this one was the final straw. I think it was mostly money stolen before.  I don't really know because my fiance does not like telling me the shit his kids do because my attitude and reaction is negative. Biomom decided she was kicking him out of her house. My fiancé and her decided SS14 should move to my home out of town. That way when he is grounded he has no where to go. And hopefully his father would have better luck with him.

I was not consulted on this plan and was not happy about it. I was told by my fiance that he had a very stern talk with his son about not touching or taking things that do not belong to him. That he and mom lectured him up and down about his poor behavior and there were not going to be any problems. All I thought was yeah right. (Eye roll)

Well a week ago he stole $60 from me to buy weed. We go to confront him, room reeks of weed. He denied it initially but finally my fiance got him to confess. I did not say a word to the brat about it. I told my fiance I want him out of my house. My house, my mortgage alone, my rules. Fiance said no he cant leave a 14 yr old homeless. He was trying to blame me for making his son homeless. I quickly turn it around that if his mother can kick him out for stealing when she is his mother, I sure as fuck dont have to put up with it. If he is homeless it is on mom not me. 

Almost a week passed and he is still living here. My fiance and I have been fighting most of the week. Part of it is money issues which directly relate to his oldest son and his bailing him out and not following through on a fianacial promise to me. Other part was me telling him how I have been saying for the last two years he and biomom need to parent. But I'm too strict according to him. But guess who has two kids set to graduate this year and next and guess whose oldest two didn't graduate and doesnt look like the next two will make it either. Guess who's kids are all on illegal drugs and who's are not.

My fiance comes home with SS in tow. I ask SS to empty his pockets upon entering my house. SS showed me his phone but kept on walking and went to his room. I blew up at fiance that his 14 yr old just defied what I ask his son to do. Fiancé is not concerned about it. So we start fighting.  If I cant make sure he is not bringing contraband into my house then he better go get the brat and take him to his ex wife. He refuses so I said fine i'll take him over there. 

I went to the brats room told him to get his shoes and jacket on. He asked way. I told him if you are going to defy a direct order from me and I can't trust you not to bring drugs etc. Into my house then you can't be here. I confess I did kind of go off on him. I told him you have yet to apologize to me for stealing. And that after stealing from me I told your father I do not want you in my home. Now you defied my order to empty you pockets which tells me you had something I would not approve of on you so I'm kicking you out of my home. 

Fiancé and I are fighting and it's the worst fight we have ever had. He tells me I'm making his son homeless. He says I'm making him choose me or his kids. He tells me how his kids hate me because I'm such a bitch and that he will choose his kids over me. That he is going to leave me because I'm such a bitch. I said good start now and take that demon spawn with you out the door.

Demon spawn called his sister to come get him and take him to his mother's house. He comes out of his room crying when his sister pulled into the driveway. Fiance is mad at me and upset I hurt his son's feelings. He basicly said fuck that bitch in front of his son and left the same time as the kids.

Later that night we talked it out some. I was very clear with him that I will not live like this in my house. He is upset but he does see where I'm coming from. I told him I will end the relationship before I will be taken hostage by his unruly teens again. 

It has been a few years now that I have not had a good relationship with his youngest two. Example For his daughters birthday she wanted him to take her to eat and exclude me. I said that's fine. She wanted him  to do it as a punishment for me because of how bad I treat her and her brother.  I was fine with it but I did remind him he had been present for every interaction I had with his daughter lately. I reminded him i had been pleasant and not brought up all the stealing she has yet to atone for and pay back. I basicly reminded him she is mad at me because she stole from me and I spoke up because I didn't like it. He did take me with after convincing her I didnt do anything wrong, she did. She changed her mind and said I could go with. 

And that is what I will continue to do. Remind him the problem with my relationship with those two has to do with what they have done to me. The only thing I did was speak up that I didn't like it. Yes, I kicked his son out of my house. He can resent me for it or he can realize his son did it to himself. 

I think SS finally is learning a lesson. He was very upset being kicked out of school and his mom's house in the same week. Then to have me kick him out shortly after. He is also upset by the amount of discourse he has caused between my fiance and I. But his shitty attitude and defiance has to stop. Maybe this is the kick in the ass he needs. At least I hope so. To be honest if this doesn't change him he will end up in a juvenile detention center. And if that's where it is going the sooner the better. I have no hope for the kid and see a life of jail in his future. 

I'm just hoping now my house can go back to the peaceful place it has been the last 6 months since biomom moved back. I know I still have some relationship repair to do also but we are good at working stuff out.