He said the cards were dead - that means credit cards? If the credit card counts were joint - he can't just cancel them. Call the bank and verify. You should take 1/2 the money (or more) out of any joint accounts now, before he can spend them down. Put a freeze on your credit history.

Get a new cell phone plan so he can't know who you are calling. First thing Monday get with your lawyer and get some advice on the financial side of things. In most jurisdictions, once the divorce is filed, a "soft" restraining order goes into effect. Neither side can sell or move assets. (cars, stocks, the house, etc. - doesn't matter whose name it is in - "it is considered marital property) This does not mean you can't take cash for living expenses.

Hang in there - you an do this!

Just remind yourself when he (or anyone that thinks they're coming to his defense) becomes unhinged that's what he thinks is appropriate.

He thinks it's appropriate to try to financially cut you off at the knees.  He thinks it's appropriate to play intimidation games when you remove your personal belongings.  He thinks it's appropriate for someone to behave like a lunatic in his stead.  He thinks it's appropriate to escalate conflict with confrontation and verbal abuse.  He either does not recognize any of this as the disgusting behavior that it is OR he is fully aware of it and chooses to employ such methods anyway.

And he wonders why you're leaving?

This man is not worthy of you.  How he chooses to act - what he says and what he does - is a reflection of who he is as a human being.  Not you.  Do not let him convince you otherwise.

As for leaving StepTalk - don't feel as though you need to.  ST can be a support system long after you've made the decision to relinquish your stepparent title.  

Lady I am with you! We are both in similar situations-I too, left the X and went to stay with a wonderful friend- I stayed three days but could have stayed longer, instead I chose to move around my family. It was exhausting- I learned a lot about how my family and friends could be infuriating and a little bit nuts, but I also learned how much they really did love me. 

I also am still going back to the house to collect my things as I still have to go to work nearby, it is hearbreaking but I go in, do what I have to do and leave. If I needed any confirmation that the relationship is over I know now, because he could never take time off work to be with me, but when I arrive at the house during his working hours, he is often there. No words, I cannot bear to speak to him. Last time I went he hid himself in his bedroom because there is nothing that belongs to me in there. And he is the most cowardly man I have ever known.

I agree with everyone here that you should seek legal advice, do not let him keep or take anything that is legally yours. Luckily I can work and support myself, though it isn't what I would have chosen to do.The joint account was split in half- he has not been obstructive with the money side of things becaue he knows he only owns half of the house. I just want what is mine and so should you, and if you can get any more then go for it!

I think the X is in shock too, although he said he wanted to leave he waited until I did it for him, and he now sits in that half empty house with only himself for company- are any of his family ever there? No. Have they even been? I doubt it. He doesn't seem to have made any arrangements to leave that place yet, so hope he is not planning on delaying the sale by not moving out.

Finally please don't leave the site- although we have both left steplife behind, the fall-out from that action will be with us the rest of our lives. It means I no longer want to date, no longer want to be deceived, no longer want to try to please someone else who clearly cannot bear my company. Now I want to be with friends and family who appreciate my love and support in turn, and I already feel ten years younger because I can still work hard and do a good job.

Also I feel it is important that so many people trapped in toxic relationships can make that bid for freedom and lead succesful lives- so we are needed here to show some people the way. Boy- it is very hard, but only know am I realising that I still need to come here and share my experiences, and so should you.... please stay around. You will get through this.