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OK WHEN DOES ALL THE DRAMA stop.......

bishop76's picture

So darling SD16 comes for a visit. Oh yippee!! Whatever. Anyway DH feels the need to whisper while I am in the kitchen I guess so I can't overhear the convo. WTH? I don't understand the need I wasn't paying much attention until my D5 asked why those two are whispering. I tell her that evidently there is a secret that needs to be kept just between those two.

Believe me I have disengaged but I do see red, wish I didn't, but I do. Is it time to go? Do I talk to him in order to let him know it bothers me or just say, "hey whatever"?

Please don't slash and bash just honest opinions. I really value all the feedback I get from here.

Comments

sonja's picture

Id be WTH too on that one. My SD is younger but they have plenty of opportunities to be alone and converse.. they dont need to do it when Im around but make it so I cant hear. Thats just rude.

Ive had many conversations about how him and I are the adults and this is not a him and her against me type of game. I can see how this would be harder to him for understand as SD gets older and is getting toward the 'adult stage'.

It might make more sense to ignore it but when things piss me off like that Ill blow up at FDH at the wrong time. Id wait till you guys are alone and be honest about how you feel about him doing that with her. Theres so many people and situations on here I cant remember your background, but you are clearly not excited about SD's visit and DHs behavior is only making matters worse.

Anne4's picture

IMO, whispering is just plain rude no matter who is doing it. It shows you are purposely excluding someone. If you need to speak to someone privately, then go into another room or something.

I would tell DH that I understand private conversations, but please do them in another room. Whispering just makes me feel left out.

shielded2009's picture

I don't know...

I totally get why you're irritated...

But how is he normally? My mom is this way. She whispers to people A LOT...and it'll be totally unnecessary...Irritates the CHIT out of me...But that's her MO...KWIM?

Also, what if they were talking about a sensitive subject that she feels only comfortable with talking to him about?

I think that considering the dynamic, he should be more aware of your feelings. I know if I was in the same situation I'd feel like they were either talking about me, or I'd feel left out...

I'd talk to him about how the whispering makes you feel. If it's a subject that she doesn't feel comfortable about sharing with you, I'd give them latitude with that...

I dated a guy that had primary custody of his daughter...She started her period and ran out of tampons. She came into the living room where her dad and I were and they got to whispering...He had to run to the store...He came back, gave her the goods and that was it...

When he told me I was like, "AWW!" Even though she and I have the same "equipment" and I had a supply I could have given her, it was a sensitive subject that she only wanted to address with him...

BUT if she's just a bish and doing it to get under your skin...all bets are off, lol...I've got nuthin'...I'd totally address it with DH, though

ThatGirl's picture

SS14 does this all the time. I've told both he and SO that it's rude. Sometimes, SO answers him back in a normal tone, to remind him that it is not OK. That's lessened it, somewhat.