So sorry to ramble.

I am so beyond tired of being unhappy.

I'm 21 and Ive been married for 2 1/2 years to a marine. We got married very quickly (4 months after meeting, January 2007) because he was deploying in July 2007 and I love him with everything in me. But sometimes that isn't enough.

We found out that we were pregnant in February 2007. A week before my appointment (May 1st) I stopped feeling pregnant. At my appointment they discovered I'd miscarried.

2 weeks before he deployed, his ex fling sent him a message on myspace informing him that she had his daughter (Born April 24th) and that he needed to take a paternity test the following week. As soon as we got to DSS I knew the child was his.

I have tried everything to get past this. While he was deployed I sent the girl money every month to help out, though it wasn't ordered. I called to check up on the baby and visited her everytime I made a trip home.

When DH got home, she had an appointment scheduled to go and arrange CS. I was very nice to the BM but could still feel the resentment.

We had it worked out to get SD for 2 weeks every month. We do all the driving (6 hrs away) and still pay child support. BM lives in a house given to her by her grandparents who live right behind her. She doesn't have to pay child care and gets food stamps.

I potty trained my SD so now she doesn't even need to buy diapers. We do not share clothes between the 2 homes so we buy our own clothes for her to wear here.

Its so upsetting that while I'm having to work a 40 hour week at a real job just to get by, and coming home to be a free babysitter to her child, she works a 22 hr a week job waitressing at the golden corral and not having to pay for anything.

Now BM is talking about raising the child support when the time comes. I wish she would just go away. It kills me that she doesn't even spend the money on SD.

When I first married DH I had a dream of raising our little family and having a good marriage. I hate the idea of divorce but I cannot bring myself to have a kid with him because us having a "first" was stolen from me. And it would feel like things were being taken from my baby because of SD.

Also I'm sooooooo tired of trying my hardest and hearing "I like my mommy, I don't like you and daddy." (she definitely knows what shes saying because when I tell her to stop being mean, she says "Oh I like you and daddy")

I think I want a divorce...... I love DH but I'm so tired of being unhappy and crying all the time

DMartin0118's blog
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I think you probably live

I think you probably live very close to me. Is he stationed in Jacksonville? My situation is SS lives in another state too, only he is 11 and we found out a couple years ago that he is NOT my DHs son, and we still have to pay child support! So I know how you feel with the resentment! You can PM if you want to talk!

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

I would be resentful, too

At least I walked in my situation knowing that my husband already has a child with someone else. I really feel awful for you. That sucks so bad, even more so because of your miscarriage. I'm sorry that happened.

I wish I could say more, but I don't know what to tell you. I don't want to advise you to get a divorce, but if you're really that unhappy & can't get through this, it might be your best option. Especially since you're so young! You could move past this & be happy. I feel for you!

Im sorry but I hate that

Im sorry but I hate that even being mentioned. I've considered that thought and know that if I hadn't miscarried, I would have divorced him then. Because Id have been too bitter about my child missing out on things.

sorry. Im so scatterbrained right now i cannot think straight.

But no i promise you that isnt the reason.

wow, you have been dealt a

wow, you have been dealt a hard hand...you are so young to have all the drama dropped on you. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. A miscarriage is tough enough on a marriage and then to add the surprise of a child from a previous relationship that comes with BM drama is a lot to process. You will make the right decision in the end, regardless of whether the decision is to keep trying or divorce. I wish someone on this site had a clear cut answer for you. Just trust yourself...don't sacrifice your happiness for the happiness of someone else. Good luck

I agree with frustrated

I agree with frustrated stepmom! Don't sacrafice your happiness for the happiness of someone else. You are worth a lot yourself!!! Sorry to say but quit trying so hard to handle his messed up business, and let him do the work..........You concentrate on you.

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