DH met with BM and her lawyer yesterday to work out the logistics of the custody modification.

She will pay child support, or at least it will be written into the modification that she will and what the amount will be and when it will start. SD will begin living with us full time beginning next Wednesday. She starts school in our district on the 26th of November. There is no set schedule for visitation, just that BM and DH will work it out between themselves. BM told DH that she understood that SD will not want to spend all her summers and all of her vacations with her as she will probably want to be with her friends and participate in activities from school. I'm hoping she will eventually have a little job as well. BM will try and come here to visit SD and stay with her parents as much as possible. BM will pay for all travel expenses when she does vist her in NC. BM will pay half of all medical and dental expenses not covered by my insurance. And she has agreed to pay half of whatever college costs turn out to be when SD goes away to school. DH will no longer pay CS to BM starting next week. The lawyer also said that it would be an act of good faith if BM were to give us a little money before she leaves and before the order is signed.

BM's lawyer said that he would draft up the papers tonight and fax them to our lawyer before the end of this week. He hopes to get our case in before a judge before December 14th which is the date BM hopes to leave. BM will be paying for all of this.

At first she balked at CS but her lawyer told her she would end up having to pay something anyway so she may as well concede that now. Her own lawyer told her that.

DH said that she did turn part of the meeting into a counseling session where she told her laywer that she thought DH and I would be better parents to SD and that she had messed up her life so badly she really felt this was the best thing for SD in the long run. I'm not sure if that is to garner sympathy from DH and her lawyer or what, but I'm not going to give it too much of my energy either way.

DH is very excited. I'm scared and nervous about the prospect of having her full time and all the changes that will bring for me and my household but I'm willing to give it the best I have.

So that is that....for now. I still wont' believe it until she actually signs those papers. I can't believe she would do this. She will lose everything. Perhaps the guy she wants to live with in NC has lots of money and has made some promises to her. It's the only thing I can think of. I can't imagine any guy would do that. She's a mess with a bad track record of leaving men and using them.