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SM's never get the credit they deserve...

uwouldtry's picture

As I stated before my SS12 has one week with us and one week with BM rotating. Both parents work, and I stay home. I am the one who helps him work through the issues he's having with his parents, I'm the one who takes him for his checkup's, and I'm the one who I feel knows my SS the most (as I spend the most time with him). I am literally sick of hearing BM tell my husband that my SS has such issues with us and that we lack ability to care for his needs as a young adult. This is coming from a woman who works two jobs, one being an adult entertainer in the evening. I am waiting for paperwork from her slimy lawyer stating shes pushing for full custody. You know who I feel this looks bad upon? Me! Because I am the one who is with him more than either of them. I know what I do for him, but do we as stepparents ever get credit for it? Nope, I guess it's just something we signed up for when we said "I do". Maybe we could petition for a national "step-parent" day! Wouldn't that chap BM's ass!!

Comments

Pantera's picture

issues with you and your husband? wait until ss finds out that bm is a stripper, lol!!! hang in there!!!

imagr8tma's picture

ever get any credit for anything we do. I guess it is just the nature of the beast.

wickedwitchtai's picture

WickedWitchTai Smile Totally agree with you. Start a petition and I will sign it.

Colorado Girl's picture

Do you do it for the credit?

Do you do it because you love your SS?

Do you do it because you feel obligated?

I only ask because I used to wonder where my kindness became an expecation. Where my giving sense turned to obligation. Where my "happy to do it" turned to resentment. It's a line that gets crossed so often in our situations.

If the statments in her paperwork are false, simply state the truth. Respond with the positive impact you have in his life and you'll be fine. This very well may be a reflection of you... just make it your reflection, not hers. Smile

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

Sia's picture

with CG! State your truth and it will all come out in the wash!

uwouldtry's picture

I can tell you this, if I didn't WANT to do it, I wouldn't. Birthmoms and birthfathers do it beacause they HAVE to, stepparents do it because they CHOOSE to. And I was merely stating the FACT that we rarely recieve any positive thanks for it! I guess it's like being a teacher, its a soul satisfying job....but the pay sucks. Blum 3

Snarky's picture

Getting credit for hard is great; however, that's not the case in being a stepparent. Being hated for no reason, cleaning up after someone elses kids, and being disrespected are all a part of daily life in a stepparents world. But ya know, after four years of dealing with it, I have learned that I am a good person! My convictions have held strong in the face of adversity. I have discovered who I am, and who I would never want to be. And for that, atleast two of my SK's now love and adore me, while the other one is the demon spawn from hell.I've learned to set boundaries and stick to them and I've also found my breaking point.

Nobody in this world can dictate who you are or what you should do, that is up to you. So give yourself credit for what you have done, because your opinion is the ultimate one in this situation when it comes to getting credit!!

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

SerendipitySM's picture

Credit?? Us - that's funny. I have never and will never get any credit for any of the things I have done for my SD's....mind you I said "done" because I no longer do anything....sorry, it's not in my nature to keep getting kicked in the a** and going back for more. They hate me(the oldest SD no longer comes over)and I have come to terms with that. My priority is my DH and our marriage. He and TROLL can worry about how their kids will turn out...

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

Does your hubby tell or show you how much he appreciates what you do. My BF never use to until one day I was feeling really down and he asked me what's wrong. When I told him I just felt like a maid and a babysitter he didn't realise that's how I was feeling.
Unfortunatly guys are thick and bad mind readers and need to be told (in a nice way of cause) what's bothering us.
BF now makes sure he tells and shows me I am appreciated. Even if it's just a quick hug from behind while I washing the dishes. It's made me feel much better, loved and appreciated.

stepmom2one's picture

I am sure she is only saying these things becuz she wants full custody. She only wants full custody becuz one of her slimy stipper friends told her she could rake in some money from the ex.

uwouldtry's picture

Why when 50/50 custody is ordered, the fathers always pay for things and never ask for reimbursement from BM,and BM's think they have the right to demand or threaten to sue? If I won the lottery I would pay the bitch off, cause all she sees is dollar signs when it comes to SS. BM has two other kids, but their fathers left state with no forwarding address.