Hello to all the long-suffering, patience-of-a-saint SMs and SFs

I've been a member of STalk for a few months, reading, relishing and revolting over the shared stories. I thought it might be time to share mine.

I have been with my SO for just over 3 years now. We have lived together for the past year or so. Prior to that we had managed a LDR because my DS19s biodad was/is useless and I take my responsibility of producing a functioning, productive member of this 'community' seriously. So 12-18 months of giving my boy a bit of a hand has landed me with a son who has moved into his own place, is at University, works on days that he has no lectures and plays sport at a State representative level, all of which he organises and pays for himself. Sounds pretty productive to me Yep, my work here is done

I then move interstate to begin the next stage of a joyous life with SO, full of travelling, living rurally and enjoying ourselves and each other's company .... Yes!!! His eldest, SD20, has moved in with BM (that's a whole other story ), and youngest has finished HS and will be given a gentle push to find her feet ... herein lies the problem.

SD19 is bone idle. That's about all. She's not violent, in trouble or causing drama ... that would take some form of effort on her part ... not gonna happen. It's hard enough for her to lift her arse from the seat in front of the computer to come join us for dinner that is cooked for her, served to her, cleared after her ... all she really has to do is lift it to her mouth and chew, and seriously that sometimes looks like it's a chore!

In Aust, there is the option of taking an 'easier' route in Years 11-12 (the last years of High School) if you don't intend to go onto further study. Guess who took it? About 8-10months after finishing school, she 'decided' it was time to do something (her dad's constant nagging about getting a job possibly had something to do with the 'decision'). So, she decides she wants to go into child care (I very nearly choked on my coffee when she announced that one ... this skid can barely look after herself, how the hell is she going to deal with a room full of kids?) and study by correspondence. The first package of study material arrives after her dad has finished paying off the course for her, 'coz she buggered it up and agreed to pay the full amount rather than pay on a monthly basis that she could afford (you know how it goes... 'ooops! Daaaadddddy, you fix it for me'). So dad's paid for the course, she's supposed to be paying back into his credit card account the monthly payments that she could apparently afford via her welfare payments, to do the course ... but, guess who get's a bitch of a credit card bill because ?!?! ... she FORGOT! (I notice she's still 'forgotten' and it's over 6 months into the payment plan :S) So, course is paid for, material is arriving, I have made sure the printer is full of ink and paper (I've studied at Uni, and know what's involved) ... time passes .... SD is on the computer from the time she gets up in the morning (well, I say morning ... give it half an hour and it'll be afternoon :S ) till she goes to bed. As yet not one assignment has been handed in.

SO gets back on the 'Get a job' bandwagon. 'Yes, yes, whatever!' is SD's reply. Still no attempts, applications or searching is done. Her older sister gets her a job at a new fish and chip shop ... Nice ... which we have to drive her to and from because every time we try to take her for a driving lesson so she can get her licence, she's too tired/sick/stressed and 'Do you really think it'd be safe for me to drive when I'm so tired/sick/stressed/busy - insert whatever excuse she deems plausible today :S Then the shop fires her sister and cuts her hours to one shift a fortnight. (SO and I both think there's more to this than the shop isn't doing as well as they expected ... always looks busy to us) Sadly, this means she can say 'I've got a job', whenever the subject of getting off her arse and doing something productive is mentioned. She's too tired after her 5 hours work a fortnight to keep her clothes washing up to date. Too tired to ever cook dinner. Too tired to even put her plate in the sink after eating. Too tired to pick her sanitary products up off the bathroom floor. Too tired to lift a finger to help herself, let alone anyone else in the house.

We have a bit of a menagerie. Both SO and I are animal lovers, and that means our home sometimes looks more like a petting zoo than anything else. It means a bit more work cleaning up after the little dears, but we like it SO and I have both grown up with animals, had the responsibility of looking after our pets not taken over for us by our parents, and neither or us are 'stupid'., however, apparently SD19 is the only animal expert in this house and regularly hands out orders and directions on the best way to look after 'her' pets. FB is constantly being told about all she does for them. If I was to believe what I hear through FB these animals flock around her like Disney's Snow White :S I believe the last time she cleaned out 'her' rabbits was 2 months ago after a screaming match with her father about doing sweet F.A., and a half hour job took her 4 hours. Believe me, the bunnies do not live in the squalor she would leave them in. I can't do that to a defenseless animal I have taken responsibility for. This lazy, arrogant piece of work, tells SO that he's not doing a good enough job with the animals, that he should be doing 'xyz' and make sure that he does 'abc' and don't EVER 'qrs' etc. Sadly my SO needs a MAJOR stab before he bites .. mostly he just goes quiet and seethes :S Damn him!

I hadn't realised just how much CRAP I want to spit about this situation :sick: However, I have responsibilities that I take seriously ... like making sure the household has food etc, so I will have to continue this vent a little later.

Thank you all for your precious time. Finding this site made my year