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Our 50/50 custody is going bye-bye

steppingsucks's picture

So I just got the news that we're moving from 50/50 custody to about 30/70 custody. DH is a shift worker, and he'll work for 5 days and then be off for two. So that means in a two week period, BM will have SS9 for 10 days and we'll have him for 4 days. As I mentioned on a previous blog post, I stood my ground and made the change a few months back that SS9 could only be at our house when DH is also home. So that means that we won't have SS9 as much, and we'll have to pay child support to deadbeat BM who's on welfare, disability and food stamps.

But you know what? I'm thrilled!!! I've never been so happy at the prospect of paying child support. To me it's worth it for having the peace to raise BS15 and BD2 in a more stable and less chaotic environment. DH is mad that I won't support him in keeping 50/50 custody, which would mean me having to take care of SS9 on my own a lot more while DH is gone at work. That wouldn't be much to ask for a normal step-kid, *but* SS9 has absolutely no respect for me, and treats me like sh*t under his shoe.

It's been about 2 years now since they discovered a benign lesion in my brain that cannot be removed because of it's location. I told DH back then that I needed less stress in my life according to all of the doctors. That lasted for a bit, but things went back to there terrible normal ways once the shock wore off. So I will continue to stand firm that I am not a doormat, and that me, BS15 and BD2 *will* be treated well in our own house. DH and SS9 have chosen the predicament that they are now in, and even though DH doesn't want to accept it, it's his own doing for not parenting his kid and allowing him to treat others like crap.

Regardless, I've gotten my wish. God must be listening!

Comments

fedup13's picture

I highly recommend it. I did it this last fall and it was the best thing I ever did. DH gets pissy, but you know what? HE IS NOT MY KID!!!! I am not his parent and it is not my responsibility to tend to him.

TASHA1983's picture

AMEN!!! I am sooo happy for you!!! Smile

I too would rather BF pay CS ANYDAY than have to deal with SS11 anymore than BF already has him. (Every Wedn 2 hours & EOWE Sat am - Sun pm) Skid is pretty much a BM clone and I told BF before that I want NOTHING to do with his kid...EVER! BF was great about it and he KNOWS that his kid is HIS responsibility!!! However, I also hate that BF gets raped in CS but that will be getting addressed in the very near future...no way is some gold digging govt leeching pos getting more of my man's money than that kid needs.

I hope you THOROUGHLY ENJOY your skidless time!!! YOU DESERVE IT!!! I pray for a healing for you as well.... Smile *hugs*

steppingsucks's picture

Thanks so much everyone. I've literally prayed for a way for things to easier for everyone, so I'm just so relieved. Living as stress-free as I can has been a goal of mine for over 2 years now with everything, and this will hopefully be a HUGE step in the right direction. It's so nice to have your support and kind words.

@gerilee1987: It took me years to get the cojones up to tell DH and BM that I would no longer watch SS9 on my own. I had to make the decision in my head that it was going to be like this, and that I was never going to waiver from that fact. Luckily for me, that was the original custody arrangement, so BM had no leg to stand on. DH was the hard one for me to convince, but I basically told him that if he wanted to remain married to me, he was going to have to do this for me. I told him that I love him, but I don't *need* him, so he needed to make a decision pronto or he wouldn't have a decision to make. Luckily for me, he chose our marriage and sanity over the chaos of SS9 ruling our house and schedule. DH may hate it, but you've got to put *you* first, and DH will respect that about you in the long-run!