What’s wrong with him, what’s wrong with me???
Why does DH allow BM to insult him, control OUR household, hand over extra $$$? Why does DH allow SS to Disrespect me, lie, STEAL and basically run wild? Why when I try and get DH to stand up against BM or set rules for SS I’m the one who gets yelled/screamed at by DH? Why does DH see me as the “bad person” for wanting SS to treat me like an adult. DH is all willing to go to “family therapy” with BM and SS but refuses to go to Couples therapy with me. Well DH went Twice with me but stopped going once the therapist would not side with him. DH would NEVER speak to either BM or SS the way he talks or I should say yells at me. DH has NOT Disciplined SS in over 5 years for any of the things mentioned above.
Why is it so hard for me to walk away when deep down I’m so unhappy? Partly I’m in my 40s with multiple heath issues so the thought of being alone is very scary. Only child here with no children or living Relatives so when I say alone I mean it. I’m no longer a healthy 25 year old ready to take on the world.
Sorry for the rant but I’m so frustrated with my situation and wish I was a stronger person.
There is nothing wrong with you!
There is nothing wrong with you! It sounds like your DH takes all of his frustrations out on you and up until now you having been willing to let him. Have you considered therapy just for yourself? A good therapist can help you figure out why you are willing to let yourself be treated this way and can help you decide if you you should stay or get out of the relationship. To be honest, your DH sounds like a controlling jerk who is way too involved with his ex.
And you tolerate this POS why
And you tolerate this POS why?
you have a big DH problem!
you have a big DH problem! hes sounds way to involved with the ex also. how old is the SS?
Welcome to the site!
You are indeed being abused. I can empathise with being scared to leave - I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 24 yrs and finally got up the courage to leave in my 40s. Despite your health issues this really would be the best thing for you. 40s is not that old. Imagine how you may feel in 10, or 20 yrs time if you stay in this unhappy situation. Surely a leap in the dark is the better option?
I'd suggest that you go to
I'd suggest that you go to therapy alone. The therapist can help you sort through your fears and come up with an exit plan. You might need the support of professionals since you don't have a lot of family, but likely, there are services out there for you.
Short answer:
Your DH is an abusive asshole who has no respect for you, uses you as the scapegoat for his anger and prioritises his ex and skid over you.
You have lost your self worth and need to look after yourself. You deserve better than this rubbish.
OP, I totally understand how
OP, I totally understand how you feel. I am in a similar siutation however, I go to therapy on my own and with my DH. Everyone here gives good advice if you aren't ready to leave your marriage yet then therapy may help you. I will tell you this it won't get any better for you. Your DH will not change unless he wants to and sees that he is the problem. I am sorry that you are going through this.
It doesn't sound like you're
It doesn't sound like you're being protected/cared for by your DH anyway, so what are you clinging to? Do you really think he'll take care of you if your health or wellbeing go downhill? If anything, it sounds like that family is making you worse.
Be strong, you're in your 40s, not a geriatric. Prime of your life, lots of time to pull it together, particularly your self esteem. You can do it, and you can attract better, empowering people into your life.