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I just dont want to do it.

mckids's picture

I was almost afraid to google "I hate my stepkids" I felt like I maybe should be ashamed of how I feel until i saw some of the comments on this website, i'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one who feels the way I do about my boyfriends kids.
Last Jun when school was out Boyfriend brings adoped daughter age 15 to spend some time with Him for the summer, well she never went back, He and I did not live together during this time, I was raising my daughter who at the time was a Senior in High School, when my Boyfriend and I met I made it clear to him that I couldn't move and he couldnt move with me until my Daughter graduated from High School. We decided to move into a 1 bdrm apartment in Aug of last year save money for a year and buy a home this year 2014, well that didn't happen because without discussion He tells me that we need to be looking for a two bedroom because his Daughter will be coming to live with us. I said that was not an option for me and I was without a place to live. He got at two bedroom for Him and his Daughter and i was encouraged to come with Him. Against my better judgement I moved with the two of them at the end of Sept 2013 by the end of Oct 2013 He had packed Her up and took Her back to Her Mother because she was having sex in the house after school with other High School kids. He ask me to forgive him for allowing Her to come without communicating this with me so I did. In January of 2014 He allowed the courts to give him full custody of Her, so I packed up and moved out again, i haven't been back in the house since. His 23yr old Son has also come to live. Last week he said he was tired of them and was sending both of them back to their Mother in Jun and we would be together. Well this week I was told that He may be moving back to his hometown were the kids Mother lives for a job promotion, while hearing the news of the job promotion from Him he tells me that I need to really be thinking about moving with him and raising his Daughter because now that He will be living closer to Her Mother the Daughter will really want to live with Him and that He could already hear His Mother commenting that now that He was living back in his hometown the Daughter could live with Him. I have a feeling that my Boyfriends Mother has no idea what type of GrandDaughter she has furthermore I told Him that His Mother was not making discussion about my life. I need to hear comments and I also needed to get this off my chest. THANKS

Comments

Ex4life's picture

You know the answer to your problem. The title of your blog says it all. Go with your gut instinct....You just don't want to do it.....so don't. You've tried it once and it didn't work. The move will be even worse as there will be no getting away from them and you will have given up everything to move. Chances are good that you will resent the BF before long.

hereiam's picture

This guy is all over the place. And the track record kind of speaks for itself. Go with your gut.

mckids's picture

Thanks, the voice inside tells me to walk away, it's just hard. Before BF brought his kids into our relationship things were great! How could HE choose that life over ours? I can't imagine why?

mckids's picture

I'm 45 and this has really taken me by surprise. Yes, I thought I was in a relationship with someone who put me first, He was good to me. I was wondering if i were over reacting but I just can't get pass how His Daughter takes up so much of our time together, it's like we only get time to ourselves at bedtime and by then I'm ready to go to sleep. She just came out of nowhere with no regard the I had no idea She was coming, she could care less if He and I had any time together, it's was's for dinner Dad, Dad do you want to shoot some baskets, Dad I'm hungry, well at 15 my mind is saying go in the kitchen and fix you something to eat.