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Worry?

lynneranne's picture

BF and the BM have a decent relationship, they are able to talk and function together, however I find myself wondering why she does certain things.

For example, my BF gets his daughter on Wednesdays and every other Sunday, the BM has never done this before but now that the SD is on my BF's insurance scheduled an appointment on his day. So now, BF, BM and SD are going to the doctors. I'm not sure if there is more behind it on her part than the fact she "isn't sure how the insurance works." I mean she is 26 and doesn't know how to give someone an insurance card? I also think she might just be trying to get BF to pay the copay. He won't of course but still I think she will try...

I trust him in the fact that he loves me and not her, but I just think that maybe she is beginning to see the mistake she made and is trying to get more from him. I guess this is the phase where I have to trust him and know that we are stronger than she is and just relax. But I just wish I knew what was up with her mind...

Comments

MeanOleMe's picture

I would guess if she has never done it before, and SD was just switched to his insurance, it is nothing. She probably just really doesn't know how it works. Most times you have to have the cardholders info, and maybe she doesn't know it. Like his SS#, address, emplyer, employer address. Maybe she wanted to be sure so she had him come along. I wouldn't be worried at all.

"I will not take responsibility, where I do not have authority." ~ MeanOleMe

lynneranne's picture

The reason I think its odd is she does have ALL of his information, she has copies of his SS card his drivers license, all his medical stuff and the SD has her own insurance cards. I just think its a bit excessive...

But I do agree you are probably right. Can't expect everyone to use their brains... lol...

Pantera's picture

BM did this to us in the beginning. DH didn't go. We think she was just trying to get DH to pay the copay. I wouldn't worry too much. However, I do think that things are a bit excessive in your situation.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

lynneranne's picture

He has to go, if he doesn't he will lose the little time he gets with his daughter. But at least I know he would rather me go than BM...

Life isn't about the days you have, its about what you do with the days you have.

Pantera's picture

Can they switch days? She shouldn't have scheduled an appointment on his day.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

lynneranne's picture

She shouldn't have but there isn't much we can do now. SD needs her 18 month shots and they are already late, so I guess the sooner the better. Its just irritating. He said he was gonna talk to her about it and tell her not to do it again and if she does he will not go and will not take SD to them, she can do it on her time... Sometimes I am quite proud of him... Blum 3

Life isn't about the days you have, its about what you do with the days you have.

Pantera's picture

Well at least FH is taking up for himself. I don't think you have anything to worry about then.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Pantera's picture

You are in a weird/hard situation. I wouldn't like it either considering what you went through last week. But I think that maybe in this situation, she is really just nervous about the insurance being new. If its on your FH's day, why can't he just tell her that he'll take his daughter to the appointment and she doesn't have to go (since its his day and his insurance)?

How did New Year's Eve go?

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

lynneranne's picture

He doesn't want her to think she can do this so he pays. The only reason he wont take her on his own is that it's not his responsibility to pay the copay, he pays for the insurance she is supposed to do the copay. Other wise he said he would rather I go.

New Years Eve went. Not bad, but just went. No visit from BM but we did get a few phone calls, we didn't really do anything, just played online after SD fell asleep around 9:30pm. But I guess calm is better than crazy. In a way it was nice cause it gave me a chance to talk to him, which made me feel much better. He is a good guy, I just have to remember that when I'm worried.

Pantera's picture

FH should just tell her to go and if she needs anything to call him.

Im glad you guys talked. Most of these men are good men. Once you get past the worrying, things will work out. I was like that for about the first 6 months, now I could care less. If you trust him, you have nothing to worry about, but I wouldn't be hanging out with BM on New Years Eve either, lol. Im glad you had a nice peaceful New Years Eve.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Sara_Smile22's picture

Sometimes the Ex does have regrets and tries to play make-believe or hook their Ex back in, especially after the Ex gets a new relationship...usually comes across pretty pathetic to everyone but them. If it is a ploy toward the copay then that's transparent enough...either way, sounds like it's all on her part not his so I wouldn't be concerned. BM's play power games all the time...and the really insecure ones will go to extraordinary lengths to feel in control. (same for males though...my Ex is one of these).

stepmom2one's picture

She knows how to use insurance....the fact that she lied and said that was the reason why is what bothers me.

I don't think it is a big deal if they go to the drs. together or if she makes appts on his days.....but why lie about it?

If she wanted to make the appt. that day then so be it. Say the reason why--it is a serious illness, medications are being given out, the time worked best...etc...