I take care of them like they are mine but I dont think I'll ever be able to love them like they are my own. I love them but its different with YOUR own child (even tho I dont have one yet!).

And I think all kids say stuff to their parents AND step parents that they dont mean and to hurt their feelings. I was guilty of both when I was younger. She wont appreciate anything you do for her until she is older and looking back on her life.

I don't think I'll ever love FSD as I would my own children. She's a good kid, but its hard for me to love anyone period. Unconditional love is so risky for me to just give it away. To be honest, I still keep a fair amount of emotional distance with her.

Well I cannot have kids of my own... I do treat my BFs kids as if they are my own, I know they are not, but I love them very much, and when they are sad, it hurts me to see them sad.. I have only known his kids for a year, but I have no problems with them.. The youngest is adorable but she is with BM a lot, and acts just like her st times!! And it drives me and BF nuts.. I think if BF didn't allow to to yell at the kids and give rules and what not, I would be agravated.. But BF does live with me, and his kids are there half the time.. I think the skids are respectful towards me cause I do a lot for them.. They have good manors, and I hope it continues that way.

I don't think, we know how we will love our own children untill we have our own children. No, I don't love SD like she is my own child, because she's not my child. No one asks me to love her like she is my own. She has two parent's to love her like a parent should. Anything else is just an extra

This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. My biokids are out of the house and off to college so I miss them dearly. It's hard to open my heart to the skids, at first I thought they were the greatest kids in the world until we actually started to live together. The skids just wanted to still live like pigs. I'm a clean freak and my own biokids know that. I gave the skids chores and all that came out of their mouth was how much are you going to pay us? I asked if they liked the meals I prepared them and they said "heck yeah!" well I asked them how much they were going to pay me? Guess what, they've been doing chores ever since! They used to live with DH in a garage and in deplorable conditions. No kid should live like that. At first I thought all kids were biologically my DH's but come to find out that the oldest and the youngest are not. So I think that is were my disengaging started because he was not open with me since the beginning. He says he is punishing bio mom by making the youngest hate her not what I see whenever they see each once/twice a year. Mom doesn't pay child support, doesn't see them regularly or does she get them essential items as clothes, shoes etc., wait correction, she bought her daughter some shoes that were two sizes too big and a backpack. But coming back to the question, do I love my biokids, I have motherly protection over them but no, I do not love them like I love my own! I'm also scared because DH and I are planning to have one of our own and I'm a very loving affectionate mother with my biokids, so I wonder how the skids are going to feel about that especially the youngest whom is 7 and is a girl. But I forewarned my DH about that and it seem to bother him a little.

I did until I became pregnant...I can honestly say she was never really mean to me, however she began to cause many problems between DH and I because she'd tell DH she was "afraid" of me, others would tell DH that "I" didn't feed her (mind you, there were only 1 or 2 times I was ever alone w/her...etc...BM began demanding more and more money from US, harrassing DH by calling our house all the time if we had her or his cell phone, telling us where she could go and not go, etc...and eventually I said "enough!". Not my kid, not my responsibility. I stopped going w/DH for pu/drop off, buying her anything extra, etc...she did constantly lie when I would tell her to pu her room, but my son now does the same...so looking back I can say that yes, we had a decent relationship but all the BM drama and lies from her especially about being afraid of me (possibly so DH would dump me, possibly things BM told her to say), destroyed our relationship. I am not against ever having a relationship w/her, but only if DH shows her the proof we have of everything she had because of ME and how BM lied to her and turned her against us and ruined our financial security. The reason being that she has been so poisoned against us by BM that unless the truth is laid out for her, she will continue to have the same bad attitude she has towards DH and myself and I will not allow my son to live in that chaos w/her in and out of his life.

So yes, until I had my own child I loved her "as my own", but when I had my own child I realized I loved her, but never the same as my own.

I gave DH's child everything I had to show her I cared about her and would be her advocate and ally when DH had custody. He was raised by old world parents and was the youngest, so I knew I could help him understand the obstacles a teenage girl can face every day.

What I received in return was multiple stab wounds in my back (rubbed with salt and lemon juice for fun), my teeth kicked in and my heart ripped out.

I have nothing to do with DH's kid any longer. She comes to our home and I'm decent to her. I care to the extent that she is my husband's child and what happens to her has an effect on him. I don't engage her in conversations and answer her questions with questions.

I have completely disengaged from the DH's kid. She no longer has any power over my life. I don't like her or love her.

My ss was actually treated better than my birthchildren and older step son by husband until I put my foot down recently. I treat all the kids the same. They get the same amount for birthdays, christmas, etc. and I have the same expectations of them all. If they are in school I expect they do the best they can if they want help or extras. If they choose to not go to school they will have jobs and if they are over 18 and out of high school they are out of the house if they can't abide by the few simple common rules we have here such as pick up after yourself and call or text if you are going to be out late or not come home.

I think that as the sane, adult woman we are in our Step Kids lives it us up to us to be loving toward them and expect respect in return. I wish we could expect love and that they could see the value in all we do for them, but we simply can't. For the most part these children are confused and afraid of the unknown after the trauma of a divorce, so we can just be a safe place for them. I don't have children of my own, and at 34 I don't think I will, but I was a teacher for 10 years and I know even if children/young adults don't say it, they KNOW and LOVE when they feel safe and protected.(I hope we can all have stories like storiesbysteve!

i love and take better care of my animals...

by no means do i neglect the skids -- i cook/clean/save their ass when a school project is due/listen/buy the gifts/etc for them, but would really rather be getting a brazilian wax or walking on hot coals...

funny you say it like that --- my relationship with skids is actually better than most step relationships.....

however, i do indeed FAKE any moment of happiness to see them/hear their voice/know they exist... i keep hoping the "fake it til you make it" rings true one day!

it happened over time (long story)...... unfortunately in addition to how much they piss me off, they also get the over flow of disgust bm & mil create for me, b/c skids are the root of it..