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So upset right now with Dh!

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:03pm

As some know we are going to disney this summer, so I put up a white board in the kitchen with all the things the kids can do to earn money for disney. It includes things that are NOT their normal chores for a reason.

This morning I got up to find that dh put all their normal chores on that board! SOOO freaking upset! I thought the whole idea of earning money for something special was to go above and beyond what you normally do right? Like i am with saving the money for this. :? :?

What should i do? Should I erase what he wrote and not say anything or should i confront him? I am so mad b/c one the things on that list is something that ss16 LOVES to do...and it was written on the board AFTER I had my son it as a punishment!

Comments

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:17pm

Yes they are getting cash but they don't know about it and dh wanted to give them a chance to earn extra so WE came up with this idea and I wrote the chores on it that I thought was what they should do and dh saw them too. It has been weeks since I put that up and not ONE of the skids have done a damn thing on that list and dh knows this as we have talked about it.

I guess this is his way of 'helping' his kids get extra money b/c mine have done several things already.

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:16pm

I would have the conversation with him. You guys need to be on the same page otherwise the kids will see a crack and go for the juglar.

Is this something you both discussed before he wrote the normal chores on the board? If not, he probably didn't realize he was stepping on your toes and thought he was helping.

I like your idea though. It's good to make them work for extras.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:22pm

I would talk with him about it. Are you saying that all the kids have regular chores that they dont get paid for and so you put extra ones so they could earn some money? Is he planning on paying all the kids for their regular chores? And then more cash for the extra chores? I wouldnt make a big deal out of it-I'd just say if we start paying the kids for things they are expected to do for free normally-then they will always expect it and I think we might go broke trying to pay for it!

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:25pm

Keep it for this week and then "update" it for next week. That way you let him have some control but you go back to the normal plan in a few days.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:25pm

HMO I refuse to pay for chores as it is the kid pulling their own weight within the family and I am NO freaking MAID! that shit pisses me off. All these kids are plenty old enough to clean up after themselves and to keep their rooms clean.

I was thinking the same thing we would go BROKE trying to keep up that shit. I will tell him that i erased their normal chores from that board b/c I refuse to pay for normal stuff they are expected to do anyway.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:30pm

It has been weeks since I put that up and not ONE of the skids have done a damn thing on that list and dh knows this as we have talked about it.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
UGH. I was kinda with your DH up to this point. I just though he wanted everyone to make more money. Not just make it easier on skid. What a butt.

I would erase it and then tell him that you erased it because that is not what you two agreed on. Then I think I would just stop this whole idea of them earning extra money. All that is going to happen is that your kids are going to bust their butts and SS won’t. BUT DH will still give him money. Bet cha! Then your kids will be pissed.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:38pm

Yes I agree with you. My kids all have to do chores for free. Currently I am on strike. So I am doing nothing at home. My kids are pretty good about doing certain tasks-I can ask them to fold laundry, do the dishes, pick up the living room and they typically do it-but I am having a hell of a time getting them to pick up after themselves. The kitchen will be clean when I go to bed at night and when i get upstairts the next morning it has been ransacked. They have access to the kitchen before I get upstairs. For example this morning, my ss14 put a large pink posterboard on the kitchen counter (from a completed school project)-it's done, it's graded, he just set this thing in the middle of the kitchen counter. There are also 3 large pieces of paper with girls names on it on my kitchen counter. There are 4 sticks from these sausage/pancake corndogs all over my kitchen table. Two shirts on the kitchen floor. Somebody's supper dish from last night (must have been taken elsewhere and deposited back into the kitchen later). About 4 or 5 half eaten strawberries. 3 or 4 dirty glasses. Various plastic wrappers thrown about to various food products-I'd say about 4 or 5 of these. Several pens or pencils thrown about. Papers wadded up on the floor. It is absolutely ridiculous. I've given them all the lecture on picking up after themselves and this is what I get AFTER the lecture. My dd who is usually sooo good about helping out is the one that left the dirty plate of half eaten food on the counter overnight. AFTER I told her I was done doing things for them because they dont pick up after themselves.

So, yeah I quit. No supper made last night. No laundry done. The trash is where they left it. Unless my dh has some sort of moment of insanity and cleans it. He is currently exempt from household duties as he is working on several large projects outside. I am going to be lmao in about a week when they have no clean clothes, towels, and I've not bought any groceries!

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:38pm

Dh can't give skids money b/c he doesn't have money! He will try to talk me into giving them more and good luck on that one dh! }:)

RainbowsAndDaisies's picture

Submitted by RainbowsAndDaisies on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 2:22pm

In the grand scheme of life and marriage, this is not a big deal. You guys need to learn to communicate better. Rejoice- you are going to disney. if you wanna be funny about it, write above the normal chores "Daddy Bank" and above the not regularly scheduled programing, write "Stepmommy Bank". He'll get the picture.