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DH seems like an alien after spending weekend at MIL

livinthedream's picture

Submitted by livinthedream on Sun, 11/08/2009 - 7:15pm

It was FIL(big racist pig) birthday & DH went with skids to spend the weekend there. I will never step foot or communicate with them ever again.Of course, DH took skids shopping over the weekend & tried to tell me that it was extra gifts for FIL! I was happy that I was having alot of peace & quiet at home without them all.I really didnt want to hear about the weekend nor did I want to know what DH told MIL about our business. I took myself shopping over the weekend & made sure to eat out as well. It was nice that DH paid for it all! He complained - oh well!!!

Comments

SmileForMe's picture

Submitted by SmileForMe on Mon, 11/09/2009 - 8:15am

we do...why don't you feel supported?

"Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it." *Anais Nin*

livinthedream's picture

Submitted by livinthedream on Tue, 11/10/2009 - 5:44pm

This is why I didnt feel supported...

tell me how to ex-communicate certain members of DH's family and how well it can work.

I had notated that FIL is a big racist pig & he is a male chavenist pig who follows along in the circus BM dictates. I feel supported Minnemom who mentioned that her therapist said its not emotionally safe & I agree with that point of view. Also, Ive been told by my minister that some people are like oil & water. I can not change any of them but I can change myself. Would you want someone belittling you when you drive hundreds of miles? DH understands why I dont like them. More importantly I now understand!

SmileForMe's picture

Submitted by SmileForMe on Tue, 11/10/2009 - 5:55pm

I took her comment as a question. it seemed she was truly interested in knowing how you were able to do it and how well it was working bc she's interested in trying it. Maybe I misunderstood but that's just what it seemed like...

I'm sorry you didn't feel supported initially. That's no fun. But a positive side is at least your DH understands why you don't like certain people in his family...that's half the battle

"Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it." *Anais Nin*

livinthedream's picture

Submitted by livinthedream on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 6:56am

I appreciate the clarity & support. DH & I have been discussing the holidays & how I am not participating with in-laws. How do I manage to keep my distance from inlaws? I have told DH that until I recieve an amends..I will not partcipate. I need to be treated like a rose not a tampon!Im very guarded when it comes to BM-she lives in IL...so does goforit. We can all appreciate feeling guarded when someone pops up here on our site that has the similiar things in common with the BM monster we have had to deal with.Its especially difficult when the inlaws treat BM as if that is their only DIL & BM expects inlaws to treat her at their only DIL.

Janey1970's picture

Submitted by Janey1970 on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 7:24am

I agree livinthedream. It is difficult to get your head around inlaws making a big deal of the ex and vice versa.

I know in reality, they cannot stand the sight of each other, but somehow, the SIL especially loves it when the ex turns up at funerals, parties etc and acts like the long lost and much loved DIL. If we find out she is going, we either don't go at all, or leave early. It has been the subject of many arguments which never seem to resolve.

My in laws are not big on loyalty and have a very short memory.