Why do I worry?
So over the last week BM has been asking BF how much tires would cost at his work. He told her and she said that was too much. End of story? Of course not. I guess yesterday while BF and I were with his daughter BM went to a junk yard and bought some tires. When she comes to pick up SD1 she asks BF how much will it cost if I bring the tires up to get them put on at your work? BF who previously said that she was on her own for any car work, he was not going to do any of it for her and if he did he would kill her on charges, says, just bring them up I will do them for free. WTF? A 360? What was I supposed to say about that? I asked after she left why he said he would, and he said cause he was just being nice. I just don't know, so all day I get to wonder if she showed up, which I assume she will, and if she is hanging around him while he does it or if she is in the lobby, If she is gonna try to buy him lunch or something, and a whole other slew of questions because I can't help but feel this is her way of using their daughter to get free car repairs. He wants to make sure his daughter is safe, I understand that, but WHY cant he just tell her to figure this out on her own. If I say something to him, he will wonder why Im worried about it and tell me I have nothing to worry about. I know he is just trying to be nice but the thought of her up there with him just bothers me. I want to hit her... I wonder if my permission to hit her extends to this field. I guess its just venting, Im sure it will be fine. Its just irritating that he cant just stick to what he said in the first place and make her take it somewhere on her own. I did get to ask if he was going to continue this and do other car repairs for her, he said no. But I guess I will have to wait and see.
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Well at least he didn't give
Well at least he didn't give her a new set of tires. Try to look at it from that point of view.
The way I see it, and I know many may not agree, is that if his line of work is mechanic, which I'm assuming it is, that she would natrually ask him for some assistance. I think if he would have paid for the tires I would have been more upset. I also don't think that he would allow her to hang around his workplace because places like that are always busy and there are people constantly coming in and out so I doubt he would have time to converse with her anyway.
I know he didn't buy her
I know he didn't buy her tires, I'm happy for that. But its just the fact that she does have other people who could do it. Like her supposed new boytoy says he is a mechanic... why can't he do it? Its just... I don't know...
Life isn't about the days you have, its about what you do with the days you have.
I can understand why you
I can understand why you would be upset. its a catch 22 there, either dad puts the tires on and knows that SD will be safe, and hes also saving mom money that could be going to the kid. but mom could also be playing him, and you are right, she should solve her probs herself, they are no longer married and he owes her nothing except a great environment for the kids.
My BF thinks that if he and his ex get together once a week with lil dude that he may get over his anxiety, first I was ( in my head) saying, hell no your not having son dates with your ex. Then I was thinking, what message does that send to lil dude, who is already having seperation anxiety, now you want him to think mommy and daddy are going to get back together. sorry to go off topic, but to sum it up, either the dad should tel mom a good cheap place to go, and that its no longer his concern anymore.
Thanks at least Im not alone
Thanks at least Im not alone in this thinking... They were never married, she left too soon for that one... I want SD1 to be safe and all but I think he should have told her she would have to pay for it or something... its not his fault she doesn't have a job, that's all on her.
Life isn't about the days you have, its about what you do with the days you have.
NO JOB,,, ok I can
NO JOB,,, ok I can understand that to an extent but go online, and look for coupons on tire replacement. And if her new toy is a mechanic than WTF is up with that. GET A JOB!!!!! i would say
I agree. I have tried to
I agree. I have tried to tell her. Its really funny is she is even talking about going and trading in her car for a new one... payments?... and renting a place of her own... rent?... Not sure how she plans on paying, but should be interesting to see.
Life isn't about the days you have, its about what you do with the days you have.
You worry ALOT!!! lol. I
You worry ALOT!!! lol. I think you worry so much because the relationship is still new. Its hard getting used to having the ex in your SO's life. It will get easier as time passes.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
I know I worry too much. Its
I know I worry too much. Its just hard not to.
Im sure it will get easier... Thanks for reassuring!
Life isn't about the days you have, its about what you do with the days you have.
I agree with CSong, Lynne.
I agree with CSong, Lynne. And that's why I was trying to get you to see the good side of it. It seems like he is slowly trying to establish boundaries. Give him alittle time.
I guess I'd be more annoyed
I guess I'd be more annoyed than worried. Annoyed with the fact that BM can't take care of her own affairs. I suppose putting on tires that she bought elsewhere is harmless but before you know it, it'll be phone calls at 10pm for advice on car insurance, help because she can't figure out how to use her PC or email, ot any number of things because she can and knows he'll help. Some women know how to take advantage of nice guys. She'll continue to ask him to do stuff and in the interest of keeping things civil and not rock the boat he'll do them. I had to talk to FH about this when we first starting dating because they're both 10 years older than me and capable of handling their own affairs that HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CHILD separately.
My DBF's ex pulls this crap
My DBF's ex pulls this crap all the time. Yesterday for example, she txt him asking "I'm going snowboarding, what do I need to take??" He text her back and said, "why are you asking me?? Why dont you ask the people you are going with!!??" It seems like not that big of a thing, but she tries to pull this crap ALLLL the time. She got pissed b/c we have a big potty chart that we made together and put a lot of time into, and hers that she wanted us to put in our house was this flimsy little peice of paper. She threw a FIT. So I know EXACTLY how you feel. DBF has gotten a lot better though, if it dosent pertain to little guy, then he dosent answer.