I would also have her contact her local women's shelter. They have many resources and much practice in the ways to get out of abusive relationships.

Yes, she needs to call the cops at the time of any incidents.

I called the police on DH over a year ago when we had a fight and he smashed my cell phone and smashed lamps and doors, etc. I wasn't scared for my physical safety, but nobody had ever destroyed things like that around me before and I freaked out. The police came and took pictures of all the damage, and took pictures of me too even though I said he didn't hurt me. I didn't file a restraining order and things are so much better now. He got stuck with a few court dates and some fines, and we went to counseling, and his anger is much more under control. *knock wood* but we've only gotten into one argument since then, and he was drunk at the time, and was mortified after the fact.

Anyway, even though I didn't file a restraining order, the police told me that if I ever felt threatened again, I could simply go to the police station and get one at any time in the future. I think if they have one incident on file, they'll take anything you say seriously. So if your friend calls the police the next time he acts out, although it doesn't need to be as bad as hitting her, she'll be set if she decides to wait it out.

It's a tough situation. It's easy for all of us to just say "leave!". It almost felt like an insult when the cops at the police station called me an abused woman. Women's shelters or therapists even are a great help, if only to help your friend create a plan, whether it be leave or stay.

I have a friend in a similar situation. Sadly, she keeps going back. If your friend will not leave the relationship, you really can't do anything to help her. I say this because, I'm understanding from your post that this had been an ongoing thing and she STILL married him thinking it would get better. I finally had to tell my friend that I couldn't hear anymore until she decided for sure that she wants out. She has all my #'s, and knows she can call me anytime, night or day. I just couldn't take the heartbreak of hearing the horror stories, knowing good and well that he may end up killing her, and still she stays.

I watched my mom get abused for years. The final blow was when she had to climb out the bedroom window onto the fire escape in the middle of the night and climbed into a neighbors apartment. She was hospitalized with a concussion. I was 16, with my first child and I lived with my 1st DH at the time. I am the oldest of 4 kids. We had watched her get beaten by my stepdad for years and she always took him back. After the last beating, I told her that if she took him back I was taking my siblings with me and I would leave her alone so he could kill her. She believed me and she never took him back. I am sure he would have killed my mother. I was 16 years old and I stood tall & defiant, she needed my strength at that time and I was not willing to let my younger brothers & sister live in that environment for one more day. I will pray for your friend that she finds the strength to leave that man before he hurts her really badly.

The next time it happens she needs to go straight to he cops. Forget calling them and having to wait on them. Just run out and drive to the police station. Have them document and take pics. Get a restraining order. In the meantime she should save money and have a bag or suitcase packed and hidden just in case she needs to go to a shelter. If she doesn't want to go to a shelter then stay with family or a friend. It is not shameful to be a victim of abuse. I think some women feel ashamed and embarassed which is why they don't get help or tell anyone. If his is truly yourfriend, then YOU get info for her. Talk to the cops about what they would/could do and what she needs to do to protect herself. Then give her the info. We can give advice but talking to the actual auhorities where you live will be much better. She may be too scared to ask for advce.