Questions Questions...
As you may not remember, SD lives out of state, so we get to see her about three times a year.
She stays with my MIL every weekend, so DH has the opportunity to call her and talk to her dearest SD.
Why he doesn't call her when she is with BM? I have no idea, he has no contact with her for absolutely nothing, but for the essentials (and sometimes not even that, MIL calls DH and tell him everything BM needs him to know), every/most time we go to visit SD we - I - invite BM for dinner he doesn't even makes eye contact with her, nor acknowledges her in any way (I can't say I'm unhappy because of that... he truly hates her).
So my issues are always with MIL SIL and BIL as you may have noticed.
Anyway, that wasn't even my concern here...lately DH doesn't want to talk to SD, he has stopped calling her for about 3 months now (we went to see her about a month ago, but still).
I know SD only talks about her mom and her mom all the time. She is almost 7, and she texts DH through SIL's cel from time to time.
I used to ask DH if he would call her and he always says "maybe" "not this week" "I don't know" but he never does.
I couldn't care less if he calls her or not, just wondering if I should stop asking him and let him do whatever he pleases.
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Let him do as he pleases
Let him do as he pleases about his child. At least you seeing him for the person he is, and if he ever splits from you, you can expect the same treatment towards you and any children you have with him.
Just reading your posts and
Just reading your posts and finding relief in that I'm no longer feeling alienated and alone about my thoughts and feelings. For two years I've been in complete misery. Meeting my husband has been a Godsent in many ways, but also has brought a multitude of problems dealing with his ex, my mother in law, and his spoiled toddler. We live about 6 hours away so we see him maybe 3-4 times a year and a really LONG visit in the summer of about 6 weeks. To date, when he doesn't have his son here, it's out of sight/out of mind. He doesn't make any effort to send him gifts for special days, call his ex to talk to him OR even text her to see how he's doing. Yet, he whines about me not helping him more with his son or wanting to cater to his overbearing mom. I'm so completely miserable anticipating every summer. I feel that this will eventually be the end of our marriage if we don't get a handle on things now. Deep down, I feel and know that if he truly loved his son, he would do everything within his power to be there for him and ACT IN A LOVING WAY by his actions. Actions speak louder than words and his INACTION speaks volumes to me about the depth of his feelings towards his son. His son has been with us 8 days so far and to date, he's maybe spent one hour of quality time with him and other than that, hes been planted in front of a television watching episodes of Dora or Diego. I truly hope your situation gets better...as I wish mine does too! Ugh I wished I had set up all these boundaries and expectations before I became more involved. Now I have to grin and bear it and find my path without being a total bitch.
Oh! inaction... that'll
Oh! inaction... that'll become my favorite word from now on.
Yes, he does the same thing, but instead of tv he uses me to entertain SD. Or used to, after having my baby I decided not to be SD's sitter and left him to do all the work, of course it didn't work SD is so used to having ME around when we are visiting that disengagement just looks like a silly joke.
Yes, boundaries are important. I'm starting to set them in, maybe it's never too late to begin (we've been married for 4 years and lived together for 5).