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WHEN WILL IT FREAKING END!

worried_stepmother's picture

Submitted by worried_stepmother on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 12:42am

ok all you bio/step parents out there.....what is CHILD SUPPORT supposed to be used for? Last I understood it was for the NEEDS of the child (ex. school supplies,clothes,food,etc.) but apparently I was wrong? SS6 BM ALWAYS tells me and my DH that she needs money (when he pays his CS all the time) for stuff for SS but last I checked a BRAND NEW 2012 CAR is not cheap or for SS, GOING OUT OF TOWN WITHOUT SS has nothing to do with him, and taking the SS to the MOVIES is not something that HAS to be done EVERY WEEKEND she has him and all the FAST FOOD he could eat every week all week long to go with it. Maybe it is just me but if you and your son live with your parents RENT free, you have no utility bills, can afford to go on mini vacs all the time without your kid, and only have a cell phone and insurance and now a car payment....I think you should have money when you make $16/hour and rub it in everyone's face all the time. really grinds my gears that SS is spoiled rotten and ungrateful for anything he gets here and will make it a point to tell you that he gets better stuff with his mom (well you ungrateful little monster be glad you get anything at all here cause I dont HAVE to buy you CRAP) and that all his toys here are "old" (even if we just got them). SHE is no freaking better!!!! SS started school today...you know BM had the audacity to give us the list of school supplies and tell DH that he had to buy half the list and she left ALL the expensive stuff (she bought all the cheap stuff like paper crayons etc and left us the expo markers, tees, socks, ziplock bags, post its, etc) for him to get KNOWING that he just gave her money, we cant afford to do both (get supplies, pay her, and pay our bills), and that we have not 1 but 2 other kids to support as well. Now, dont get me wrong I know DH is financially responsible for SS and has to pay support....but WTF is it with all the "extra" stuff (ie school supplies) when we can barely afford to make it week to week here! Why is it so hard to tell her " look you psycho witch, I just gave you child support and that covers his NEEDS so go get his school stuff stop being a lazy good for nothing mother and spending my hard earned money that I have to give you on JUNK that he doesnt need!" she didnt even buy him school clothes this year...he got clothes from a "gi joe guy that his nana knows" so I know she can afford to buy the kid the stuff he needs and I know it wasnt more than $50 so she would still have money left over from what she was given to go "blow" on her drinking habit! sorry for the long vent but I really needed to get that out. All I know is all the parents that spend there child support on themselves and not their child who it is intended for should be locked up, have the kid taken away, and be FORCED to take PARENTING classes that teach you how to raise a child without luxury items or "buying their love". I was raised with my dad paying support and you know what I didnt die from not eating fast food, not going to the movie theater every weekend, and not having the "name brand" of everything! No wonder kids today are so rude and disrespectful...it starts with the parents! :explode:

Comments

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 2:22am

I agree that is the only way she will step up is to not give her anything or buy anything for ss for her. Buy for ss for your house only! I know that it might sound mean but if you do buy things for her b/c she screams she doesn't have the money you are enabling her to be a POS. You are allowing her to not be a mother or pay her part to support HER kid. You are allowing her to take CS and use it for herself b/c she knows that you and dh will buy what ss needs. You have to stop so she will stop relying on you guys.

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 7:27am

Don't give extra money......they get child support you don't have to give extra money so don't. I don't see why this is so complecated to these men.

Agged and Fragged's picture

Submitted by Agged and Fragged on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 8:49am

I am brand new to this forum (I'm embarrassed to admit I found it while Googling "I hate my stepkids") but reading your post compelled me to join.

I cannot emphasize enough, DO NOT GIVE BM MONEY!!! B***h WILL bleed you dry as long as she can. ESPECIALLY if she is not allowing you to claim the child support (different story if you have shared custody and are paying 50% or more of the child's support by court decree and the custodial parent signed off on the IRS form so you can claim the kid as a deduction). Pay your decreed child support, period. If she needs more money, then force her to take you to court and prove the child's need.

As for the kid bragging how the stuff he gets at mom's is better, I think the only gracious thing to do is take a united stand with SO and decree that cross household discussion be forbidden discussion material. The more you discourage the kid from carrying tales between households the better.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 9:43am

Don't give YOUR money for their presents. Those kids have 2 parents, just as YOUR kids. The day she gets things for YOUR kids, is the day you get for hers. Believe me I did that for a while. At the end, it was never appreciated and just expected. I remember once DH telling me he had no money to get the loser a bday present. I told him "oh well, sorry...wish I had money to give you, but I used MY MONEY to get formula for MY child since you can never contribute with even formula for him, since YOUR MONEY goes to the witch and your pathetic kid...I guess she'll have to wait until you have money." The kid of course went to my parent's house and out of the blue my mom says to me "your skid just told me her dad did not get her a present for her bday because he had no money...why didn't you give him the money?" My response? "Mom, I used MY MONEY FOR MY CHILD'S FORMULA...if you want to buy my son's formula, I would be HAPPY to give idiot DH money for his kid's present...BTW X amount of his take home pay goes to her every month..." My mom NEVER again asked. Too bad, too freaking sad. Not my problem. Best decision I ever made, just wish I had made it sooner.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 9:38am

Sounds like crazy witch when we lived in TX...Lived with in-laws, her mil took care of her 3 kids for free, both her and her DH worked...yet she asked for school supplies, new shoes for school (of course not just ANY shoes, but 50-60USD shoes), 1/2 of vacation money, 1/2 of any TOY she wanted to buy her loser kid, money for bday decorations, etc...etc...etc...but then had a better car than we did (we had 1 in our home, they had 2), went on vc with her 3 loser kids one FULL MONTH every summer out of the country, out of town at least EO month, etc...are you kidding? Idiot! DH used to of course give her the money, etc...and argue with ME when I complained he was using MY money because at the end, I had to pay more of OUR expenses...thankfully, most of this stopped once we moved out of the country. For a while he sent her extra and I almost whacked him when I found out. Once he stopped sending her extra, she took him to court for more. After that, he told her to f#$%$#5 off and never again gave her another dime.

Her kids have brand name everything, latest phones, iPads, etc...etc...etc...ours? Walmart and my mom (with Target after season sales) are our best friends.

Pathetic women. Pathetic courts that allow this.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 10:47am

herewegoagain I did that after a while of me spending my money too. I realized I had to provide for my kids before I could for anyone elses. Best thing I ever did. after a while it made my dh think before he gave then it just stopped. YAY. Now we talk about how much to spend on each kid when their bday rolls around and how much on christmas as well. Also for christmas we decide how much to spend on my kids and then we half that for the boys. Why? b/c they get 2 of everything. No I do not give my kids all their stuff when the boys are here that is for when they are at their moms doing their christmas with her so my kids are doing christmas with me :).

Dh was against this at first til I explained that they are having christmas with their mom why can't I have them same with my kids and dh's mom (whom is a sm) agreed with me. Smile She has been my best friend through all this. Kinda like been there done that and she is great with advice. I know kinda weird for mil and dil to get along as well as we do but we do.