This is not normal and not right.. You should go with him on these outings, and make a stand that he is not to go on vacation with her. That is just wrong on so many levels. His kids need to know they are not together. They of course they should still be civil to each other but this does not involve pretending they are happy families when he has a family with you. It sounds like he is playing you.

This is all a bunch of bull - it is not about the kids - it is about him. You need to tell him this needs to stop or you will leave!! My BF tried to act like BFF's with BM (for the kids sake) and only did 1 thing w/o me & that is not okay. They are showing the kids that BF & BM still have a chance at being a family and giving them false hope. It is not right for the kids at all. It will screw the kids up. It's called boundaries. He has none. Put your foot down - if he does not change this you need to tell him you will leave ... if he loves you - he will fix this.

HELLO!! This is crazy, I cannot believe you put up with this--

I suppose he says they are sleeping in different beds too.....

Not normal at all. In my opinion, the relationship between a man and his ex should be kept strictly business-like and only relate to the skids. My H would rather die than spend any time with BM. He was wishy-washy about setting good boundaries at first, but as she got crazier and crazier and I got more and more upset, he realized that he had to create a very clear boundary with her and keep it impersonal. I would freak the hell out in this situation. I think it is extremely inappropriate to spend any time with the ex. She is no longer his family, you are. She should spend time with her kids and your guy should spend time with his kids, but not together. Very, very bad!!!!

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde

I would tell bf to stop lying for one, stop hiding, if he felt this way about the kids, why did he divorce and worse yet why did he start a new family with you. Tell him you understand he feels guilty and he wants to show his kids he is the father, but beign together with ex on vacations and what not are showing the kids dad and mom are still together but dont sleep in the same bed. daddy goes home to the other woman.
I would tell my bf, that he has a new family and that you should be included, those kids do have a new brother or sister now who's almost one. Do they have contact with the child you have? no? i think that is dead wrong! if you are being excluded. i would tell bf, either include me with their new sibling on the outtings or leave and pay cs. and come and visit as much too. Fn' idiot of a man! i'm sorry...but you bf is a whimp! he can be a father without going on vacation with his ex..he probalby is afraid of losoing his kids or something....cause if they are not sleeping together, then he is afraid of someting.

You need to ask him this question.. you wrote this in your own post:

"BUT if that's the case why dsnt he include me?"

Why? Because he is still seeing his ex and you would be in the way.

He is just your boyfriend correct? You need to quit being the other woman and step up! He is playing you for one BIG DUMMY! You ar eletting this man have his cake and eat it too.
Do you seriosly think that"nothing is going on" with them. Take off the rose colored glasses and wake up.

How old are you and how old is he. You sound kinda young. Just my opinion.

Vacation together.. Ummph! This ain't right!

"And this too shall pass..."

NO, NO, NO! DO NOT allow him to treat you and your child this way. He can pick up his kids and take them to your home. That's IT!
Vacationing with her, spending time at her house, etc...is out of line. You need to let him know what the rules are...and that is, no calls or texts unless an emergency or something important related to the kids...outside of that, all others bets are off. If he can be such good friends with her, he should've stayed married...period. Next time he dares vacation with her or go out with her and the kids, you need to pack up your stuff and get out...

Hugs to you...it makes me sick that some men do this and even more sick that the b#$%$3 ex-wife is such a loser...I have zero tolerance for men who disrespect women, and much less for women who disrespect other women.

PS - if he didn't want to be a part-time dad, he should've worked harder at his marriage...that is BS...and his daughter wanting to see him, that sounds like "mommy" telling her to do this...don't buy it...I would just run, but if you want to talk to him first and then run, go for it...

Ummm...hello? Do you even need an answer to your question?
This is not normal and this is not right. I can understand being civil with her and talking to her regarding issues about the children they have together...but to go on holidays together? to go on outings together...come on. Open your eyes and see whats really going on...it's almost like your the mistress and she is still his wife. If he can't see why this is wrong, or refuses to , your being suckerd. Please don't look like the fool and correct this situation right away. That is just plain stupid what he is doing.

" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore

I probably shouldn't comment on this, but I'm gonna. My ex and I had a very good friendship, until fdh got extremely jealous. The only difference in my situation was that I made sure that fdh was asked along on all outtings. If he chooses not to come, that's his issue. The only reason I chose to stop being friends with my ex is b/c i starting seeing little signs that my ex was not over me. fdh asked me how I couldn't have see that from the start....I told him it's b/c I wasn't looking for it. I was only concerned in maintaining a friendship for our sons sake. fdh still doesn't understand why I was still friends with him, I explained to him the same way he was still friends with his ex. He still didn't get it. Moral of the story is....when my ex and I did things together for our son, I absolutely did NOT sleep with him (we even slept in seperate rooms!)! I had no more romantic feelings for him that I do for the next door neighbors dog. See...even though all the flags point in one direction....I trust until it's proven to me that I can't anymore. I expect the same thing in return. But like I said...as soon as I realized that my ex was still pineing for me...I walked away from the friendship. Now b/c of that he's walked away from his son, but that's HIS issue not mine.

Wow, honey, you have to wake up. He can say/do what he wants to portray this as your problem with being insecure, but the writing is SOOOOO on the wall. 99% of these posts are correct, go back to the top and read them. This is so wrong on every level. There is NO excuse for this. He's making excuses for you, and making time for his ex. If he's that into his ex and kids, he needs to go back to her.

He is making you feel that YOU are being unresonable and that YOU are having the issues...sweet heart..HE is the issue and what he is doing IS the problem. All of us on here...we don't know you, but we hear your cries for help and as all of us are in the same boat to one degree or another we are giving you the best advice from our hearts and our experience. Do not let him make you feel that it is all in your head. Don't let him make you second guess your mental well being...look at what we are all saying..we side with YOU and we all are not wrong.

" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore

You say that when you guys have the skids he doesn't put the time in & comes home after their in bed - so it is definitely the BM that is the draw I'm afraid rather than the kids. How much time does he spend with your child? Seems to me like he's completely ignoring the baby in favour of the other kids.

This is not right, and he is being unfair to try and put it onto you. I hate to say it honey, but from what you've written on here I think you need to get out of the relationship.

Oh no, this is wrong on SO many levels. Girl, what are you thinking? My DH did what your BF is doing for 5 years after their divorce and it made things a million times harder for everyone involved when he finally met me and we got married. The kids and the ex FLIPPED OUT. The kids were expecting DH and BM to get back together, they just figured it was a matter of time...because they were getting along and pretending to be "practially married" all of that time, spending time as a "family", etc. BM assumed that DH would kiss her ass and let her control him forever, so you can imagine "Satan's" dismay at DH moving on to a new wife. DH now realizes that it was a HUGE mistake and our therapist says he is mostly to blame for all of the issues the SD's have becauase he pretended like they were a family unit. You can imagine the hell that I have been through being the "new wife" aka most hated person in the world. By the way, little do the kids know but BM is a lesbian so the odds of them getting back together was about um...negative 10!! LOL...

You need to put your foot down honey. That's what I did...and things changed to be in my favor. You and your BF have a child together, therefore you guys are his family unit now. But I guarantee if he does put his foot down with BM, she will flip out because right now...she has ALL the control over him and obviously NO respect for your relationship.

Good luck!

Love

**Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!**

It is odd BUT if you were always invited that would be a bit better. Are you, or is this their time? If you are not invited then I would run....FAST.