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Damned no matter what I do !@#$%^&

stepwhat's picture

It just feels like a now win situation with SD25.
BM can admit to breaking up her family, twice, for infidelity and she still comes out smelling like a rose.
I call SD out on her verbal barrage lobbed at me and I am stinking of insulting parent and being passive aggressive.
Just because her BM lets her lash out at her, am I suppose to take it?
Is it too much to ask for a modicum of respect for our place as parents?

Comments

herewegoagain's picture

No, you should ask for respect AS ANY PERSON should...period. I hope this is not happening in your house or through calls...if so, stop it now.

stepwhat's picture

Thank you for your comments.
No SD is not at home. She sent a couple of emails after our weekly phone call where I, short of time and space as usual, wanted to catch up on something that she was going through but I managed to do it poorly (that is my fault).
But her emails have me on a roller-coaster ride, the first one 3 reasons she's furious with me, the second one an apology for the harshness but not for the things she said, the third one a plea asking if I had gotten the other two (I didn't respond cuz I needed time and she had recognized I would) but she couldn't take not knowing if I "hated her and had cut her off" or if I was just taking time to process. So silly me, I responded with a short email where I apologized for my part but also told her that I found her "tantrum" to be "unacceptable"...well, the fourth email now she's offended that I am telling her that what she feels is unacceptable - yet I had been very careful to say that it was the behavior, and not the feelings, that I found unacceptable.
I realize she's just throwing a hizzy fit, it's just that it invokes so many years of grief with my place as a "step" parent and not a "real" parent.