on DH.

He returned to work yesterday morning. The kids and I got up bright and early too. We went to Target to buy Christmas decorations and wrapping paper on clearance, make some exchanges, and buy some other needed things. 

Once we got home, I fed them lunch, took down the Christmas tree (it was so, SO dry this year), packed-up Christmas, cleaned the rest of the house and then took them to the park, because it was a sunny, warm 66 degrees out. 

By the time DH got home I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Just utterly exhausted mentally and physically. 

Making it through Christmas Day with his parents and skid at our house was all that I could offer him. An overwhelming feeling of being done, with it all - everything, hit me hard yesterday. 

We get the kids in bed and I tell him this. That THIS is the last year. That out of all the years we’ve been together, we’ve only had two together, without his parents, and that was because we lived across the US from them. That I was done with playing hostess and maid to these insufferable people. That I only did it because I loved him and I knew the emotional backlash he’d get if he told his codependent parents it was going to be just us and our two young children. 

He seemed genuinely sad, concerned, and apologetic... until he wasn’t.

He then turned victim mode on. Even slipped and told me that a few months ago he found out that BM had put an income inquiry in with the state. 

DH currently pays $600/mo, and it goes directly to skid’s school as that’s her monthly tuition cost. 

Huh? How in the world am I just now finding this out? “Why don’t you tell me these things?” I ask him.

He gets defensive and starts in on his usual digs. How he doesn’t share certain things with me because he knows it will anger me. How I blow things out of proportion. That things aren’t as they seem. That it’s all me and my false narriative. 

He then repeatedly tried to get me to go upstairs and to bed with him. I decline and stay downstairs on the couch. I cry myself to sleep after I text my best friend for emotional support and to confirm that I’m indeed NOT crazy for feeling the way I’m feeling. 

DH got up this morning. All sullen. Got the littles ready to go to the store, because we’re out of trash bags, and they’ve been gone for a couple hours. 

I wouldn’t put it past him to be meeting up with mommy and skid for breakfast, or something...