It seems the only person in this house who learns from their mistakes is me.

It's a very sad state of affairs because I am not the one with all the issues. But yet here I am learning new ways to maneuver through life while avoiding SO and SKs issues. 

Just when I thought SO was starting to learn that not parenting SKs has lead to negative consequences and not setting boundaries with BM has been detrimental to SKs emotional and mental health.

Just when I thought SO started to see the light after a 2.5 hour conversation with BMs oldest daughter in which she talked about the years of emotional and physical abuse her and all her siblings were subjected to at the hands of BM. Her suicide attempt at 14 and the years of therapy she has attended to try and deal with the abuse.

How she told him he needs to get YSD away from BM and how he needs to provide her with stability and structure just like her own father and stepmother did. How they saved her by being the normalcy she needed in her life and getting her away from BM. 

I learned how wrong I truly was. YSD has been emotionally blackmailing SO because he turned off her phone. SO said before he turned it back on he was going to block BMs number so she couldn't keep mindf$cking YSD and limit her contact to visits or calls on his phone. 

SO turned YSDs phone back on, not because she apologized  or corrected her behavior, but because she won't talk to him!  He also is not going to block BMs number because YSD will be upset with him.

When I reminded him of everything he said. Per usual he became defensive and accused me of not wanting him to talk to his kid! I threw that right back at him and told him how he never spends any quality time with his kid! How he just gives her what she wants and that is supposed to equate to love and parenting. 

He then tried to say how I would never keep DS away from his BD. I also had to remind him of how DS didn't see or talk to BD for 3 months because I got an OOP against him after he threatened me. How BD had to attend therapy and comply with court ordered anger management before he was allowed any contact with DS.

I then told him from this point forward I officially no longer GAF about YSDs behavior. She is free to be a feral child. I no longer want to hear about YSDs bad behavior. I will no longer expend an ounce of time or energy regarding YSD. 

He then spent the rest of the day nagging about how DS got toothpaste on the sink and mirror. This continued even after it was cleaned. When I told him I no longer wanted to spend any time with him and I was going in another room because all he was doing was complaining. He turned it on me and how I have told him everyday for the last 7 school days how YSD has been skipping online school.

I then sarcastically apologized to him for getting involved in letting him know about her attendance in order for him to intervene before CPS showed up at our door for educational neglect. You know because toothpaste splatters and truancy are equilvalent issues. That was very wrong of me and he can trust me when I say it will never happen again. Next time it can just be a surprise!  

So I have learned a lot from this experience. I now know SO will never truly change his parenting. We will never be even close to the same page.  YSD is likely destined to end up like OSD because SO is following the same pattern of parenting and expecting a different result. 

I accept I truly have no control over this situation and never will.  I absolve myself of any responsibility. I will from this point forward not allow myself to get involved in anything having to do with BM or SKs. I feel zero empathy towards SO when it comes to his kids because he has caused all his own problems and continues to do so and will never learn differently. 

I also don't care how it makes SO feel when he is left out of any plans I make because he needs to stay home and take care of his daughter. I am happy to remind him if why that is if he complains. 

Just like the other day when I told him DS and I were going to "X" over spring break. He said he would like to go do "X" and YSD would probably like it also. My response was well then you should make plans to take her.