double standards
Ok here goes..dh recently spent a week in the same city as sd28. It was actually a work related trip for him. I knew he would spend time with sd and ages and other family members. I had no problem with that. I actually thought it might do him good. Anyway even though he is within five minutes of sd they are texting each other dozens of times a day. I get a couple of grudging texts. He spends every evening of the week with not only sd and ages but sd ' s sil and her two kids and dh pays for everything because sd says she and her sil are broke. Then dh posts on face book about what a great time he is having with his girls and the kids. Tells me in one of the few messages to me that he is going to sleep but I find out he is chatting with other women in computer instead. Then when he comes home he posts several grumpy messages...not one word about glad to be home...glad to see me...etc...then last night he had the nerve to tell me that he told me everything. That he did while he was gone and he had not talked to any women on computer. Ipoint blank asked him if he ever cheated on me or asked other women for naked pictures or had sexusl conversations since our marriage...he never really answered the whole question...just said he had not cheated....I have copies of messages that a couple of the women he talked to sent me...they thought I should know. And for the record they did not do what he asked and told him that it was not appropriate.
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Not ages was trying
Not ages was trying abbreviate step grand daughters but auto correct got me lol
Doormat - so let me get this
Doormat - so let me get this straight your DH is emailing/facebooking women asking them inappriopriate sexual stuff and they have informed you about this? He is also spending most of his free time with his daughter, SIL and kids which he really enjoys however is irritable when he is with you and doesnt want to spend time with you?
If the above is true I would be reassessing your marriage. Firstly your DH IS trying to commit adultery. His definition of "cheating" may only involve penetrative sex, however there are lots of ways to betrayal your spouse. Having intimitate conversations and making sexual requests to other women other than your wife IS being unfaithful. You make vows of monogamy, no where in your vows does it state you can go ahead and be inappropriate with other women. Even the other women are disgusted with his behaviour.
TBH I would be telling you to reassess your relationship even without this major problem. Your DH is telling you what he thinks of you, your marriage by the fact he is avoiding spending any quality time with you, by ensuring he makes it publicly known he only enjoys time with his daughter and relatives and by then being moody when around you.
What do you want from your marriage? Are you prepared to put up with being treated so disrespectfully? Do you want to be with your DH? Have you confronted him about ALL of this behaviour, including presenting DH with evidence from these "other women"?
In all seriousness, it doesnt only matter what your DH wants from life, your marriage together. YOU are also in this relationship and I think its time you focus on what YOU want and what you are willing to endure.
I am taking care of
I am taking care of myself...making plans...he is bewildered because I don't cower and plead with him anymore...he gives me crape and I turn it back on him.....let him decide if he wants to file for divorce and have his little secrets revealed in court or turn himself around...man up and be the husband he should be