I probably would have left this situation the day that I met his darling little sweetie.

I can complain about SD all day and all night, however, I rarely make her the focus of anything intentionally. Now, this doesn't apply to the 5x a day that she does something really brain dead/annoying/mean/nasty/rude and her SDness is simply observed in the wild. (note that her father is equally as 'jaw dropped' as I am over SD most of the time) These days I try to just not focus on SD, not my eyes, not my attention. I just make myself busy rather than feel annoyed at a manipulative 8 year old.

My husband has custody of her. He fought long and hard for her and then he gets her and does nothing with her. She's never been in an extra curricular or anything like that and I do feel that he is responsible for those things now that he has her full time. He is responsible for making sure she showers (nope) and that her laundry is done (nope) or just general SD upkeep. He does the bare minimum. I don't do any of that. Sometimes I will pick her up from After care or she will ride the bus home if I am off, or I will brush her hair for her if I am home... but my husband and I have 2 kids under age 2 together and they are MY bios and MY priority. DH wanted SD so badly full time. I think she should be spending a good deal of time with her BM. It's a constant thought and argument. My husbands NUMBER ONE reason for NOT letting the BM have some custody or time? Child support. I make sure to bring that up if we actually decide to talk about the SD situation. Child Support. Not that he want's the best for SD blah blah blah barf. Just Child support. She pays him now (60$ a month???!) but if it were to go back to 50/50 custody he would be paying her more like $500 a month. Which I do agree, would be a hard hit on our household and our children. Also to our egos. Giving $500 of our HARD EARNED dollars to someone who's never worked a day in her life? And she hasn't worked because she is a lazy piece of crap, not because she is well off enough in any way to not HAVE to work. The lady lives with her parents and pay no bills..not even her own CS. Not the best example for SD, BUT, and this is my point here, SD IS ALREADY A MINI BM. THE DAMAGE WAS DONE A LONG, LONG TIME AGO. NOTHING THAT SHE WILL LEARN OR OBSERVE AT BM'S HOME WILL CHANGE WHO SHE ALREADY IS. SD is BM.

SD will be with BM the SECOND that she has the choice to choose who she stays with.

In other news, BM's baby is due this month. That's right. She can't keep custody of one kid so she has another. That seems pretty typical around here.