3girlsmom's post about forgiveness earlier really really got me thinking and I'm very thankful for that post for this reason.

My H and I get in several fights a week about BM and alot of time it's due to my own insecurities, and me being unreasonable about the whole situation.
Personally I don't think we really have any other problems other than that, and over all have a great life together. So naturally it has really made me hate myself for everything that I have caused instead of just picking myself up and moving on. BM while she may be a slightly more horrible person than most, and the things she does are for all of the wrong reasons, is still just another person, and should not take up that much space in my head or my relationship for that matter. I think this is the first time since even just being friends with my H and hearing about the awful things she has done that I have looked at her as just another human other than this horrible monster that ruins my life at least once a month, I mean she has problems just like I do, and maybe things are psychologically stressful for her and I should give a bit of leeway on her crazy. I know it would help my relationship and my life from being any more stressful than needed.

So from this point on I'm going to try my hardest to not let her enter my life or affect my relationship with SS. I am going to just breath and let go of my hateful feelings towards her, and my sons BD for that matter.
I belive that karma should come around eventually and if I just let things go and kill people with kindness then its easier for me to walk away from it without a horrible anger and meanness inside of me that I have had lately. I want me back, I want to get my life back and take care of my son, my husband, his son and myself no one else should matter. Hopefully this new found enlightenment sticks and I can beat out my feelings toward everything and be done. Afterall things may not change with any one around me anytime soon so I might as well change my outlook on it.