Dh and I had our first baby together just over two week ago and I've noticed some interesting changes.

Background: I have dd12, ds10 and ds9 who are with is about 60%+ of the tIme. DH has ss13 who we have primary custody of. He sees BM eowe but this summer he is doing two weeks on/ off between homes. BM was absent from ss's life for about 7 years but came back around when she got wind of another woman (me) and now she sees SS regularly but... She's nutso. We have a restraining order against her and she constantly causes problems of one sort or another.

Some interesting things have transpired since the baby's arrival:

- DH is in awe of how in tune with the baby I am an how much the baby favors me. I keep telling him that I'm the mommy and that she knows me best and it's my job to be in tune with her. (I know this is extremely different than his experience with having a baby with BM. For example, when SS was a baby she would actually tell DH "you go get him, I didn't want him, you did"

- now that I am focused on the baby, DH is giving SS more attention and one on one time. Prior
To baby's arrival, DH was always up my butt wanting to everything g with me and begging Me to go on every home depot trip, etc. It's been nice to have DH run to the store on his own and hear him invite SS rather than him bugging me to go with him.

- all the kids are in love with the baby, including ss13 who originally said "that's not my blood and I'm not going to love it" when he found out we were expecting. It's nice to see SS happy about the baby.

- I also see DH trying to push the baby into SS though it's not really necessary. All the kids seem to hover and want a turn wih the baby. I'm not sure what DH is thinking but it almost seems forced, but whatever. It's a little weird but I could be projecting.

- DH was explaining to SS how the baby loves me / the mommy so much and how mommies are the center of the baby's world becuse mommies take care of babies, etc, etc. I couldn't help but feel bad for SS because his experience with his mom was / is so different. I'm pretty sure DH never picked up on how SS could have interpreted this but ... That's a man for you.

- last thing: when SS went for his last visit with BM, DH mentioned to SS that if he brought up the baby's arrival to BM that there was a good chance that she would say things to make SS feel bad and would probably start a bunch of drama. SS agreed and told DH he was right. I'm not 100% sure, but since things have remained pretty quiet, I don't think he told his mom.

Just thought I'd share. So far the baby has really been a gift to our family.